But do I get the bonus geek points? If not, it’s okay, I already know more than I need to about INTERCAL.
Um, no. The word you’re looking for is bairn. A barn is what my grandparents have. 
smiles sweetly at Maeglin and hopes she doesn’t get attacked with a sword for this…
(I clearly DO have too much time on my hands.)
Main Entry: bairn
Pronunciation: 'barn, 'bern
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English bern, barn, from Old English bearn & Old Norse barn; akin to Old High German barn child
Date: before 12th century
chiefly Scottish : CHILD
Still derives from the OE bearn, so Maeglin’s RIGHT, DAMNIT! He, uh, didn’t make a mistake in the spelling of bairn, since he, uh, was using the ME barn instead.
Yessir. (Damn. And here I thought I could show up Maeglin, dammit…) 
Does this mean I don’t get run through with a sword? 
I dunno Maeg…
I was aware you were going after ‘bairn’ there.
But really the ref you cited:
That’s a spelling defined as obsolete there. I’d have to question it’s usage in a modern forum.
Um. Unless you want to start spelling ‘knight’ ‘cniht’. I can go either way.
Pucette:
It should be pretty easy to predict my next move. After all, I’ve got your next move already predicted. I may have one or two units a little off, but your next move is pretty obvious.
Wait, let’s all predict Italy’s next turn! At least Russia got eliminated right before this slowdown…can you imagine the frustration of getting the game put on hold when you’re down to ONE center?
However, I’ve given up predicting Germany. Maybe this is just his secret plan to lull us into complacency…
It’s the word that is obsolete, not the spelling.
MR
You wanted Martial, you get Martial, II.36.
And other shitty-ass fantasy authors, hmm. I’ve got a good feeling about the following two guesses, based on your posting style, your background, and what little I know of you. I’m leaning towards either Gene Wolfe or Oprah Winfrey. I hear her Book-of-the-Month club is pretty well received.
And just one more to make up for the delay, again from the master of invective himself:
Catullus counters your Martial. Carmen 23.
You got me again on Gene Wolfe, though in the past I have posted my admiration for his works several times. You could just be cheating.
At any rate, I’m reading Epiphany of the Long Sun right now.
Forbear to round on me with your sword, good sir, but wasn’t that kind of his point?
No one said I couldn’t do research :). I’ve found posts of yours from classicalfencing, some links to World Masters Dip, and even what might be part of a chat transcript with Robert Jordan … I’d pick TWoT as another of your fantasy addictions, but I have only the merest of hints at that. And if that is you in that transcript, then I’d include Ayn Rand as another skeleton in the closet.
However, I’m pretty sure that another one would be George R.R. Martin. I think the connection is with the last name.
And I defecate more than ten times a year, thankyouverymuch. To offer a very quick translation to our audience (since I laughed out loud at that Catullus quip, given the previous reference to ‘shitty-ass’):
But paper covers rock. Er, Cicero beats Catullus, or so said one of my professors. M. Tulli Ciceronis Orationum Philippicarum Liber Secundus.
I started The Name of the Rose last night. Any comments on it?
Is that Latin? I gotta learn Latin. Will you two teach me Latin? Or at least insult me in it!
I’m just a simple swordsman. I have to start work on the scholarly side of it.
I hate search engines! I hate them I hate them I hate them!
Just so you know, that chat transcript was from several years ago. I must have been 17 at the time. That should explain all of it. And by the way, you are a real bastard for linking it.
I do hope you found my CFML posts entertaining, though. I know my friends did. Their tolerance for my abrasion is not nearly as high as the SDMB community’s.
He shoots! He scores! I have two of them in hardcover. I even ordered the most recent one from England before it was released in the US. But any way you slice it, the man has skills.
I was hoping you would notice that. My Latin teacher would be so proud of me.
The Cicero is vicious. No one accuses me of incoherent speech.
There isn’t a whole lot that trumps Cicero. I’m tempted to throw in a vicious line or three from Archilochus, but I don’t think that would be fair. Rather, I’ll draw from the King of All Latin Invective, the Apocolocyntosis of Seneca.
It doesn’t get much nastier than that.
As for Rose*…I would rather not comment. I want to see what you think.
Jodi
Not as I understood it. I believe his point was that the word itself was legit, but my particular spelling was not. I claim that the word itself is archaic, whether you use a standard or an alternate spelling or not.
Mnem
Tempting, very tempting. I’ve always wanted a disciple. If you don’t mind getting a textbook, I’d be happy to give a couple free lessons. I don’t think LNO would mind, either.
MR
I’m just happy I didn’t mess up the coding from all the earlier quoting.
Glad I made your day.
I haven’t read anything by him yet, but he’s definitely going on The List. And let’s see- I’ve guessed Hobb, Wolfe, and Martin, along with evidence of Jordan and Rand, with an incorrect guess of Oprah Winfrey. I am definitely on a roll…
I didn’t even notice it at first, I’m ashamed to say. I did catch it on the second run-through when I changed ‘bad nasal emissions’ to ‘icky nasal emissions’. Icky just felt so much better.
I’m tempted to concede – I’ve hated Seneca ever since I was forced to translate his whining gripes about living above a bathhouse as a first-year student. However, I will try to find something to upstage that … after all, what is a Pit thread without insults?
Ah, for the days of thumbing through a worn, beaten, chicken-lo-mein-soaked copy of Wheelock. I’d be more than happy to join you in disciplining other Dopers.
You really hate Seneca? He is definitely one of my favorite authors. I imagine you were not reading his best work.
Pick up the Thyestes if you get a chance. It is…stunning.
Another Wheelocker? I was suckled by Moreland & Fleischer…we will have to try to compromise.
MR
Just give me a title and author or some other way I can find a specific book and I’ll get it. I’m entirely serious. I know I’m not gonna learn Latin so quickly or easily, especially over the ‘net, but I figure it cant hurt to get some kind of basic stuff in my skull so when I find the time and cash to actually get schoolin’ in it, I’ll have a base to build on.
Whaddya say, Maeg? And LNO?
I say that if Maeglin keeps pushing Moreland & Fleischer on you, we’ll need to call him out again.
Seriously, though, I’ve got no problem being a resource for a beginning Latin student. It has been over four years since I last used one of the introductory textbooks, so I’m a bit clueless as to what the best one would be. (Wheelock! Wheelock!)
I’ll defer to Maeg’s judgement on what text to use. After all, it’ll be an excuse for me to buy a copy as well.
As much as I worship Maeglin, I’m using Wheelock as we speak. (I’m a very baby Latin student. But I love it, love it love it love it…) Its cute, decently well organised, and the comments are good. If you want extra stuff and comments about different things I have all of my collection from my grand two semesters in it. (With the best prof on earth!!!) I’d be happy to share. (My very cool prof gave us a lot of extra worksheets…and I have most of the answers to the excersizes in Wheelock)
Latin isn’t hard at all, if I can learn it it can’t be bad. I’m an idiot about languages. (Though I’m getting decent enough in Latin my inablity to spell is kicking in…scary…) Oh! But in Wheelock, if you get suck on a sentence because it doesn’t make sence, you’re probably right. Some of the practice and reviews were written on crack.
[sub]and Cicero wins…I hate Cicero. Yes I know I haven’t had half enough exposure to him to say that. Doesn’t matter.[/sub]