Lonely and bitter is right. And probably just intelligent enough to know his limitations, which is arguably worse than being oblivious of them.
Suddenly Bubba goes from being a naive, lovesick blubberbutt to a sadistic, bitter jackass.
I’m glad Honey and her family came to their senses.
Is it just me, or is Bubba in need of some serious therapy? This thing with the mail-order bride and the cats - I don’t mean a shrink, but isn’t there some sort of community group that could help him? Counseling through his church, maybe? This really doesn’t sound like a mentally healthy fellow.
And so the saga comes to a sad end. I have to admit I do feel bad for Bubba (though maybe not as bad as I’d have felt for Honey if she’d come over here). Everybody wants to be loved, and some people just aren’t very good at asking for it, I suppose.
I was thinking about this thread just this weekend, when I found out that a friend, whom I’ve known for about ten years, is at this very moment in Dakar, Senegal, picking up his very own mail-order bride. He told a bunch of us, utterly out of the blue, in a mass e-mail that included a photo of him and his “African Queen” (yes, he said that). So far the most common question floating around our social circle seems to be, “What the fucking FUCK?”
Well, not to be laxidasical here about killing cats, but as long as he didn’t use any excessive cruelty in putting this cat down compared to how we slaughter cows/pigs/chickens/buffalo/lama/ostrich/trout/sea bass/salmon/Endangered East-Asian Red-Breasted Crowned Harris Crane (damn, did I say that one out loud?), then I guess I cannot hold any particular anger against him for killing it…
But still, wierd as hell.
This is, by far, one of the most bizarre stories that I have ever heard in my entire life.
By Eva Luna: "A bit of linguistic insight: I suspect the word which Honey’s uncle was using for “inconvenient” was neudobno. The same word also means “uncomfortable” or “awkward.”
That seems very likely. Awkward and/or uncomfortable would definitely describe the situation had she agreed to meet Bubba again!
liirogue: A quart of Bubba’s finest (bottled) honey to you if he winds up with an Asian bride.
haj! That was wicked!
Shodan: Write the song. Somebody will sing it.
To Mr. Excellent and the others who are disturbed that Bubba’s shooting of the cat is an indication of serious mental problems:
I have to say that I myself am alarmed about the cat incident. It’s a side of Bubba I’ve never seen before. I’m not any sort of analyst, but there’s something about that that “ain’t right”. I now think it’s a good thing that Honey backed out of this. I just wish she had done it early on, instead of dragging it out for many months and many dollars. But that may have been her plan all along. At this point, who could tell what her motives were?
I don’t think there’s any way that Bubba could be persuaded to attend counseling, even if someone else made all the arrangements for him. To suggest such a thing would just insult him.
jackelope: Hope your friend has more luck with his African Queen than Bubba had with the Princess of the Ukraine. I used to think people that meet dates on-line were weird! What’s with this overseas, no romance spouse acquisition program? Don’t these people know what bars are for? Sheesh!
threemae: I’ll agree with bizarre. Thing is, until the mail order bride thing came up, I never thought much about Bubba one way or the other. He was just another guy tryin’ to scrape by out here on the lunatic fringe of civilization. Then it all came together, and close examination of the whole picture screams, well, bizarre.
For general information, I live 2 miles from a neighbor or a paved road. Bubba is close to a paved road, but has no neighbors within a mile or so and that’s fairly typical for right around here. Please don’t think this particular backwash and the inhabitants thereof are typical of Alabama. Places like Birmingham and Montgomery have stop-lights and McDonald’s and lots of other modern stuff. 
I still had hope that they’d prove us all wrong and live happily ever after. Now I just feel all empty inside.
Although I too am disturbed by the cat incident, it makes me remember what we observed much earlier on in this thread . . .
. . . this would make a hell of a Coen Brothers movie script. Does anyone know their agent’s number?
I got this in my personals responses today… and I thought of this thread…
I’m thinking straight spam is more likely than a an acutally russian bride trying to hook up with me. I really can’t imagine a hot russian lady deciding I was a real likely candidate… my personals profile is pretty direct about my being seperated and looking for fun/friends/friends with benefits rather than looking for a LTR.
Watch out, dublos, Honey’s on the prowl again.
JCOM, I just wanted to let you know that I have really enjoyed the whole sordid affair. Please keep us informed if Bubba becomes a psycho or “overmedicates” himself with bee stings.
