I don’t really have any reason for continuing to post questions like this; I guess that, on a basic level, I’m interested in learning about women’s sex drive in comparison to men’s. I mean, certain generalities can be gleaned rather easily:
Women generally aren’t as interested in sex as men
Women generally find little enjoyment in casual hook-ups
Women generally place far more importance on the emotional aspect of sex than men & typically need an emotional bond with their partner before they can be intimate.
Women generally are more forgiving about physical appearances than men.
Women generally can find fulfillment in a relationship in which there is minimal sex, whereas men generally can’t do that.
All that said, my last topic indicated that women (or at least the ladies here lol) place a lot of importance on sexual enthusiasm. And Hell, those points I listed might even get criticized by some of the posters here, but I still think they’re worth discussing.
Uh. I don’t speak for my entire gender, but it’s really important to me. I’d say it’s in the top three most important things in my life.
Then again, I’ve rarely met a guy who could keep up with me in the long run. I don’t understand the whole “women don’t like sex” thing at all, but I guess the only woman’s sexuality I know well is my own.
Are you asking about every woman now alive and living anywhere on this planet? Because if you are, the answers from the nuns are gonna skew the percentages big time.
There is no way one can make a generalized statement about how important any one thing is to every woman on the planet. The best you can hope for by asking those kinds of question in a venue such as this is that some women will answer you honestly about what is important to them. Now, if you asked something along the lines of, “Women of the Dope: How important is sex to you?” I would have not the slightest objection. But the question, as currently posed, implies that all women share the same attitude towards sex, and that simply is not so. JMO, regards &c.
(the following answers are just my opinion I don’t speak for all women of course).
1) Women generally aren’t as interested in sex as men
Not true at all!
**
2) Women generally find little enjoyment in casual hook-ups**
** True.
**3) Women generally place far more importance on the emotional aspect of sex than men & typically need an emotional bond with their partner before they can be intimate.****Mmmmmm…yes and no. The emotional aspect must be there in order for it to be good sex, but when IN such a relationship, it can get as down and dirty as he likes (within reason :D).
**
4) Women generally are more forgiving about physical appearances than men.**In most way yes, but we have our “non-negotiable” physical traits too.
**5) Women generally can find fulfillment in a relationship in which there is minimal sex, whereas men generally can’t do that.**Ummmmm no, not really. Otherwise he might as well be a roommate right?
Depends on the woman, silly. And it’s not unusual for it to be vastly different for the same woman at different points in her life. The amount of physical, mental, or emotional stress in someone’s life and what their hormones are doing can make a huge difference in your sex drive.
At what age? At 15, I was interested, but not as interested as my 16-year-old bf. At 30, I was interested and probably as interested as a man. At 42, I assure you, I am probably more interested than most men my age.
You do realize that hormonal balance shifts and ebbs and flows over the years so one’s libido is fluid. There is no hard-and-fast (heh) rule about how much women are interested in sex. Are we talking about single religious women? Are we talking about married women with 4 kids?
That depends on the hookup. If the guy is skilled and isn’t just trying to get a nut off and actually gives a damn if the woman (me) enjoys it, then a hookup can be very enjoyable. I’ve had a couple that turned into BFs because we both enjoyed the hookup so much. If the guy is a minuteman and has never heard of foreplay (usually the case with a drunken random you pick up in a bar), then yeah, the sex probably won’t be all that awesome.
No, I don’t even have to like the guy. Just have to feel safe enough that he won’t try to kill me or beat me to a pulp (because that gets him off). Some of the best sex I’ve ever had in my life was with a guy I dated solely for the sex and his mad cooking skills. I found his personality repulsive and didn’t even really like the guy at all. Best sex of my life to date.
I’ll go along with this one for myself, but I wouldn’t say that’s accurate as a generalization.
No. Not true in my case. Sex is the glue that holds it all together. Go too long without and I start thinking the lack of sex is a symptom of something gone horribly wrong in the relationship. I know that, when a man makes me sick and I don’t want to fuck him anymore, the best fair thing to do is cut him loose.
I don’t know. Everyone has different priorities about what is important to them. For me, it’s probably in the top three and might even rank above eating.
