FWIW In order to secure the fiancee visa, I believe some pics are required to prove that Bubba and the intended have indeed met and spent time together. So you just can’t sit at home and order a bride to be delivered, you have to go meet her in person at least once and get an order of bride to go.
JCOM you really need to write this all down and put it into a book format. I’m thinking Garrison Keillor/Dave Barry mix.
Potential book title: Bubba’s Honey.
When you make it to Oprah’s book club list, mention my name.
(Thanks for the update. Now I can resume my regularly scheduled Mundania.)
Let me second what Eva Luna said. I knew a Unkrainian in Montreal who was a successful psychiatrist there; after emmigrating, he couldn’t get recertified to save his life, and was working as a janitor.
I just read this whole thread. I love John Carter of Mars’ story, and I agree that it would make a wonderful book or film. And the back-and-forth conversation is very interesting as well. I’ve never felt so good from reading a Pit thread!
I too am both astonished and pleased that John Carter got repaid.
I just haven’t been able to wrap my brain around the idea of a Ukrainian doctor giving up a life devoted to medicine to become a gold-sluicing beekeeper’s trophy wife. Especially one who stings himself recreationally.
Of course, maybe in twenty years Bubba’s Bee Venom could be a multi-billion dollar conglomerate, run by a mysterious and gorgeous Slavic beauty…
Regards,
Shodan
Let me be the third to point out a doc from another country probably won’t be any good in NA, at least for a long time.
My GF’s father was a very highly regarded neural doctor in his home country (Bulgaria) and had licenses to practise in Spain and the UK (I believe) but couldn’t get a license in Canada. He moved to a small tropical island to continue to practice until his death.
My GF also works for a Ukranian ex-doctor whom is working in an physiotherapy office because she couldn’t get recertified in Canada. It seems it’s easier to learn to be a doc here than to be one from another country and get retrained.
OK: If I see Bubba again before he departs, I’ll inform him of the problems with importing an M.D. However, I suspect that when it’s all said and done, three factors, and three only, will influence Bubba’s choice of a bride.
- Physical appearance. He wants HOT.
- Her ability to communicate in English. More is better!
- She must at least express some interest in having children. Bubba’s 40th birthday was last month, and he: “Wants some little Bubba’s around”. (Perish the thought, but….)
Once, long ago, the dude was married. Got him a California girl, he did. After a few months the bride’s father came here from California, took his Darlin’ Daughter home, and had the marriage annulled. Something to do with her having to work in the bee yard all day, work in a nursing home at night, and Bubba refusing to let her drive a vehicle. This policy forced her to walk two miles each way from home to work and back. At night. In the dead of winter. Believe me, it’s a long story.
As far as a book goes, those of you who’ve read the whole thread may have noticed that I gave film rights to Jackelope. The deal is, Jackelope keeps the first two million of movie profits. Then with the third million he’s gonna’ buy a big honkin’ Cray computer. We’re gonna’ hot-wire it into the SDMB and frustrations at the board’s sloth will be but a distant memory.
If the Russia deal falls through there may be another option. I think I saw a poster here on the SDMB with the user name of Beegirl. Anybody else see that? It must be some variation, because a search came up negative. But then I ain’t the world’s most skillful searcher and this dial-up modem is slow. Maybe we can have another one of them-there matches made in heaven that started right here on the boards?
Tell us the story!
They are in the sense I was using. 
While I recall being granted rights, I don’t recall making said promise. I’ve got an old Vic-20 you might could hook up. Heck, I’ll throw in the added computing power of an old remote control that I lost the TV to, though. Would that help?
Ask him what agency he is going through?
On the Bubbalette thing…
A few years ago, when I had the spare time, I loved having international e-penpals. I signed up for an online service that matched me to several folks, and began receiving emails.
Generally, the Asian and European penpals were the best. I had a great Canadien male penpal for a long time, and French, Japanese, Indian, and Spanish ones. Generally things were great – no romance, just friendship.
