Male vs. Female Sex Drives

Great Debates
161

And when those patterns of behavior cross ages and cultures and correspond whith similar patterns in other species I begin to think there is a high probability that it is not just cultural because the chances that all cultures developed the same by chance is infinitesimally small. And the chances that the species did the same is zero. Humans would be very exceptional in this regard if both sexes were alike in our sexual behavior.

So my examples are anecdotes but yours are canon law? I believe my example is representative of what I see as most common behavior in women. If you think the tremendous differences between men and women in their behavior, in the rate at which they rape, the rate at which they use prostitutes, the rate at which they search and accept casual sex, the rate at which they consume porn, etc, and that these rates are consistently different in every culture and in every age, if you think this is just caused by culture and has nothing to do with biology then we just evaluate the evidence differently because to me it is quite obvious biology is the major factor here.

And so, we will just have to agree to disagree without being disagreeable.

162

Note that I’ve backed up my “view” with numerous observations.

w.r.t. the Fabio thing, I googled around and couldn’t find anything.
But in any case, I’ve heard stories previously about celebs propositioning women and them refusing. It bucks a trend but it’s not that hard to explain:

Firstly, celebs will generally have a lot of luck with women. So they’ll get to the stage where they are quite direct and proposition women in a way that ordinary guys would never do.
I don’t directly ask for sex, even with a woman who seems to like me, because I know they’ll refuse. To me, the fact that someone would even try something like that implies past success.
What would be shocking is if a woman were to say “I met George Clooney. It took him all night to pluck up the courage to ask me out, so I politely declined”.

And secondly, the women may refuse because they are instinctively wary about jumping in the sack. I mean: These were women meeting their idol. Why did they refuse sex? Culture again, eh?

I’ve remembered another anecdote, but I’m not sure you’ll believe this one because it’s too convenient. :smiley:

The Fun Lovin’ Criminals were playing in my town. A friend of mine from Uni (who was super-hot) had apparently been invited to the after party. The following day, she tells me that some rough-looking drunk guy was trying to proposition her at the party, and she wasn’t interested.
The drunk eventually pulls some other girl and then someone there tells her that he’s the lead singer of the band – she had no idea who the bandmembers were, she hadn’t even been at the concert.
Then she said, I swear, “I wish I’d have taken him up on it…”. I felt physically sick to hear her say that…

I agree with that.
All I’ve said is that the instinctive component has the following effects in women (among others):

[ul]
[li]An attraction to men of high social status[/li][li]A hesistancy to sleeping with new, unfamiliar guys[/li][/ul]

I cannot believe we’re still discussing this!

And note: no guys have entered this discussion and argued with the general observation about guys’ instinctive sex drives. There just seems to be something unthinkable about saying women have any instinctive drives at all.

163

I don’t think it’s true that these people are regarded as “practically sex goddesses”.

People talk more about their hotness than they do about that of people that they actually know, because there’s a comfort in the distance that you have from the celebrity. Talking about how hot one’s neighbor/coworker/relative is can cause “complications”.

But that doesn’t mean that people actually think these celebrities are hotter than the people they know.

164

You have numerous observations for your view; I, sailor, and others have posted plenty of observations for the other view. w.r.t women and celebrities anyway. I don’t think you are wrong that women are attracted to celebrities, sometimes purely because they are celebrities. I think this is true for men too; I think that has more to do with ‘celebrity culture’ than with innate sex drives.

I certainly have not disagreed with either of the bullet points you write either; no one is claiming that one factor which leads women to find a man attractive is high social status (and that the reverse for men with women is not so true, in this case). Of course women have instinctive drives wrt to sex.
I was merely positing that it is not as if men and women’s ‘lust’ were always so different (in quality – I think it is different in quantity on average). Women like physically attractive men. They may also appreciate other things in a partner; men don’t make pair-bonding choices purely due to a women’s looks either. But we’re discussing sex-drives, not marriage. That we are still arguing this does seem weird to me.

165

DaphneBlack,
I agree with everything in your last post and I guess I have nothing more to add.

Well…the only thing I’d finally dispute is the suggestion that men are as attracted to celebrities as women seem to be.
Personally, I find hot celebrities hot, but no more so than if they were a “nobody”. If I respect a celebrity’s work, then I might be drawn to them, but it’s more a conscious thing than innate desire. But anyway, it’s hardly a point that I want to labour over. We can agree to disagree on that minor point.

166

Interesting to note how the media treats ‘promiscuous’ female starlets and male actors and musicians who bed groupies… but that’s a whole other thread.

167

Came across someone else who made largely the same point as I was making in the OP, although he applied it in a much broader fashion. To the part that refers to sex drives specifically:

Source: http://www.psy.fsu.edu/~baumeistertice/GoodAbtMenAPATalk.doc (Very interesting thesis in general - worth reading IMO.)