There’s a physiological reason why women in general have a particular reputation for having a very high sex drive when they’re in their 30s. I am not speaking for most women, but in my case, it was very true. I wasn’t on any birth control, btw.
Come my early-mid 40s? Eh.
Smack in the middle of menopause at this very moment? I couldn’t care less if I ever had sex again. Needless to say, it’s causing a bit of friction with my husband.
Personally, I am quite interested in sex. I am not sexually attracted to many people (but those I am, will awaken a strong ‘drive’ in me), and I’m too shy and cautious to pursue casual sex. But I sure have a lot of female friends who have had tons of sex outside of relationships! I consider myself shallow, and am not attracted whatsoever to people who don’t meet my standards for physical appearance (I think I said in one of those threads that I would take a hot guy who ‘just lies there’ or whatever over any that wasn’t physically attractive to me, no matter his level of skill or enthusiasm). To me, there is little point in a romantic relationship without frequent sex, and lack of sex will make me very discontented with the relationship and resentful towards my SO.
Let me go by this in a methodical fashion, for the sake of science.
Women generally aren’t as interested in sex as men
This doesn’t seem true for me. In most relationships I’m a “once or twice a day” girl, whereas guys tend to want some recovery time, especially after the first stages of a relationship. Anyway, I find most guys don’t really keep up with me.
Women generally find little enjoyment in casual hook-ups
It depends. The most satisfying “relationships” I’ve had have been casual hook-ups. I love how they have a nice neat beginning and end without anything getting weird and ruining it. But I also find most casual hook-ups to be pretty unsatisfying- I find the first few times I have sex with a new partner, it’s pretty mediocre. It takes a little bit of practice and trust to find each other’s rhythms and be comfortable getting down and dirty. So while I can certainly enjoy casual hook-ups, I rarely seek them out because the ration of “good to bad” usually isn’t worth it.
I mean, imagine if 90% of the girls you hooked up with pulled a starfish and just lay there limply while you went to town. Not much fun, huh? That’s basically what the two-pump chump (which is what you tend to get from hookups) is to us. It’s not worth the price of the cab ride in the morning.
Women generally place far more importance on the emotional aspect of sex than men & typically need an emotional bond with their partner before they can be intimate.
This is “a little bit.” An emotional bond (or, more likely, a touch of drama) tends to make the sex better IMHO, but it’s not something that is absolutely necessary.
Women generally are more forgiving about physical appearances than men.
Not true in my case, but I get called out as “shallow” a lot here. If they physical attraction isn’t there, it’s a no go. And I’m attracted to cuties. So sue me.
I’m probably much pickier than most guys. Guys often can find any fit girl in their age range attractive. Guys I find “fuckable” are rare as hen’s teeth, unfortunately.
Women generally can find fulfillment in a relationship in which there is minimal sex, whereas men generally can’t do that.
Oh hell no. The moment the sex goes down, I know the relationship is over. It MAY be different if we are in the middle of taking care of a newborn or something. But an unexplained drop in sex? It’s always been a dealbreaker for me.
As most of these are painting with a broad brush, there will be quite a number of exceptions and reasoning behind each question, especially when you consider various cultures, religious beliefs, social conditioning, etc. So anything I’d answer is relative to my experience, and without a doubt has a counter-example which is likely just as valid.
As someone said earlier, it depends on a host of factors, but generally, I don’t find this to be true. Anything from age, to emotional state, to past experiences can affect the interest in sex. I will say, however, that one gender is more outwardly vocal about it, and receives more appeal from the media, but even this is changing.
In a nutshell, I’d say a fair amount of interest is related to the level of comfort (this doesn’t mean you need to be in an intimate relationship, either, as some people get comfortable very quickly).
It largely depends on the female. Granted, I have fewer friends who would involve themselves in casual hookups, but the same would hold true for the male ones, and it’s most certainly due to factors outside of being interested in sex, itself. This also doesn’t mean they aren’t curious and/or willing, provided the circumstances are right.
I then have a number of female friends who have had numerous casual hookups and both sides and love it.
I can count many exceptions, but I also see where a reasonable argument can be made or supported, for this claim.
I’d say this is only marginally true in my experiences, and needs to take quite a few factors into consideration.
