TMI - You have been warned...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So, why am I sharing this? Because I can. And maybe to get some sympathy. And maybe to get some reassurance.

On Monday, March 18, 9AM, I report to Orange Park Medical Center for my first, and probably not my last, colonoscopy. Yep, a man who I trust to be a qualified physician is going to insert a camera into my nether regions and look at my innards.

How bad can it be? I’ll be anesthetized, so I’ll sleep thru the unpleasantries. So even if I let loose with all manner of noxious reek, I won’t know and I won’t care.

The fun starts Sunday. I can have breakfast. Then nothing but clear liquids from then on. And by clear liquids, they specified nothing red or purple. Sadly, my favorite Kool Ades and Jell-Os are red. So I’ll have lemon and lime. And I’ll drink my Sam’sChoice flavored waters. I can have buillion also, but it’s in the mid 80s, so I’ll stick with the cold stuff.

Sunday afternoon, I take the first dose of Fleet Phospho-Soda Oral Saline Laxative. It’s lemon-ginger flavor - yum… :frowning: That’s to be followed by several gallons of clear liquids. Time to make sure I’ve got a well-stocked bathroom library. Later that evening, I get a second dose of the Fleet Total Body Evacuator followed by several more gallons of water. I’m thinking I won’t get much sleep that night. Perhaps I should sleep in the bathtub??

This whole thing was triggered by my physical in January. My Dr said if I was younger, she’d have just changed my diet and retested me for blood in the stool. But since I’ll hafta have this bodily invasion when I turn 50 anyway, and since I’m already 48, what the heck!!!

I’m trying to be cool about it all. But there’s a little nagging in the back of my mind - my grandfather died of colon cancer. Granted he was 85 and he had several other problems. Still, I’m not ready to face my mortality. And I’m probably just being overdramatic. After all, when I thought I was having a heart attack, it was just my gallbladder.

But I’m almost 50. And tho I know better, I don’t take the best of care of myself. And I really don’t need to be dealing with this.

Thanks for your attention. Now go eat something with fiber in it!

:smiley:

2

Well, better to have it checked, than to put if off and then to find something later on.
My mom had colon cancer about 7 years ago. She was having symptoms, she went in to get checked, and they admitted her to the hospital that day, with surgery the next morning. They removed a tumor the size of a softball from her. Thankfully it hadn’t spread. She’s still alive and completely recovered.

I’m 37, and I’m getting around that age that I need to get it checked out. I dont look forward to it, but it’s better than the possible alternative.

3

Fleet Total Body Evacuator LOL, is that really the name of the stuff?

4

FCM, I had this same exact procedure several years ago in my early 30s, and had the same concerns you do - I was prepared for cancer or Crohn’s disease or various other worst case scenarios. My gastroenterologist was concerned because my symptoms (bleeding from places no creature should bleed from, cramps) were made worse by high-fiber food. I was also very worried about the procedure itself, but it turns out the preparation was the worst part. The cause of all the nasty bleeding was… drum roll… an internal hemorrhoid and a couple of benign polyps. I’ve been able to control it with a higher fiber diet ever since - turned out my system was getting enough fiber on a regular basis, so when I had some, it acted up.

I hope your diagnosis turns out to be as easy to deal with.

5

Barking Spider, glad to hear your mom did OK. Just hearing the “C” word is scary. But I know early detection is the best defense.

Cisco, no, it’s not the actual name, but if truth in labeling was enforced, that’s what they’d call it!!!

porcupine, my husband had this done a couple years back - Crohn’s runs in his family, but he’s OK. I guess we should be glad that the technology exists to do these exams without cutting. But I’m still not happy about the whole thing.

Suddenly, I’m wishing we’d bought a cushy toilet seat…

6

I had a colonoscopy last winter, just before Christmas.

FairyChatMom - The most miserable part is the two days of preparation beforehand, the liquid diet and the Phospho-Soda purge. As far as undergoing the procedure itself, I was afraid too, but there is generally nothing to worry about. The sedative they give you “blanks” your memory. The nurses told me that I would be conscious, but I only have their word for it. As far as I know, I slept through the whole thing; I remember turning onto my side at the doctor’s direction and curling in a semi-fetal postion…and then it was an hour and a half later and I was in the recovery room. A nurse gave me a box of juice.

