I’m wondering why it is that, after sex, guys lose all interest in the activity for a while? Of course I’m speaking from a sample of one here - this is hardly locker room discussion - but I find that after, erm, finishing, I lose all interest in the idea of sex for a few minutes. After a recovery time, all is well again. I’m not talking about the physical aspects of “reloading” - purely the mental aspect.
During the “recovery” time I’m not actually repulsed by it - just supremely disinterested, in an “accidentally-tuned-into-CSPAN-2-during-a-long-debate” sort of way. I was trying to figure out an evolutionary advantage for this, but couldn’t - surely it would benefit the race to have guys always ready and willing until they’re physically unable to perform any more?
OK, let the cheap humor commence…I am looking for a serious answer though.
I’ve often wondered the same thing. I may be completely off base but it occurs to me that if you maintained your intrest after ejaculation you…wouldn’t have a reason to stop…so i’m gratefull, it seems to be natural moderation enforcer.
I have no scientific background on this subject, but here’s a couple possibilities from a (pardon the pun) layman:
The “mental aspect” may just be to reinforce the physical reloading. I don’t know what percentage of sperm gets used up per session, but I’d expect the rest of the semenal fluid is mostly drained, requiring some time to reaccumulate (although at a faster rate than sperm cells). If you don’t have anything to deliver, why expend energy making the trip?
How much benefit would there really be adding more sperm in such a short period of time? Although it might be that the interest is only decreased for that particular partner, if there was another available woman perhaps the “spread the seed” instinct would kick in sooner. “Honey, how would you like to invite your attractive coworker over for a scientific experiment?”
The genes controlling the “lassitude” period were selected for after many generations of severe chafing.
Well, if temporary asexuality were a goal of mine, that’d be the route I’d choose to take.
Recovery = evolutionary advantage.
Spreading seed to more than one woman = evolutionary advantage
I’d bet that multiple encounters with the same woman yields almost no increased chance of pregnancy, but only serves to further tap a man’s resources and recovery.
For an advantage to the species, it would be best if men had sexual encounters with as many women as possible. Men have limited resources, and it would be a disadvantage to ‘waste’ those resources on the same woman.
Have sex, recover, and then have sex with another woman as soon as possible. Lather rinse repeat.
Mankind is a social creature. While there is some technical advantage to cheating, in the long run we stand a better chance of reproducing successfully if we play it straight. The rationale is that by not spreading physical, mental, and economic resources among various children of different mothers, we prevent conflict over mates and ensure the maximum possible healthy lifestyle for our children, which makes for a healthier long-term gene pool.
Besides, as far as it goes, given the number of sexual encoutners required to impregnate, you’re not really “wasting resources”. And even the long pregnancy and earlier childhood periods, we can still have many children. A healthy adult male can reliably sire five kids by one woman, far more than needed to replenish the species and ensure his own genetic survival. Anything beyond that is fairly limited, and not controlled by genes anyhow, so is rather irrelevant for evolutionary purposes.
Success in evolution means reproducing and keeping your genes alive.
Success of the species has nothing to do with long term success of individuals, just the ability to reproduce and pass on one’s dna during sexual maturity.
We didn’t get here by managing economical and social resources. Additionally, you cannot apply the tradtional image of family to humans across all time frames.
You are missing something here. The problem is that you must not just pass along your genes, you must make sure that your children are alive to pass out their genes.
When women began to walk upright, the way we birth our children changed. We must give birth before the child is able to fend for itself. We must take care of our children more intensively and for longer than other species. While mothers are doing this, there is not much opportunity to forage for food, make shelter, build fires and so on. So a father figure is needed – a father because he has more of a stake than anyone else in the continued success of his offspring. He takes care of both mother and child.
Think of a mother bird sitting on her eggs while the father flies off and captures goodies for her to eat. It’s the same thing!
There are very many species out there completely monogamous. There a plenty who have serial monogamy. If you want to say that humans are like the bees that fertilize the flowers, go ahead, but it certainly ain’t true.
I had always heard this explained as an evolutionary thing. Supposedly, way back when, it was the woman who would take on multiple partners, in order to increase the chances of impregnation.
The male losing interest immediately after the act served a simple purpose: he’d get the hell out of the way so that the next guy in line could take a crack at it.
Boy, this thread is going far afield. I’ve just re-read the O.P. He says, for a few MINUTES.
I mean, gosh. When I was 15, I had a recovery period that only took a few minutes. Then I was literally capable of orgasming again. Maybe, 5-10 minutes if aroused again. Now at 41, it’s fair to say that I can watch a week’s worth of MAS*H re-runs before I’m ready to go again. Okay. That’s a lie, but it’s a lot longer than a few minutes.