As soon as I read that, I felt like throwing up-I actually feel better for Honey now knowing she’s NOT marrying this guy. She’s much better off-if the guy takes his frustrations out on poor defenseless cats…
It was one thing if the cat had been hit but not all the way dead, but wtf?
Can he be charged with animal cruelty for that?
I’m sorry to hear Bubba’s love life has come to such an abrupt and anti-climactic ending, but I’m more sorry about the cat.
(I’m also sorry to hijack the thread, but I noticed a misspelling in John Carter of Mars’ sig line, and figured I should be the one to point it out. The title of the book by Randy Wayne White is Sanibel Flats. I should know. Did you like the book? Tomlinson’s a great character and I’m a fan of the Florida mystery genre, although Carl Hiaasen is probably my favorite author. Randy Wayne White is a good novelist, but a really kooky guy.)
SanibelMan: Thanks for the heads up on the sig mis-spell. I can’t believe I did that! May you find the below sig more to your liking. Randy Wayne White is fun, but Hiaasen is the best of that particular genre, IMHO.
While we’re on the subject of sigs: By jackelope: “Everybody wants to be loved, and some people just aren’t very good at asking for it, I suppose.” There’s you a REAL sig line, man!
Guin: Nobody’s going to be willing to do anything about a guy shooting his own cat. If he were torturing animals, then yes, but one isolated incident of quickly killing an animal isn’t something that’s a criminal offense. Maybe it should be this time, taken in context, but it’s not.
After more reflection: Bubba’s remark that he shot the cat because that cat would be lonely after the others had been killed by the truck puzzles me. Could his own lonliness hurt so much that he considered killing the “lonely” cat to be an act of kindness? Any people with experience with this sort of thing have any thoughts?
Let’s see…
He’s just had a romantic disappointment.
He’s lost an un-disclosed amount of money.
He’s lost two pets in an accident.
He was afraid the last cat would get lonely.
Is there a tactful way of asking Bubba if he’s feeling very depressed? What if he’s planning on doing something to himself and he decided to put the cat out of its misery first? Usually, a warning sign is people giving away their possessions and pets, but killing the cat claiming it’ll be lonely should certainly raise warning flags. Is it really going to be lonely because it won’t have the other cats around? Or was it going to be lonely because he isn’t going to be around?
Wow. I can’t believe I missed this thread until now.
Thanks, JCoM, for sharing the craziness.
I agree. Just out of curiosity: How did you come across Randy Wayne White? I’ve always thought of him as a local (SW Florida) author. Does he have a following elsewhere? Or did you pick the book up on a visit to Lee County?
(An interesting tidbit: Tarpon Bay, where Doc Ford lives in the books, doesn’t have a marina. The bay is maybe a foot deep. There’s a tourist shop and kayak rental place at the end of Tarpon Bay Road, but no houses, houseboats or bars. Most of the restaurants that he goes to, though, either are real or were at one point.)
Bwahahahaha!
I made it thru the entire thread all composed and such, but that just slayed me!
what happened with the cats are really jarring, still i hope that Newman will find something nice to look forward to. it cannot be fun being him right now…
thanks for the story John Carter of Mars.
I can’t believe I skipped reading this thread for so long. I’s not every day one comes across a real-life tragi-comedy story like this. If only I’d checked it out earlier, I could have gotten dibs on the screen rights! Jon Carter of Mars, if you have any interest in writing (and your posts certainly show talent) you should seriously consider making a short story or even a novel out of this.
But more immediately, I think the posters who were concerned about Bubba’s state of mind were right on. I’m sure he’s very depressed right now, and possibly suicidal. Bubba doesn’t sound like a prize stud by any means, but the guy’s been taken for a lot of money and is probably heartbroken to boot. I hope he’ll be okay.
Thanks for the kudos, John Carter of Mars; anyone’s welcome to the line for a sig if they want. Some recent developments in my life have brought home to me just how strongly people want to be loved, and the wild and inscrutable ways they express that.
That was my first thought: “This is so Flannery O’Connor!”
Yeah, sounds like Bubba’s feeling mighty sympathetic to the loneliness of others at this point; it’s not surprising, given all that’s happened lately. I don’t know Bubba’s romantic past, but you may find that you’ll see some changes in him after all this blows over a bit.
Until then, I’d keep an eye on him but not worry too much; Jim Beam and Roy Orbison have always carried me through those ugly episodes.