Then I got a Persian penpal who started asking very personal questions. I dropped him like a bad habit. Then there was the Sierra Leonian guy who asked me to marry him within five emails. That freaked me out and I blocked him immediately. The thing was, neither of these guys had ever seen a bare inch of my body, never seen a picture, barely knew me, didn’t even know my real name… and yet they had designs on me that were not at all innocent. I’m pretty sure they were thinking: Rich American girl = Green card. Yuck. I’m still leary of Persian and African penpals for that reason, but I’m sure they’re men of their ilk in every nation.
So how rich are you? Feel free to reply via email. 
I was at dinner this evening with a (non-Russian, non-mail-order) lady friend of mine, and I saw “honey-glazed [somethingorother]” on the menu, and the mention of honey brought this thread immediately to mind. I’ve been thinking about it all night, and I’ve got to know:
Is Bubba back yet? When does he come back? Have you heard from him/seen him/learned anything about his new bride, if any?
Update:
I didn’t catch up with Bubba, but he’s indeed gone to Russia. Took off from the Atlanta airport on Nov. 26th, bound for Vienna, thence on to Kiev.
According to Old Man Heywood at the Country Store, Bubba’s bought himself a new truck. A big honkin’ Ford F-350 with a flatbed for haulin’ bee hives around. He kept the vanity license tag that reads: “Kingbee”. Bubba stopped at the store and had Heywood take some Polaroid pictures of him standin’ beside his new truck. The better to impress a Nice Young Russian Lady with his prospects, I presume.
Bubba paid Old Man Heywood’s son to drive him to Atlanta. Bubba didn’t want to leave his new truck at risk in the Atlanta airport parking lot for two weeks. If you can figure out why Bubba thinks his new truck will be safer in the front yard of his vacant house instead of behind the chain link fence and under the observation of security guards at the airport parking lot, you may be starting to get a handle on things.
More news as it breaks…
Ah, the return of the “Sour Milk and Honey Bride” thread.
Or is this the “Sour Bride and Honey” thread? My mind keeps getting confused.
Or, as it was called in medieval times, Droit de Co-Seigneur.
Update, as promised:
Bubba’s back from Kiev. The Russian Conquest appears to have been a success. For those whose curiosity just won’t wait, here’s a link to pictures. Wholesome, work-safe and kiddie safe pics, no kiddin’. And for those concerned about such things, Bubba’s been informed that his pictures are going on the internet, where they can be viewed by Teeming Millions. He’s quite pleased that it’s so. If you’re not familiar with o-photo, a screen will come up asking for sign-in information. Ignore the sign-in and click on “View Photos”. On the next screen you can click on “Slideshow”. You’ll then have the option to view as a slideshow, or keep clicking on “next” to view at your own speed. Enjoy!
Here’s how it worked out: Bubba went as part of a group of 22 men from the U.S. and South America. This was technically termed a Tour. Once in Kiev, they were assigned to a group of interpreters. The men went with their interpreters to a “social” every morning. There were between 60 and 70 available women in attendance at each of these socials.
At the social, the men wander about inspecting the women and tell an interpreter if they see someone they’d like to meet. Introductions are made, and things progress slowly, as should be expected with a language barrier.
If the man is still interested after this introductory period, he asks the woman out to dinner, and an interpreter accompanies them on their dinner date. If the interest is still there from both parties, they’ll go wander around town and see the sights the next day. Whether the interpreter accompanies them on this tour is optional, depending on the wishes of the couple. If all is still a go after their day on the town, they’ll start going out together in the evenings as well.
Bubba met two women first and took one to dinner. Then, on the third morning, he met “Honey”. Says Bubba: “There was a spark!”
They hung around Kiev for a couple of days and nights, then took a seven hour bus ride to Honey’s home, south of Kiev, where Bubba met her family. The family approved, and upon their return to Kiev, Bubba formally proposed marriage. Honey accepted and they “Lit the Candles”. I’m not certain if the candle lighting ceremony is religious or secular, but at any rate the ceremony is of some significance in that part of Russia.
