Y’know, the old saying goes that “men think about sex 30 times per day; women think about sex once a day (if that).” But more than that, I mean, you always see random guys complaining about their SO’s arbitrarily “cutting off” the sex, yet you never see women complaining about their men turning them down for sex or wanting to have sex less frequently than they do. Are the stereotypes true? Do you think that women really are just NOT as interested in sex as men?
I have found many women very sexual and will express that sexuality, but they have to feel that they are in a safe place to be themselves to express themselves that way.
I suspect the stereotype you mention restricts their natural sexuality.
There is a huge continuum amongst men and women from no interest to hyper interest and I would imagine that the bell curve is about the same for both genders. I have heard plenty of women complain about not getting enough from their SOs.
The answer is “No.” My post is my cite. I’m filled with testosterone, and I get tired even thinking about some of those she-ladies. Kanicbird had it right – I thought he was one of those Pick-Up Artists, but maybe not – IME women do like to feel comfortable and safe, which is why so few women give good phone sex. They get embarrassed, I guess.
And could you imagine the shit-storm if they did? It would be seen as a public emasculation…or a public condemnation of your own attractiveness or the state of your relationship. Like it or loathe it, there’s still very much a perception that *real * men will fuck anything that’s not utterly disgusting anytime any way anywhere; if your husband is turning you down, it must be because either you’ve let yourself go or because he can’t get it up or because he’s fucking someone else. Jeebus, who wants to set themselves up for that shit?
It’s been said as much here - he’s just not fucking her because she’s fat or she won’t put out.
Or the wife’s getting her needs met elsewhere.
Some of my girlfriends are once a week or once a month types, others are more … frisky - it varies.
I’m a 47-year old woman who has been single for almost four years. I ended my last relationship when my BF of 3-years stopped putting out (for the last 18 months or so of our relationship).
I find it ironic the number of married men who hit on me because they aren’t getting any at home and I am – apparently – an overtly sexual woman. I must be putting out the major pheromones of desire since I have to resort to hook-up sites for an occasion release.
One way of figuring this out is to look at the relative rates of sex for gay men vs lesbian women. Gay men tend to have much more sex.
I think younger men tend to be more sexual than younger women. I think older women are MUCH more sexual than men of their same age.
Another metric would be to compare the worldwide annual amount paid by men to women for sex, vs. the amount paid by women to men.
Just look at the pigeons. The pigeonettes seem totally uninterested while three or four pigeon dudes fluff their breast feathers and do their dance. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one get lucky.
Or you could look at the number of female politicians who end up in embarrassing sex scandals versus male politicians.
I remember reading about a study that compared gay guys, gay girls, and stright couples. The male gays on average had the most sex, the lesbians average had the least sex, and the het couples were in the middle. So while everything’s individual, it would seem there’s some correspondence to gender.
Women who take testosterone report feeling hornier.
If women started wanting sex as much as men then we men would have to turn up our sex drives an 11. It’s just not manly to want it less.
As have I, and I include myself in that group.
Absolutely women are less sexual. If women and men had the same sex drive, society as we know would fall apart. If women understood the lengths that some/most men will go to get laid, they would be astonished/horrified.
I don’t want to generalize too much but…What I’ve discovered about my own sex drive is that I don’t want to have sex with someone I’m mad at, or with someone who treats me badly. The man in question, however, may be perfectly willing to have sex with me no matter how mad we are or how badly he might treat me otherwise.
When I talk to some of my female friends, they seem to operate under the same dynamic. For a lot of women, I think that anger/frustration/unhappiness kills the sex drive. IME, that hasn’t been so true for men.
Luckily I have a great boyfriend now. We get along really well, and I can definitely see the improvement in my sex drive.