How forgiving you are of appearances can just as well be related to how easily it is for you to find a partner. If it’s difficult, as it is for some people I know, they are a noticeably less selective. On the other hand, I have friends who are very attractive and receive lots of attention-- they don’t lose much by being selective, as they get far more attention on a regular basis.
Another case of where it depends on the person, and can be influenced by a lot of factors.
For example, some don’t mind minimal sex, because the sex they get isn’t very good and they haven’t experienced anything significant. In other cases, I’ve seen some overwhelming females who chew guys up and spit them out.
Defining fulfillment in a relationship would be a multi-page thread, unto itself, and a persons needs in a relationship can always change.
I could cherry-pick examples, but I’d say about as important as it is for men, once comfortable.
Women generally aren’t as interested in sex as men
I can’t speak for all of womenkind, but I am very, very interested in sex. It’s a basic primal need, not to mention it can be incedibly enjoyable. I get very cranky without any kind of sex.
Women generally find little enjoyment in casual hook-ups
Not true for me either. Sometimes sex can just be fun between relative strangers. I haven’t had many casual hookups, but my thinking is there can be a lot less pressure and stress when it doesn’t involve someone you know and want to impress.
Women generally place far more importance on the emotional aspect of sex than men & typically need an emotional bond with their partner before they can be intimate.
Again, not really. If I’m in a relationship, then the “emotional aspect” is fairly important, but it’s not necessary for me to enjoy sex.
Women generally are more forgiving about physical appearances than men.
This is fairly true, I think. Both my most recent ex and current boyfriend are fairly overweight and not what many would consider “hot”. I found them both attractive because of good personalities, nice smiles, and the respect they showed me. I thought/think of them as attractive, but neither of them are going to be on the cover of GQ.
5) Women generally can find fulfillment in a relationship in which there is minimal sex, whereas men generally can’t do that.
HELL NO. Everyone defines “minimal sex” differently, but if we only had any kind of sex say, once a week, I wouldn’t find that satisfying and probably ask for the relationship to be “open” so I could get my fill of sex elsewhere.
I defy the outdated and over-simplistic stereotype of women as demure creatures who would be fine if their partners dispensed with sex. Obviously love/connection is important for a relationship, but so is satisfying sex.
Dude, what are you, 12? Seriously, way to pull out all the stereotypes there. It just screams “I’m young and inexperienced” to me. Apologies if that’s not the case.
Myself, I’ve only ever had sex with one guy, maybe 2, depending on how you classify “sex.” If that definition is only PIV sex counts, then I’ve had sex with one guy. If you count oral and other stuff, then 2. (Yes, even I find that a bit weird. But it’s how my life turned out.) So I can’t comment on the casual hookup thing; I’ve never had one. If I weren’t in a committed, monogamous relationship, I might go for a casual hookup, depending on circumstances and such.
I’m also very interested in sex - it’s a healthy part of life and relationships. It’s fun. That said, I think it’s hard for younger women to put aside all the programming that many of us grow up with. (Have to be a nice/good girl; only sluts have sex, all that. It’s more common than you think.) IMO, it takes some life experience before a woman knows what she wants and is confident enough to go out and get it for herself, regardless of what others might think or judge.
Of course sex is important to women. But it’s generally less important to them than it is to men.
Women’s sex drive is more dependent on external factors. If she had a bad day, is tired, is angry, etc, her drive may not be there at all. But with men, their drive is more constant. Regardless of how things are going, he will generally be up for some sexual activity–which may be intercourse or masturbation.
But when the conditions are right, sex can be more important to a woman than it is a man.
I think that when a woman is in a good place for sex, it can be very important to her. But when the mood isn’t right, then it may not matter at all. Whereas with men, the desire for sex is always there. It may be more or less at different times, but it never really goes away. This may make it seem like sex isn’t as important to women. But I think it’s more that at some times it’s really important and at other times it doesn’t matter at all.
As a gay man who has never so much as even kissed another woman, I am not qualified to speak about this topic. But I just wanted to add that from women I’ve known, most of them place relatively little importance on how many people they’ve slept with, and how easily they can get a guy to sleep with them… yet I have known several men who are proud to play the field without emotional attachment. Just my experience of course.
Gay men… on the other hand. Ugg… They are like regular men but with 100x the distaste for monogomous, stable relationships.