A friend drove me to the med center and back. I was sick on the way home–we pulled over into a parking lot so I didn’t mess up her car. When I got home, I slept for about two hours, then got up and made a sandwich, lay down on the couch for awhile, and went back to bed at the regular time.

The next day, I went to work as usual. I had occasional bouts of wooziness for the next day or so, but was otherwise fine. No physical discomfort afterwards.

If the place you go to is like the one I went to, they may also give you lovely pictures of your colon to take home with you. (I remember saying something like, “Oh, darn, and I’ve already sent out my Christmas cards.”)

I was fine. I hope this information is of some help, and that you are okay.

7

Hi FCM!

Been there, done that, 3 times. (I’m so competative!)
The first time I was awake for the whole thing and even got to watch on the monitor. Gave new meaning to the phrase “Know thyself”
The second time they put me under, and who knows what devilment they got up to while I was unconscious? (I never could spell that word.)
The third time they snipped out parts of me that they wanted more than I did.

All and all it’s not that big a deal, really. The Fleets is tedious at best, and there is some ‘discomfort’ when they first insert the garden hose, (‘discomfort’ is a euphamism for “Does that thing have teeth?”) but it’s nothing compared to a gall bladder, so don’t sweat it. The best part is if they pump air in like they did when they cut out my polyps, you will have the most obnoxious gas for a few hours afterwards. (I took mine to Costco :smiley: Teach them to raise my fees!)

Anyway, it’s pretty routine, and you shouldn’t worry about it, but do post after and tell us that everything is Okay, won’t you.

Take care my friend.

8

I had to go through the exact same preparation for an IVP (special X-ray of kidneys and ureters–intestinal contents would block the view) I had right around when the board went down. I had a thread over here, too, asking for sympathy, but it got lost in the Great SDMB Winter.

The good news I can share from my experience (outside of the fact my test was normal) was that I did not get the least bit queasy from that Fleet stuff (although…feh…I can still taste it if I think about it…ye-ech!) and that my butt didn’t get chapped, as others had warned. It was far from pleasant, mind you, and it’s astonishing that there can be that much STUFF in you at any one time. …But, more or less things were annoying but livable.

The hunger was a pain, and it wasn’t so much the hunger itself as it was that I got so incredibly sick of sugars. The Jello (I had the Berry Blue–not bad), the Otter Pops, the sweet juices…ICK. By evening I was sick of it all and had chicken broth for dinner. I’m telling you, it was the most delicious meal I can remember having in a while!

My mother has to get colonoscopies, too, as her mother had colon cancer. (That was ages ago–long before my memory–and she has been fine since.)

Hang in there, sweetie. We’ll be thinking about you!

9

I know what you are saying: “Bittersweet? WHAT?!” but alas, I have (like so many others in this thread) had a colonoscopy too. What makes me so special you ask? I’m 17. Yeah Yeah Yeah…my gasterointerwhateverist thought I might have Crohns so I went in for 3 tests…a barium swallow, a CAT scan, and a colonoscopy. I had them all not a month ago. Look at the bright side. atleast you arnt going in for a BARIUM ENEMA!!!:eek: I’ve heard of people who had to do that…not fun.
Anyways, the test is really bittersweet. What can be possibly good about it you ask? The medicine what else?! I was under for 30 minutes in the procedure. Its a “reverse amnesia” drug mixture of some sort. You cant remeber very much (if anything) from the entire day. I do remeber right when they gave me the meds and had me roll over, I started laughing…for 15 or so seconds…something was funny, I dont know quite what, but I was definatly in a good mood. turns out later I was laughing uncontrollably for 5 minutes straight and ended when I said “I better stop laughing cause you all are going to think I’m weird”
The bad though? Its not the probe itself. It feels like you have to crap durring it…thats about it. I watched it on the TV (I can remeber a few things about the procedure)…so that isnt it. What IS bad, is the night before…Ugh I have nightmares about that still. When they give you the stuff to clean your system, ask for a really obscure flavor that you dont mind removing from your diet. I used to LOVE pineapple…I gag when I even smell it now. Just stay confindent. You will have to spend the last half of the gallon on the toilet. If you retain the liquid…by all means STOP. I dont remember it all that well, but I couldnt crap, and my belly was all swollen out because of it. I threw up once from it though. After a few glasses, you’ll get a system down. Here is mine if will help you.

