Don’t open Michael’s tin. Maybe the New Year’s baby will bring you a tin of your very own. 
I resisted temptation and got them in the mail unscathed. It wasn’t easy, but moving them to a different location whilst waiting to get them to the PO helped. I took them to my dad’s place, packed them up and told him not to let me NEAR them. Being the good dad that he is, he took them to the PO the next day and sent them off. So that when I came charging through the door the next evening, making a bee-line for the box, he said “Heh…too late. I mailed them for you today.”
Sheesh…and I love that dad-of-mine …usually 
[sub]AND…I would have gotten AWAY with it, too…if it wasn’t for those meddling…DAD! :)[/sub]
Well, Shirley Ujest, maybe your link explains why Honey’s attracted to Bubba. I don’t know. Perhaps in combination with bee-stings in the appropriate location there are remarkable results? :eek:
As to the question of how far their relationship advanced, I’m not sure. Bubba went into some detail about starting to give her English lessons by pointing and saying “nose”, “mouth”, “ear” etc. But he said that later she surprised him by saying: “Too soon, Bubba” a phrase he certainly hadn’t taught to her. Who knows?
My tin of delights from Scotti arrived unopened and thus unmolested. Thanks mostly to Dad, methinks.
Update of the day: Bubba is in the process of purchasing a computer to send to Honey so they can e-mail each other. This information gave me pause, because Bubba doesn’t have a computer himself. He says he thinks his brother and sister in law will let him use theirs to chat with her. Anyways, Bubba doesn’t want his own computer now. His telephone has been disconnected for delinquent payments, and he can’t afford to buy Honey a 'puter and pay his phone bill too. The 'puter for Honey wins! Ain’t young love grand?
Of course, if Honey’s so poor she can’t afford more than two sets of clothing, how could she afford internet access?
The mind boggles.
Backing up a bit …
Amanita wrote:
Just wanted to give you the props you deserve for this sly pun. Hilarious! 
Moving forward. This situation reminds me uncomfortably of an episode of Law & Order, where a Russian bride is brought over by a guy, later reveals she has a young son back home, the hubby refuses to bring the kid over, and she kills him.
Okay, admittedly that’s a rather dire, worst-case-scenario type of possibility. I do hope for the best for the two of them. Bubba and Honey deserve happiness.
And John Carter of Mars, congrats for getting your money back! Reading this thread, I never expected that you’d have a happy ending on that score. Kudos! You seem like a nice guy too, considering your willingness to co-sign a loan for a neighbor. Glad that your good nature and generosity weren’t taken advantage of. (Except for being the target of Bubba’s sin of omission, i.e. his not telling you the real purpose of the loan.)
Funny, I just saw that episode the other day and started thinking of this thread…
are there any updates? busybodies everywhere need to know! ^^’
Wonder what body part he pointed to right before she said that?
I think the link is back again. There may be some pertinant letters in the forums.
Far be it from me to keep inquiring minds in suspense. It is, however, becoming a tribulation to access the SDMB at all, let alone open a thread or post a reply. Give the hamPsters some vitamins, Unca Cecil!
Bubba dropped the idea of sending a computer to Honey. They’d been e-mailing back and forth from Bubba’s brother’s house and Honey’s workplace.
According to the Sister-In –Law, Bubba was showing up every day about five O’clock in the afternoon. He’d first walk through her kitchen, lifting the tops off of pots and pans to check on what’s for dinner. Then he’d print out Honey’s e-mails. Then he’d help himself to dinner. SIL: “No need to worry about dealing with leftovers when Bubba’s here.”
Then he’d go type some e-mails to Honey and leave for the evening. After several weeks of this, SIL got tired of it, and had Bubba’s brother tell him he was Persona non gratis. So Bubba and Honey are back to communicating via snail-mail.
But not to fear, there are developments:
When Bubba goes back to Kiev to pick Honey up in June, he’ll also be bringing Honey’s 20 year-old sister back with him. And the sister’s 4 year-old daughter. (I still think that child may be Honey’s, but whatever.) And that’s not all! (Sound like an infomercial salesman, don’t I?)
Honey has this 63 year-old uncle who has “lots of experience” working with bees, so he’s coming too.
Bubba thinks Sis can get a student visa; the little girl can come here because her mom is coming, and Uncle can come on a work visa because Bubba’s guaranteeing him a job working with the bees. I don’t know anything about the legalities of all that.
The obvious question is this: If after the 90 day trial period, Bubba and Honey aren’t getting along, what then? What happens to the Kiev chapter of the Jobe family?
According to Brenda Jean, Donald had the ill-grace to ask Bubba this question up at Old Man Clanton’s store the other day. Bubba got mad and said there was “no way” they weren’t going to be compatible. When Donald persisted with a “what if” scenario, Bubba got furious and told Donald he’d quit buying his firewood from Donald and would buy it from Finley instead. So Donald says he doesn’t much care, since Bubba hasn’t paid for the last two loads Donald delivered to him anyway.
Brenda Jean says they were “fixin’ to tie up and have a really cool fight”, but Old Man Clanton pulled his shotgun out from under the cash register and said he wasn’t havin’ no fightin’ in his store or out front by the gas pump either, so Bubba jumped in his truck and left.