My take is that the moments post-orgasm are the denoument. Your body has just experienced an astonishing flood of hormones, your endocrine system is overloaded and the dopamine receptors in your brain are sizzling.
The machine needs at least a few minutes to recover and return to a normal state, whatever age you are and whatever your personal “normal state” is.
Let’s turn this around, perhaps my answer will have some weight to it. Ladies, when immediately post-orgasm ( for the first few minutes) are you interested in having active sex at that moment? Or, are you in a period of enjoying the reverberations of your orgasm and unwinding from the release? Do you prefer to engage in more sex within a few minutes, or wait a few before resuming?
My WAG is that both genders need a bit of time to physically and mentally recover from an orgasm. It has nothing to do with evolution ( IMHO ) and everything to do with the mechanisms of orgiastic release for both sexes.
Here’s my suggestion: The refactory period, during which the woman and man presumably stay together (ie, she doesn’t move on to another partner) actually provides more time for the sperm (if any) to meet the egg (if any). The corona of the glans penis functions something like a squeegee (moreso if circumcized), scooping out ‘competing’ semen (if present) before the current lover deposits his. Enter refactory period. Increase chance of pregnancy. Biology is smart that way. The older the partner, the less motile the sperm will be - the longer the refactory period, preferably without moving to a new partner, needs to be.
I’m with Cartooniverse on this. What’s all this talk about evolution?
But I’m curious, is this true for most men? Do y’all really want to watch CSPAN? (I know, not literally.)
After an orgasm, I get intently focused on my partner. The smell of her skin, the rhythm of her breathing, her sounds, her motions – it all just takes me over and I wallow in it. When I think of us together, that’s the moment I recall most vividly.
Interesting that the disinterest phase would be seen as a process that was ‘selected for.’ I imagine the default state as being ‘not-horny, gathering beers and pizza’ which then occasionally gets flipped over to ‘Copulate. Copulate RIGHT now.’ I mean, in keeping with the metaphor most of a guy’s time really is spent in pursuit of beers & pizza (attending to life-supporting physical needs, if like) with only the relatively rare opportunity to deliver genetic material to a viable receptacle.
To address ‘downtime’ for a given interlude containing multiple subroutines, the ‘Copulate’ function would be invoked, or ‘aroused’ from the default state.
Just a random thought as a woman who can identify with the “resolution phase”, but isn’t it possible that the endorphins and such that are dumped need a chance to recharge as well? While a bad analogy, use of ecstacy temporarily depletes pleasure chemicals in the brain. While not the same exact physiological response, wouldn’t an orgasm also use up some required ingredients that need to be replenished?
They say schnauzers are social creatures. What the heck does it mean, anyhow? (I guess an alligator is not a social creature?) Seriously though, it sounds like you are saying any creature with an urge to reproduce is a social creature. That would include the 17 year cicada, by that definition. …But, what creature has no instinct to reproduce? What creature is not social? - Jinx
You are applying the very narrow view of what we condsider ‘traditional’ families to all of mankind straight back to the dawn of man and his ancestors! You are assuming that mankind was built on nuclear families! This is ENORMOUSLY biased by your current experiences in the world today and does not even explore the things that can be learned aboiut survival from different societies on the earth at this very moment! Men with hundreds of wives, women with tens of husbands, children with unknown fathers, and an assortment of social structures to boggle the mind. It might very well be the DIVERSION from just one type of social structure (such as a nuclear family) that enables man to survive across a wide range of conditions and regions. Think outside the box.
I can’t really respond to every point in detail (that would take books), but mankind, moreso than any other mammel, is a creature dependant on society. Without a coherent and stable social structure, primitive or not, human reproductive success rates plummet. And the surest way we’ve found to ensure long-term reproductive success is to ensure a stable family structure. Passing along genes is vital, but passing along skills, knowledge, and the non-instinctual family tradition that itself enables the creation of future stable family structures (and ergo ensuring the skills and knowledge will continue to be taught) has proven to be to cornerstone of human success.
Philster’s post amounts to no serious case against my position. Telling me to “think outside the box” does nothing to disproive the simple fact that nearly (and I mean well over 99% of humankind) as lived in an essentially monogamous society, often with severe social repercussions for adultery and sexual libertineness. There are a few notable exceptions - some parts of Tibet are known to have used a very unusual system of family marriages and many societies allowed a tiny, but wealthy portion of the population to have concubines or multiple wives, but these failed to displace the dominant social pattern, which is monogamy.
There is no real secret why: if everyone plays the system straight, everyone reproduces. And of course, people who have established exclusive sexual rights have no reason to disregard them in favor of anarchic reproduction.