  1. Plug your nose as you drink it
  2. Have a glass of water right next to you to pound down as soon as you drink the stuff
  3. STAY CONFIDENT!
  4. Pound down the liquid as you would a shot. Dont leave it in your mouth ANY longer than you have to. However, keep the water in your mouth for awhile to rid the bad taste.
  5. As hard as it seems, change your train of thought as BEST as you can.
  6. STAY CONFIDENT!
  7. Listen to really loud, energetic music (such as techno) even if you dont like it. It will boost you to keep going.
  8. Get up and walk around for a little bit whenever you can. Gravity will help push things along, so try to avoid laying down.
  9. Remeber that it will be over in a short time
  10. STAY CONFIDENT!

I hope this helps. Oh, and in cause your colonoscopy is in the morning, this can help too. You wont be passing any solids by your test, but you will be passing a brownish liquid that might make you think extreme diareea (or however you spell it) and you are still passing crap (feces sounds way too informal). Truth be told, if its a light brown clear color, its not poop, its your own bile. I diddnt know that and paniced that they would go in and find a motherload hidden in some corner, but it was only Bile. So I wish you the best of luck. If you have ANY other questions, feel free to e-mail me at trunks450@hotmail.com.

Oh, just in case you were wondering, I dont have Crohns…I have severe IBS which still isnt fixed yet, but thats a whooooooooooole other story.

10

First off, {{{hugs}}} FCM. I hope the Moose will be very nice to you while you’re going through this.

Secondly, I had a sigmoidoscopy a couple of years ago. Colonoscopy lite, essentially- same prep, same procedure, but without the benefit of the amnesia drugs… they don’t go as far up the colon, so for some bizarre reason they figure it hurts less. :rolleyes: I’ve gotta echo what’s already been said about the Fleet stuff… it’s disgusting and needs to be quickly followed by a water chaser. I had to break up the doses, because I vomited the first one up.

Third… whatever you do, try not to look at the scope before the test. Just trust me on that.

Finally, just try to relax. The best thing you can do is what you’re already doing- getting checked out when it’s still early. Had you just buried your head in the sand and said ‘Oh, it’s nothing’ I would’ve personally driven down to your place and beaten you soundly, bundled you into the car, and brought you to the hospital myself. So there.

Good luck, hon.

-BK

11

My Dad has had about six of these exams done, and a couple of far less pleasant procedures related to his prostate cancer.

He was somewhat nervous about the first one, because the doctor kept using phrases like “slight discomfort,” using the Bumbazine definition.

The other posters in this thread have more direct experience, but Dad told me that the worst parts were the anticipation and the laxative/enema bits. The actual exam didn’t bother him that much.

Try to relax. It’s trite, but a positive attitude really can take you a long way.

My Dad is fine today, and I hope that you are, and will be, too.

12

Thanks one and all! I just finished making 3 different Jell-Os - orange, lemon and lime. I read the directions for tomorrow several times over - it’s not gonna be fun for sure… But I’ll have a good breakfast anyway.

Incidentally, Miss Moose is gallivanting around Europe with Shibb - it’ll be me and doggies and hubby and the PerfectChild[sup]TM[/sup] and the twelve pack of Scott Tissue.

I truly appreciate the anecdotes and advice. I never thought about holding my nose while drinking the stuff. I’ll hafta try that. And I promise as soon as the effects of the anesthetic wear off, I’ll be back to let you know that I’ve got the perfect colon. How’s that for positive thinking??

13

Good Luck, FairyChatMom. I’ve also “been there, done that” and agree with the others that have posted, too. The “preparation” was much worse than the actual procedure. The side effects were minimal and were well worth the peace of mind. Sending good DoperVibes[sup]tm[/sup] your way and keep us posted.

14

FairyChatMom
You definitely have the positive thinking thing locked. Heck, I had the snapping-rubber-glove-finger-wiggle exam for something different when I was 32. I mean, sure it’s an actual piece of equipment, but you made it almost 18 years longer than I did. Besides, you’re an actual, real-life current engineer, and therefore likely to look at all the instruments and say, “Wow. Cool. Lemme see how this works.” Then you’ll take every thing apart to “verify functionality” and they’ll have to postpone your test.:smiley:

Seriously, don’t worry about what you can’t control. If you don’t mind a total stranger (and a seriously lapsed Espiscopalian at that) praying for you, I will. Heck, I’ll do it anyway, it couldn’t hurt.