Meanwhile, Bubba’s got a whole bunch of upgrading to do on that old farmhouse behind the honey building if he’s going to get it in shape for human occupation. Otherwise, they’ll all have to cram into Bubba’s two-room apartment type place he lives in inside the honey processing building.
By Duke: “Wonder what body part he pointed to right before she said that?” OH! Somehow, that’s…just…WRONG!
Now you’re all updated! Yea!
Admit it, you made all that up. I’m all for a good story, but you’re going too far.
Old Man Clanton, indeed. 
By Wikkit: "Admit it, you made all that up. I’m all for a good story, but you’re going too far.
Old Man Clanton, indeed. "
No, I didn’t make it up. I’ve made nothing in this whole thread up. I don’t think Brenda Jean made it up either, 'cause she works in Old Man Clanton’s store sometimes, and besides Donald is her brother.
We have two stores within reasonable distance of here. There’s Old Man Clanton’s store or Old Man Heyward’s store. Chevron gas=Clanton’s, Texaco gas=Heywards. Choose your fuel, but I wouldn’t recommend the balogna slices or mouldy cheese in either place. :eek:
Thanks for the update - I’ve been wondering whats happening!! I guess, what with the family now coming along for the ride, one way or another there’s bound to be fireworks of some kind…
I suggest Bubba get himself to a competent immigration lawyer, pronto. It’s going to be an uphill battle for Sis to get a student visa, because in order to do so, once she is admitted to a school that is authorized to issue documents for student visas, she has to show to the satisfaction of a U.S. consular officer that she intends to return to her country of origin once she finishes her degree. As a young, single person from a country in Ukraine’s current condition, this could be a stretch.
As for Uncle, it takes more than a guaranteed job offer to qualify for a work visa. The main category which sounds like it would be halfway sensible, the H-1B, requires 2 main things: 1) that the job require a bachelor’s degree or equivalent in a particular field, and b) that the applicant possess the required degree and/or experience. Smaller companies are scrutinized very thoroughly, and Bubba, as a one-man operation, certainly qualifies. They can ask for other proof that the position actually exists, such as Bubba’s financials for the business (to show that he can actually pay Uncle), payroll and incorporation documents, and everything but the kitchen sink. And this is just the sort of case that would raise red flags, particularly if Bubba hasn’t formally employed anyone before.
Eva Luna, Immigration Paralegal
Shirley, you BITCH! You LITERALLY nearly got me hospitalized for that!
I’m sittin’ here, pretending to work, and pop by that site. I start laughing, see the potential problems of me laughing too hard, and close the window. Too late! Next thing I know, I’m leaning back in my chair, my head twitching, and a guy is asking if I’m alright. If I had continued not responding he was going to call the paramedics.
Now I have to add reading links you post to the list of things I can’t do, like listening to funny stuff while I drive. Big effing thanks.
“You feeling okay?”
“Yeah. After them I usually feel real mellow.”
“So you’re not going to be foul tempered for a change?”
Eva, I get the impression that folks in John and Bubba’s neck of the (back)woods don’t get overly concerned about those niceties. I suspect that guys from Immigration are about as welcome as Revenuers once you get off the paved roads and that they already have a deal set up with the local chicken processing plant.
Maybe so, but first the guy has to get here. And unless he plans to lie and get a tourist visa (no easy trick for a poor Ukrainian) or sneak over the border from Mexico (not so simple logistically, either), he’s going to need a work visa. They don’t give work visas at all these days for unskilled jobs; that was my only point.
Thanks for the information, Eva Luna. I’ll pass it along. I strongly suspect that Bubba and Honey haven’t really looked into the difficulties involved . I think that so far, it’s all in their pipe dreams.
Unless the company that originally matched the happy couple can make all the arrangements to get the others over here, it probably won’t happen.
I’ll just second Eva Luna’s concerns, from a layperson’s standpoint. I have a lot of Slovak connections. Slovakia is just west of the Ukraine, and not as much of a basket case but not exactly paradise. My Slovak friends and relatives are all convinced that I can easily get them a visa, because I am an American citizen. Unfortunately, one thing that living in the Communist/post-Communist world did was convince them that papers are needed for everything, but that any papers can be acquired through forgery/bribery without any trouble at all. They simply do not understand the reality of what is required to get any kind of visa.
I once accompanied a Slovak cousin to the US. Even though she had a visa, because she was young, single and unemployed, she was nearly turned back at the Amsterdam airport.
Another Slovak friend is also young and single. She attended college in Iowa, and received a full scholarship for a PhD from the University of Minnesota. She has to go back to Slovakia every summer and reapply for a visa. Every year, the American embassy grills her about her plans to return permanently to Slovakia, whether she has a boyfriend here, and makes it very clear that getting an extension is not a given, just because she is a stellar student with great references.
The Slovaks I know also believe that working in the US is easy, and that as soon as they get here, however illegally, they can find a great paying professional job, based on their Slovak credentials. I can’t convince them that the credentials won’t necessarily be accepted, or that they need the right kind of visa in order to work. They literally have no frame of reference for understanding our system. I have no doubt that Honey and her uncle, and indeed, her entire family, are sure that everything is smooth sailing from here on.
I also know, from experience, that the INS (or whatever they are calling themselves now) are NOT friendly, have no sense of humor, and will do whatever it takes to keep as many people as possible out of this country. But that’s another rant.
HOLY SHIT!!! Is that site for REAL?