"MAGNUM" sized condoms...

It would seem it’s just us. I’ve always thought that zugswang would be a better name.

My professional opinion is that you should go to a Dopefest. I think you’ll get a lot of attention from the ladies.

*Originally posted by Chekmate *

I’m not a professional, but I think you’d like a larger size. The larger ones seem to stretch to fit anything in the 8"-10" range…anything much over that and you’re back into the old-lady’s-knee-highs problem. (Not to mention that if you show something that huge to ME, I’ll get a stick and hold its head down, then look for a hoe to chop it off with. A snake, eeek!)

If your girlfriend is in the bed asking what you’re doing fiddling with the stupid thing, get her to put it on! Much more fun for both parties.

And yeah, a standard condom will not only fit over your arm, it’ll fit your foot, and if you put it over your head (get two people to stretch it, takes some patience) covering your nose but NOT your mouth, you can exhale through your nose and turn it into a groovy Marge Simpson-esque beehive, complete with receptacle tip. Much fun at parties. But I’ve never yet met a guy that could enjoy himself in bed if he wasn’t moderately comfortable down there, so if the condom doesn’t feel right, it may well be too small to fit over a winky whose person wants to feel enough sensation to have fun with it! In the opposite direction but still dealing with stretchy things, a woman’s vagina can hold a baby’s head, but that’s definitely not any fun at all, so why would anyone think a too-tight condom would be fun?


Well, I used regular ones for a while, but found that the ring was too tight. Now, with Magnums, it’s still a little tight, but they roll down easier. FTR- 7" long, 6" circumference.

I don’t have any real illusions about my size, but I guess I’m larger than average. All I really know is that where regular condoms felt tight and had a tendency to break, I am more comfortable in the magnum size and have yet to have a breakage. Granted, the lack of breakage doesn’t really tell anything- it may have more to do with my learning a little more about the fairer sex and that foreplay thing- but I’m not going to argue with results, especially when I get to feel cool for buying “magnums”.

P.O.U.S.s? I don’t believe they exist.
:wink: :smiley:

Course if magnums don’t fit you could always try a femendom
you can fit a 4 litre bottle of coke into that and still have room for nachos and popcorn , a Female comedian used to carry one on to the stage at the comedy lab. She used to unravel it and said , I dunna want a man unless he can fill this. Of which all the guys started looking to the grouns shuffling their feet

You, sir or madam, do not know of what you speak.
Magnums are essential to some of us. I do not attempt to brag, but I think I am greater in girth (not length) than average, and ordinary condoms hurt when I use them. Until Max and Magnums came along I thought there was something wrong with me.

I know that condoms stretch an awful lot, but that doesn’t mean you can wear and use them comfortably. Rubber gloves can be inflated to a huge size, too, but they make those in Small, Medium, and Large, because if you’ve got large hands and wear a Small glove your fingers will go numb. It doesn’t matter than the rubber can stretch. In practice, it constricts the flow of blood to your fingers too much. It’s worse when you constrict the flow of blood to other members.

As far as I’m concerned, condoms should be marketed by size – a good and comfortable fit is essential. There’s an obvious psychological problem with doing this, though. I’m glad that there are at least the two sizes available. It ain’t an advertising or marketing ploy.

My first boyfriend got us one of those grab-bags of condoms you used to be able to order from the back of Rolling Stone. He always seemed to be fine with whichever one he happened to pull out (we were pretty much the same dimensions), whereas I was the one who got stuck with the eenie weenie condom from hell. It felt like a tourniquet. Nothing quite like rolling it down and yelping in pain.

I don’t remember the brand, but the convenional wisdom is that Asian brands (such as Kimono) tend to be narrower.

Chekmate is not a brand known in the U.S. For us there’s Trojan, Durex (f/k/a Sheikh), Avanti, LifeStyles, and maybe Ramses (do they make those anymore?). Also Kimono, Silk, and a couple of others.

Magnums feel much better for me. My wife used to make fun of me for buying them, but they go on easier and I don’t feel like I have a rubber band around my weiner. Other condoms are just a little bit too tight at the base/ring.

I am so glad someone got that!

[Immediately, an P.O.U.S. attacks her]

As the respective condom marketing divisions finally catch up to the male ego, it’s certain that a recalibrated sizes will be introduced.

Moving up the, um, pecking order from “Magnum,” we have: Jumbo, Huge, Beast, Mr. Ed, Rhino, Bull Elephant, Mr. Ed’s Very Popular Brother, MegaBeast, Damn!!, and finally, O Sweet Mystery of Life I Have Found You!

That’s gotta be the best sig material I’ve seen in a looooong time…

Magnums- All others lend new meaning to the term “Choking the chicken”.

[hijack] My god, I have found my permanent residence on the internet. Who would have thought there are so many Princess Bride dopers?[/hijack]

Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons!

~And I know I wasn’t right, but it felt so good -Better Than Ezra

I don’t care what any of you freaks-of-nature say.
I still prefer to believe it’s just a marketing gimmick.

Some people say that about SUVs (Somewhat Underdeveloped Vectors).

It’s amazing how all the Dopers have 6+ inch penises, when the average is well in the 5-5.9 range.

Ok, this is me getting all pedantic, so hide the children…

I think that part of the reason we have so many people in the nether regions of the bell curve is that guys tend to overestimate their, shall we say, gifts.

I mean, everybody knows that penes are measured along the top for medical studies, but from the bottom when you do it yourself. Don’t believe me, which gives a bigger number? That’s what I thought.

As for me, I just wake up in the morning, throw it over my shoulder, and go about my business. :wink:


I prefer to wrap it around my thigh myself…

Also, the guys with smaller penii aren’t even reading this thread. “Magnum condoms? Never heard of 'em! I’d like a box of condoms please. Uh, no smaller, no smaller, smaller, nope smaller. Do you have a smaller size than these, uh, super thimbles?”

FTR, I can’t address the issue, cause I’ve never worn a condom. :smiley:

If I did though, I’d need Extra Medium