If there ever were a contest “News Story Designed for Snarkiest Comments by Dopers” I think this one would win first prize. Let the snark begin!
“Accident”… suuuuuuuuuuure.
I came in here for liposuction, you idiot!
Was it Rush Limbaugh? They have to get all that hot air in there somehow…
I was dubious until I noticed how wrong the headline is - it didn’t lodge in buttocks, but in one buttock. In other words, it wasn’t rectally inserted - it stabbed into the buttock proper.
I guess it’s possible that he was indeed aiming for the anus and his technique blows, but perhaps not in this case.
Rectum?
Damn near killed him!
That story blows.
Better out than in. Seriously.
I would make a snarky comment, but it’s such a pain in the ass to come up with clever puns.
Is it evil of me to be curious as to what exactly that looked like?
When I got my physical and basic intro for one factory summer job, they gave us dire warnings about horsing around at work, and mentioned the case of one guy who literally stuck an air hose in another guy’s rectum. The intestine burst and the guy died.
I suppose it’s possible this guy was trying something, but I’m willing to believe that he had an accident. In that case, he was lucky in many ways., The hose penetrated his skin, not his anus, and the air apparently pumped up his skin – something I wouldn’t have thought likely. Sounds like the scene at the end of Live and Let Die.
This wasn’t a case of accidental inflation during attempted gratification. It happened in public, in daylight, with the guy’s boss and co-worker around. He fell off a tractor he was working on at a gas station and the valve from the air tank broke under him when he fell and punched into his body, using a previously non-existent entry point. The line coming out of the tank then bent like a fishhook, preventing easy removal. They had to find the tank and shut it off. Then the poor bastard had to wait over an hour for the paramedics and over three days in the hospital before the air levels inside his body returned to normal.
I know the story raises some eyebrows due to similarities to self-inflicted injuries sustained during sexual situations, but this was a true accident and it sounds like it was horrific. Some black humor, sure, but this guy wasn’t your garden variety pervert. Ripping him a new one would be blowing this all out of proportion.
Enjoy,
Steven
Besides he’s already got one new one does he really need another?
How cool would it have been if the tank was full of helium? His farts would’ve sounded like bunnies.
What do bunnies on helium sound like?
Chipmunks.
A cuteness beyond comprehension.
Flee! Our cuteness shields cannot withstand tweeness of that magnitude!
“Barely able to breath, blind in one eye and in excruciating pain, paramedics still didn’t arrive at the gas station for about an hour.”
Won’t somebody think of the paramedics?! I’m amazed they got there in an hour with all those problems, poor things.