Whatever method you end up going for, try to see that it’s something that “fits” you, and fits the people you’re expecting to some extent as well.
Thanksgiving dinner in the US seems to me to have two major themes: 1. Family Discord Mode seems to be switched on, in families that have ever activated that mode in the past; 2. Inflated expectations, including you having inflated expectations of yourself.
My own opinion/preference: I’m not a fan of “traditional done in a new way”. I favour either straight-up traditional done in a straight-up traditional way, or else “Different with a capital D”.
Our family never seemed to do the discord thing - until about 15 years ago, mom did all the cooking with various people working for her peeling or prepping stuff. After some 50 odd years of making Thanksgiving dinner, she had the timing down to a T. mrAru and I took over about 1 years ago, and we made her menu and used her timing, and it worked. As she went gaga with Alzheimers we changed the menu slightly, omitting the green bean glop for chinese style fried green beans with garlic, went to a 50/50 white potato/sweet potato mash, and made dressing instead of stuffing. Last year and the year before we did the 1700 Thanksgiving menufrom Townsend’s youtube channel and it was yummy.
Both of these. And get the family to bring some of the sides.
We, too, discovered that turkey is moister and better if it rests for a couple of hours. And we, too, discovered that because a relative came really late. We didn’t even have a cooler, we just left it sitting in the kitchen. If you leave a thermometer in it, you will notice that it stays warm for an awfully long time. If you want to keep if warm for 5 or 6 hours, use a cooler, but for one or two hours, it’s not really needed, just leave it in a warm spot in the kitchen and the interior will stay above 140F.
We do the pies the day before, do the turkey, stuffing, gravy, and mashed potatoes the day of, and get relatives to bring most of the rest of the food.
My extended family has done a potluck Thanksgiving for as long as the original children were adults and had their own kitchens (about 40 years now). Easiest if the person hosting it does the ham or turkey. Everyone does ONE dish. Since the women usually cook, the men traditionally wash up and put the extra chairs back in storage etc. Usually about two dozen people.
Thanksgiving has got to be the easiest big meal ever invented – all the dishes are incredibly simple, even the pies.
But then I thought more about it. Traditional Thanksgiving sides and fried chicken? It quite frankly sounds amazing. You should do it.
I’ve always been of the opinion that the turkey is the least exciting part of the meal. It’s also the single most intensive dish in terms of oven space, prep time, and cook time.
I don’t consider the turkey to be the main problem with Thanksgiving dinner. You spend some time prepping it and putting it in the oven, then do practically nothing for 4 hours. It’s hardly more difficult than roasting a chicken.
The problem, as I see it, is three fold. First, you’re making 5-6 side dishes to go along with it. Mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy, carrots, green beans, rolls, the list goes on.
Second, you’re making all of it for 3-5x as many people as you usually do, plus leftovers. If it normally takes you 5 minutes to rinse, peel and cut potatoes for Mashed, it now takes 15+ minutes, that stuff adds up.
Third, you’re making special versions of everything, no Stove Top stuffing today, you’re cutting up an artisan loaf of bread, you’re snipping the ends off 300 fresh green beans, making 2 versions of cranberry sauce, and making a sweet potato recipe with 10 ingredients that you keep having to check, because you only make it once a year.
Make it a pot luck. You do the meat and potatoes; they bring everything else. Why bust your ass and spend all of your money for people you don’t really give a fig about? And even if you do like them, potluck style still works. Everyone contributes. Most family gatherings I’ve been to over the span of my life have been pot-luck style, with the exception of when literally all of my family lived hours away. Even then, they brought cookies that traveled well or bought ingredients for a few dishes and made them in my kitchen the night before.
It used to be that you had to pay someone to haul away used cooking oil. Those days are gone. Enough people are using the stuff for fuel that you should at least be able to find someone to take it off your hands for free, and possibly even pay you for it.
Second (or third) the Honey Baked Ham. It’s always a hit.
I also rely heavily on side items like frozen biscuits. They turn out great and you can use the extras after the meal (or over the next few days) for ham biscuits. I get a variety of salads from a (decent) local market and I’m pretty much ready to go.
This is my experience, too. The turkey is easy. Certainly not much effort per calorie that will be consumed. But this is one of two times each year that i make gravy, and there are only two days wheni might prepare more dishes than i do for Thanksgiving. (The Passover Seder and new year’s Eve.)
The one and only time I’ve ever prepared a Thanksgiving meal, we had the side dishes and skipped the turkey entirely. I’m vegetarian and my husband doesn’t much care for turkey, so everyone was fine with that.
If I were hosting these days, I’d bake a few pies (pumpkin, apple, pecan, chocolate cream) and then just order pizza. This is probably why I’m not hosting.
But this is one of two times each year that i make gravy, and there are only two days wheni might prepare more dishes than i do for Thanksgiving. (The Passover Seder and new year’s Eve.)