Besides, you are required to stick around. You promised to be my Special Friend[sup]TM[/sup], didn’t you?

15

You’re right, the two-day preparation is perfectly ghastly. You have my 100% sympathy.

I had a colonoscopy in 1985, in the doctor’s office. They did not put you to sleep for this–I was merely given a sedative.

This meant that I had the actually quite fascinating experience of looking down at my bare belly while lying on the table and seeing the light shining out through my skin. “Hey, cool,” I remarked enthusiastically, if a bit groggily.

“Cool,” agreed the doctor as he continued to move it around.

16

I had an IVP once so I understand the hunger aspect. It totally sucks. the worst part for me, though, was during the proceedure (At which point I hadn’t had anything to eat or drunk for a day and a half) the nurses were in the other room making popcorn. I could smell it from where my stariving body was lying. That was one of the worst things anyone has ever done to me. Bastards!

As for the Fleet Clense-The-Crap-From-Your-Body Laxitive, ** ThatGuyWithPants** suggested you play some upbeat music while gagging it down. This is actually a very good idea, I recommend “Eye of the Tiger.” Also, Stay away from the Lemon lime or cherry flavor, no good can come from Them. I actually couldn’t keep the lemon-lime down, and had to go through the proceedure without a complety clean system. I know I really have no experience of the actual test that you are about to have, but, good luck anyways.

17

Never had one, but watched several (and felt terribly sorry for the patients who had 10 eager medical students as audience while the gastroenterologist explored their insides…)

From what I saw, patients are sedated so they’re not actually asleep, but won’t remember anything afterwards. The doctor I saw was amazingly skilful, guiding the little probe around. And the view on the screen was way cool! Living tissue is so beautiful compared to the dead-for-years formalin-fixed-in-the-fridge stuff we usually have to deal with.

Best wishes, FairyChatMom, for a not-too-traumatic procedure, and a good outcome.

18

Best of luck with the procedure, FCM . My dad has undergone a couple of these, and the prep truly is the worst part. Afterward, he’s always pleasantly befuddled but not traumatized or anything. And hey, at least you got the “Fleets prep”. I used to prep hospitalized patients for colonoscopies, and the Fleets is infinitely preferable to the “Golytely prep”, which sounds like what ThatGuyWithPants had. The joke among the medical professionals is that you will NOT go lightly. . .

19

Many, many thanks for all the encouraging words. I appreciate those who restrained themselves from saying “It was OK till I felt the probe at the back of my throat…” Don’t tell me that didn’t occur to you. Have I ever mentioned that I’m a medical wimp? I turn my head when my blood is drawn. I couldn’t look at my shoulder after having a biopsy done. I didn’t look at the staples that held me together after my hysterectomy. I just don’t want to deal with it. Drug me till I’m recovered - that’s how it works best. I don’t want to see the probe. I don’t want to watch the video. I don’t want to be aware of anything. Drug me - better living thru chemistry!!!

So, just under two hours till my first dose. I had a nice breakfast and I’ve been drinking water ever since. I’m saving the Jell-O for post-dosage palate cleansing. I suggested to my loving family that since I have 3 fruit-flavored gelatin treats, I could mix them together and have fruit salad. Then mocked me. <sigh>

Dad and daughter have just left to go to a movie. No, I don’t mind at all… really. I’m guessing they’ll go out to eat afterwards - I hope so. I don’t need to be smelling food in the house. Just hope the doggies’ kibble doesn’t get too tempting.

It’ll all be over in 24 hours. Meanwhile, my water glass is almost empty. If you’ll excuse me… <sigh>

20

Congrats FCM! You are well on your way! Just a friendly reminder though, you cant drink or eat anything till after the procedure except for a glass of water if you absolutely have to. But you’ll do great. I’m praying for you cause I do know that it is anoying. Like I said before, the probe itself isnt bad. You’ll be off in LaLa land. If you do remeber anything, it will be bits and pieces. By the way, what flavor of this “Fleet” stuff do you have? I never remeber what it was called.

Heres another thing…If it gets tough tonight, you probobly wont remeber very much. That night for me kinda blended into a blip of a memory. You’ll do great, I know you will. Good luck and keep in touch!