Future plans:
The events of 9/11/01 have slowed down the process. Bubba and Honey must wait six months before she can come over here. In the meantime, Bubba is to send her a small amount of money monthly to pay for English lessons.
Bubba plans to make two or three more trips over there in the interim, if he can find the money somewhere. I don’t see how he’ll afford that.
After the six months is up, Bubba’s supposed to go back over there and bring her to the U.S. with him. She stays here for 90 days. If both parties are satisfied with the situation after those 90 days, they will get married here. If not, Bubba is responsible for her transportation back to Russia.
Other information:
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Our boy believes the following to be true: Honey is 25 years old, never married, and has no children. She is a secretary and is studying law part time. She hopes to complete her studies and get a law degree in the U.S.
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They have settled on having three children. They reached this decision with the aid of an interpreter.
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The name of the company that handled all these arrangements is European Connections.
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Of the 22 men who went on this tour, 12 “Lit the Candles” and are expecting to get married to someone they met over there.
Amusing sidebars:
Bubba actually got down on one knee to propose marriage, but had to do this with the aid of an interpreter! Weird scene, that must have been.
Bubba failed the metal detector test in the Vienna airport and they made him take off his belt. He had already popped the button on his slacks, which then fell down to his ankles and left him stranding there in his Fruit of the Looms. Ewww!
After the allotted time for the visit was up, Bubba decided he wasn’t ready to come home. He called his mom and asked her to wire some money to him, which she refused to do. In the meantime, the Russian authorities stepped in and declared that he came with a tour and if he didn’t leave with that tour, he’d be in a Russian jail. He changed his mind and came home on schedule.
There’s no need to worry about the future! Bubba’s mom has consulted her astrology books or charts or whatever it is such people consult and has decreed Bubba and Honey to be a “Perfect Match”. :rolleyes:
My Thoughts:
OK, at first, (after I got my money back, that is) I thought this was all extremely funny. I doubted that Bubba would actually get to Russia, and certainly didn’t expect him to meet Ms. Right over there. Now, it’s not so funny.
I fear this will end badly. Not necessarily now, but two or three years down the road. Bubba is a sad, lonesome man. I know that it’s been at least 15 years since he’s had a girlfriend of any significance. He’s fallen head over heels in love with Honey, and envisions a lifetime of them being husband and wife, raising a family, and all that sort of thing.
He’s asked no critical questions, investigated nothing about her, and indeed has only known her over a few day’s visit and that was with a complete language barrier.
Who is the little girl in the family picture? Bubba doesn’t know. Seems much more likely to me that she’s Honey’s daughter rather than being a younger sister or cousin. Not that there would be anything wrong with Honey already having a child, but if she does, that fact should have been made plain from the start.
Judging from what’s been said by knowledgeable posters in this thread, Honey is stuck in one helluva situation over there. She’ll do whatever is necessary to forge a better life for herself, and it’s hard to fault her for that. If forging a better life requires accepting a proposal of marriage from someone she hardly knows and toughing it out for a year or two until her feet are on the ground over here, so be it.
On Bubba’s part, I don’t think he’s been entirely honest with her and her family about his financial situation
He showed them many pictures of his farm, his honey house and facilities, his new truck and all such as that. Knowing him as I do, I doubt that he mentioned that everything he owns is mortgaged, pledged, and otherwise hocked up to its limits.
If anybody sees anything other than a train wreck at the end of this deal, please post your thoughts!
I can’t imagine how desparate one would have to be to agree to marry a complete stranger-especially by becoming a “mail-order bride.”
shaking head sadly
Oh my gosh… I didn’t think it would happen, but it did…
She’ll probably leave him in 2 years, once the probation period for their marriage (as far as INS is considered) is up and she’s eligible for permanent residency.
And that little girl very well could be her daughter… He definitely should have invested in an interpreter that was not tied to the tour. That interpreter may have been giving not-so-true information during the translation.