Our whole group of friends is like this, especially when it comes to restaurants or movies.
It’s not that we don’t have opinions, it’s that there are about 500 restaurants in the area that I would be happy to have dinner at.
We’ve worked out a few things.
Narrow down the choices - “I don’t really care, but Italian doesn’t sound good”
Offer a limited list and let the others pick from it - “Which sounds best - the new action movie, Rocky 34 or Godzilla vs. Pokemon?”
When all else fails, one person throws out an idea. If no one objects, we have a winner. If someone objects, they are responsible for coming up with an alternate idea.
For those that are constantly trying to decide on a new restaurant, check out Urbanspoon.com. They have a restaurant slot machine app, which will randomly suggest a restaurant.
I was in Key West with my family a few years ago. There 13 of us. My then-GF and I struck out on our own. The rest of the family stuck together as a group. GF and I had a great breakfast, getting some local flavor. Then we went to the beach, then had a great lunch with more local flavor.
The rest of the family tried to come to a concensus on what to do. After hours of indecisions, they finally came up with something everyone could agree on – pizza.
Mrs Napier and I divide things like this: I decide the big things and she decides the minor ones. For example, it is up to me whether there is a God, whether the United States should be in Afghanistan, whether global warming is real. She decides where we eat, when we replace our cars, mundane things like that.
Saying to oneself, “I don’t want to risk stepping on her unexpressed preference” sounds on the surface like one is being considerate of her feelings. Actually, though, one is sort of saying, “I’m not sure I can trust her to be open with me.” Trust yourselves and each other, and you may be able to approach these choices with more confidence.
I love the 5-3-1 routine for decision making. The first person comes up with five suggestions, the second person narrows it down to three, then the first person choses one from those three. I don’t know what it is about this method, but it feels much more satisfying and mutual than the 3-1 method. Maybe because you both get to knock off options.
You can take turns being the person who picks the five.
