Great story. Propofol is a hell of a drug.
My colonoscopy story is a bit more routine They told me I would go to sleep and wake up feeling like I had the most restful, wonderful nap ever. And that’s what happened: I woke up, feeling refreshed and wonderful. “Is that all? It’s over?” “Yes, and your colon is good to go. See ya when you’re 60”.
Heh, as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve had two colonoscopies awake and sober. (By choice. The one time i had propofol i woke up with an unshakeable belief that I’d nearly died, and also felt profoundly violated. I want to avoid that going forward unless it’s really truly necessary.)
I had a great time, too, although i didn’t sing. And since they all expected me to be awake, no one was startled by it, and they didn’t feel the need to hold me down. Instead, i chatted with the doctor and watched the movie. Which is really cool. At least, i thought it was. And i, also, for a clean bill of colon health. Also, i drove myself home and could do whatever i wanted that afternoon.
So for youse that did it whilst awake (namely puzzlegal and Master Wang-Ka), do they still numb you down there, or are you feeling the full effect of the probing utensil?
They like to give you something for pain and something tranquillizing. Problem, for me, is that I’m not allowed to drive a car for 24 hours after getting that, so I usually beg off and take the anal probe cold sober. It hurts a bit, but if the staff is willing to pause a bit and take it easy around corners, it’s not too bad.
Best colonoscopy story this year! Decade, even.
Congrats on the clean bill of health.
Great story, which made me chuckle!
But I have to ask: Three days of a liquid diet? 12 months ago for my colonoscopy, I had 24 hours of jello and broth, while I was also ingesting the laxative mixed with Gatorade.
Thank you for that laugh. I never fell asleep to wake up again. I watched the whole thing on the monitor, even interrupting them with “Hey, is that a black bean? Makes sense, as it was in my last meal before drinking the aquarium water.”
No drugs. No numbing. I did not find it especially painful. There’s some discomfort shoving the probe in, and I found it hurt briefly as they shoved it around one of the major bends. That was the only time I would describe the sensation as “painful”, and it’s a crampy feeling that for me lasted a few seconds. They do the exam on the way out. I felt no pain and really, no significant discomfort as they pulled the probe out and did the exam. Sometimes the doctor sprayed an area that wasn’t totally clean, and I honestly don’t remember if I felt that or not. It certainly wasn’t uncomfortable.
I gather the degree of discomfort varies from person to person. My brother had an unplanned unsedated colonoscopy (he’d had a can of diet coke on the way to the exam, and they said the procedure was still okay, but he couldn’t be sedated. They offered him the choice of rescheduling or doing it unsedated. He said “my colon is sensitive. I felt every turn”. It also varies by doctor – the first time I had one, it was more uncomfortable shoving the tube up, and was quite painful for a few seconds going around that bend. But that time, too, I found the actual exam part to be painless and interesting.
From my experience I find it hard to comprehend why sedation is standard. It increases the risks, costs more, means you need to find a driver, and it kills the rest of your day. I think they mostly sedate people because people are squeamish about having something shoved up their butt. And I suppose you need to lie still – but that’s easy. You don’t have a reflex to move when you experience bowel pain, it’s not like the reflex to pull your hand away when you burn your finger.
I dunno, maybe I’m an extreme outlier, and other people are miserable if they need to experience it. But I’m surprised it isn’t like MRIs, where the standard is no sedation, but people who can’t stay still, or who panic in enclosed spaces can opt for sedation.
IANA medical anybody / anything.
I will suggest that perhaps the value of sedation lies in preventing what happens next after either something scary appears on the camera, or the patient just freaks out for no apparent reason. Or worse yet, when the medics are having a really bad day at work and somehow they perforate the bowel and now emergency surgery is needed.
I think perhaps in those cases I’d rather my patient be a lazy inert lump than be 200 lbs. of thrashing panic while driving its blood pressure through the roof and my sharp tools through its spleen.
In my biz we have similar restrictions about who can ride with us. Not because their presence would be a problem or distraction during normal ops. But, among other reasons, the amount of additional problem they can cause when our day has suddenly turned from routine to Battle Stations!
The second time i had a colonoscopy they ran an IV so they could knock me out quickly if something untoward happened. They did the same the second time i gave birth, after the baby was diagnosed to be breach.
I’m just going to say that the risks of something bad happening during a normal vaginal delivery are a lot higher than the risk of perforating a bowel during a colonoscopy. Also, the risk of perforating a bowel is a little less without sedation, because the patient may say “ouch” before you push all the way through. (According to one study i read, anyway. That may have been a risk with propofol, and not with lighter sedation. They use propofol anyway, because patients like it more.)
Dude. This story made me laugh hard. I have actually passed it on to several others who got to chuckle out of it as well. I’m glad that everything worked out okay for you.
Oh man, just saw this because of the link. I am crying laughing. I’ve done two, and didn’t wake up.
The first one was kinda fun because all the female prep staff (no idea afterwards as I was out) were making fun of my hairy arms, calling it “man fur” and shit. Then out after being hit with some kind of a “ruffie”, then waking up and feeling vaguely violated.