OK, im going to go ahead and say it up front. This thread is about testicles, if you dont want to read about testicles then stop now.
For anyone mature (or immature) enough to have read this far…i have a question. Have you ever looked intently at your testicles for any amount of time? They move! And not just a pulse or a breathing-induced movement. They seem to have a definate, ‘tidal-like’ movement, slow as it may be. Or at least mine do. Am i totally fucked up or has anyone else noticed this? What is it?
Nope, that’s normal. Watched it plenty of times myself. It’s really weird the first time you see it, sort of like there are these alien creatures slowly shifing position. WAG - something to do with temperature regulation?
here’s a test
drive along an interstate, at least 16 mph faster then the speed limit and faster then anyone else.
once you pass a speedtrap, you should feel your balls getting sucked into you body.
Temperature regulation it is (assuming you’re not screaming past a speedtrap–see above)
Testes, ummmmm, “work” best at slightly below body temperature. So if you’re really hot, ( no snide comments) they descend to cool off and if you’re really cold, they snuggle up to stay warm. This phenomenon has led to the horrible experience of “shrinkage” after swimming in cold water and the myth that a session in a hot tub is an effective birth control method. (They get too hot and it kills the sperm. Right.)
It is an interesting way to start or finish a conversation: “Honey, wanna watch my balls move?”
I’ve watched it a few times myself trying to figure out what the hell they were doing. I never could bring myself to ask anybody about it, though. I have no idea what it’s about.
Let this be a lesson to you, girls. Don’t judge a man by his package after he’s been sitting in cold water. Everything shrinks up for a bit afterwards.
You are watching a natural thermostat in action. The scrotum also responds to levels of tension, tightening up to protect valuable resources in “fight or flight” situations.
I just had a strange thought, though. For most involuntary muscular responses, some people seem to have concious control over them, and in some cases you can learn concious control of them. If you wanted to go to the effort, could you learn to make your scrotum do tricks? Maybe alternately tighten up one side then the other to “juggle your balls”?
You can, of course, tighten up your groin muscles to draw your testicles upwards, but the scrotum doesn’t change. At least I can do that - for all I know it might be one of those things like wiggling your ears or furling your tongue that some people can do and some can’t.
Exit, singing “Can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in bow …”
My wife doesn’t have to ask. She discovered a ticklish spot on my stomach that all she has to do is stroke it and <FFWTH> my testicles hike up. She finds this hysterically funny.
This is interesting though, I did not know this. I learn more new stuff every day just by reading the board. I’m with Angkins, I’m definately going to have to look into this just to see for myself.
Yeah, I know…MY BALLS DO THE SAMMMEEE THING! (Fifi and Sparky find all of this absolutely HILARIOUS, by the way…) Actually, j/k…I don’t have any testicles, but I’m sure if I did, they’d be doing the dance all day long.
A friend of mine tells the long story (I won’t relate it all here, and after all, it is his story) of riding his motorcycle for a long time in cold weather. He wasn’t wearing warm enough clothing for the temperature. Apparently his privates sort of got shy and shrunk up inside him, much to his dismay.
He went to a gas station, and pulled down his pants and attempted to warm up the affected area by positioning himself under one of those electric hand-dryer things. Just then the gas station attendant walked in. My very embarrassed friend had to explain what had happened.
Homer, try this:
Lay (or stand) perfectly still. When you 'nads are still, tighten the muscles you would to stop pee flow for just a second then release They will start churning. At least mine do.
Careful about that juggling though, could get a twisted nut sack. No laughing matter!
