Male runners - how do you keep your weiner warm in cold weather?

This may belong on a running forum somewhere, but I already have an account here so here goes…

I’m fine running in sub-freezing temperatures (20-32 F, -6-0 C) as long as it’s still out, but the second I start running into even a puff of wind my penis basically proceeds to turn into a popsicle, starting at the tip and working it’s way down. It’s incredibly painful, and usually happens when I’m stuck 3 miles from home. I’m then caught in a horrible catch-22 - the faster I run, the faster the wind chills my willy, the slower I go, the longer it takes to get home. My whole body will be toasty warm, except for that one part that really matters.
I consider myself a pretty hardy runner - I’m not the fastest or longest, but I run through 112 degree heat indexes, snow, freezing rain, trails covered in 6-8 inches of water and mud, biting flies, mosquitos, ticks etc. This is the only thing that makes me think “man, no way am I running today…”

Has anyone remedied this problem? Specific brand/product designed for this? I’ve tried googling but got tired of slogging through penis enlargement regimens.

There’s technical fiber underwear with windproof panels,

In the old days, you wore layers plus the location will keep it warm.

People would do things like wear pj pants under track suit pants, shrink wool pants(so the weave would be wind proof), jock straps.

I wear pants.

So if I walk into the local running store and hint at my problem, they’ll be able to help me out? Windproof underwear sounds like what I need. If I wear enough layers to keep the offending bits warm (briefs, tights, shorts, sweats/trackie-daks) the rest of me will roast!

What kind of weather in your area?

I’ve run and cycled in 20-25F(California) with just underwear-tights-shorts.

If any layer is windproof, it helps a great deal and you need fewer layers.

Indoor track at the Y.

That’s why I pay my dues. I don’t use any of the equipment or anything else—it’s worth it to have an indoor running track available.

how do you keep your weiner warm in cold weather?

I tuck it in my bun and wrap the whole thing in aluminum foil.

That would chafe. It will block the weiner control rays.

Here’s an example of windproof undies.

Odd. I avoid running in freezing temperatures unless the ground is dry, but when I do, my penis kinda just shrinks until it’s half the size of my foreskin which protects it completely from the cold.

I’ve run in the 20’s (F) but have never had the problem. I typically wear just wicking underwear (think Under Armour-type) and running pants, and my little buddy just shrinks like a frightened turtle. It doesn’t feel particularly cold or painful, though, unlike my nipples, which get pointy to the point of bursting.

Ha. My foreskin hasn’t done me much good since it ended up in a pile of medical waste shortly after I was born :smiley: I’ll keep that in mind if I ever have a son…

I don’t have the equipment necessary to have this particular problem, but I’m thinking a nice warm wool sock might be a simple solution.

I think that’s what the Red Hot Chili Peppers endorsed :slight_smile: (google “red hot chili peppers sock photo”…but not at work.)

Google image “knitted peter heater” has some useful results.

No idea as to the weather-protection, but nothing says “get out of my way, families with wandering kids” like a 3-foot, pointy Papua New Guinean penis sheath.

Down? Are you jogging with an erection? Is there some advantage to that… like aerodynamics?

It’s to avoid tripping; at least that’s my reason for it.

Here’s your problem–put it back in, silly! Running with it out is causing the entire problem.

I just wear wind-stopper pants or shorts. I have thermal tights for running and the windproof shorts just go overtop. I’m fine in most Canadian winters.

There was only once when it was really, really, really cold and really, really windy that I got only a couple blocks from home and then felt like I’d been kicked in the gnads.

I’m now in a climate where this isn’t a concern, but during my high school days I was on the cross country ski team. The racing unitards don’t do much at all to stop the wind so we had to improvise.

The best bargain basement solution was to double over duct tape into a thin wind shield. Very low cost, easy to make, and virtually wind proof. You need a tight outer layer to hold it in place and it’s a lot more comfortable if there’s a layer between your precious and the shield. The best outfit for this solution is running tights and briefs with your tape shield in between.

Are those gnat reproductive organs? :smiley: