Man, this is gross!

Alright, let me set the scene for you. It’s a beautiful Spring day here in New England. Ripple has the day off from work, so he’s driving around town, taking care of some errands. So I’m cruising down the road, tunes cranked up, arm out the window.

Then it happened.

I ran over a raccoon! As bad as that is, (and I DO feel like crap) when the poor bastard passed under the wheels, my arm was covered with a spray of raccoon innards. :eek:

Looking back I probably could have done something differently. Maybe I could have swerved, or just plain stopped. Maybe if I stayed longer at the dry cleaners none of this would have ever happened. It all happened so fast, though. He just ran out from the side of the road - and splat.

I stopped immediately went to the side of the nearest house, and helped myself to the use of their hose to clean myself off. Oh man was I freaked! I’ve hit animals before, but the immediate spatter of warm guts really brought the finality of the whole thing home for me.

On the plus side, I’m told that a raccoon that is out and about in the daytime is probably sick, maybe with rabies. As screwey as it sounds, maybe I did it a favor in the long run. It certainly was a quick passing.

So has anything like this ever happened to you, or anyone you know? Should I get a rabies shot or something?

Just be thankful you weren’t driving a convertible. Or riding a motorcycle.

Man, we really need a :nauseous: smiley around here.

Gross? Gross? Please. That is just so cool. I have never hit anything, ever, in my entire driving life, that splattered. I would like this experience. Please package and forward.

I though you Aussies were always slamming into kangaroos and wallabies down there. No splattering? You’re obviously not driving fast enough.

This reminds me of a story that one of my friends was telling a bunch of us a while ago. He’s really into running, and was training for the local marathon. One night, he couldn’t sleep, so he decided to see how much he had run from his house to one of the local universities. So he got in the car and drove up to the university; on the way back, he hit a skunk. Immediately, the whole car was filled with this immense stink, and my friend couldn’t wait to get home! :eek: He quickly tried to get rid of the smell as soon as possible, and it worked. Don’t know how long it took, though.

I’ve never run over anything. Well, not to KILL it. But I keep running over the tails - JUST the tails, mind - of possums. The Possum Count is currently at 8. It’s a little bit mind-boggling that I’ve run over JUST THE TAILS of 8 possums, and never run over any part EXCEPT the tail…

Many years ago a cat ran in front of me while on my way to work. I looked in my mirror and did not see a dead cat, figured I knocked it to the side of the road. 20 minutes later I pulled into the parking lot at work and I could smell cooking meat. After parking, I looked under the car and saw the tail of the cat hanging down, I grabbed it and pulled and all I got was the tail. I used my tire iron to dislodge the rest. It had gotten stuck between the tail pipe and floor of the car. What was left was a rather gruesome sight.

One day, driving to school in seventh grade, we saw something on the road. All over the road. And then we saw the completely severed lower half of a beaver. The rest of the stuff strewn across the road was, presumably, the rest of the beaver. It was a nasty sight, to be sure. What I couldn’t help thinking was “How the hell do you hit something so hard that you spread most of it over 100 feet of road, having completely severed its torso!? :eek:”

Since we’re sharing roadkill stories:

One time my friend (I was a passenger) ran over a bunny on purpose. The rabbit had already been run over, and was laying in the middle of the road with it’s back legs flattened and shattered. His eyes were bloody and his pulse was at about 500 bpm. He looked miserable…so he “damn…but I have to do it.” And so he put the poor bunny out of his misery. :frowning:

I once had a mourning dove fly directly into the wheel well of my car while I was driving. It exploded in a giant poof of feathers. Stupid bird…didn’t even see it until it hit my car.

And I feel so bad for that little kitty!!!

We used to have keg parties on a rural rode about 30 miles outside of town, being the stupid teenagers that we were we would barrel down the road at 80 miles per hour. The carnage, the horror, the fluffy grey bunnies committing suicide. It got to the point of hilarity some night (usually on the way back from said keg party) with a bunny body count ranging in the teens. I think we single handedly wiped out the encroaching bunny hordes in West Texas… and sadly narry a one was ever bar-b-que’d.

I once hit an otter. I think it was an otter. It looked like a ferret, but about 5-6 feet long, and it had that strange, two-part running gait that ferrets have. It was a dark, foggy night in North Georgia, and the thing came out in front of me so fast I saw it for only maybe a half-second and then POW I nailed it. It didn’t explode or anything cool though.

When I was 14 or so, I went on a trip to New York with my dad. We hit something big while driving around rural New York or Massachusetts that ran out in the road, like a badger or wolverine or something. Ran right over its midsection, and when I saw it in the rear window it was fiercely digging its claws and crawling to go die off the road somewhere…tough little bastard. Stayed with me for years.

Been there. I ran over a rabbit a couple of years ago. I stopped, got out of the car, and walked back. The rabbit’s lower body was completely crushed, and its guts were all over the road. To my utter amazement, the poor thing was still alive, and breathing frantically.

I got the jack out of the car, and… smashed its skull in. One of the hardest things I ever had to do, but it would have been completely inhumane to have left it there.

Are you copying my life or something? :slight_smile:

I once had a pigeon commit suicide on me by diving straight into my left headlight at night. I saw a quick flash, a loud crashing sound, and I noticed half my illumination was gone. I was still thinking it could have been a stone or something, or maybe just the bulb itself flaring out before it died, when I pulled into the nearest gas station to replace the bulb.

It’s just that I didn’t need a bulb, I needed an entire light unit. The pigeon (as I then found out) had crashed into the headlight, and through it into the engine compartment. I popped the hood of the car, only to discover that the entire compartment was sprayed with pigeon stew. The little fucker must have hit a moving part or something. :slight_smile:

The gas station attendant was sympathetic, and let me borrow his high pressure cleaner to spray the dead pigeon out of my engine bay. He didn’t sell full light units, though.

Been there, done that, only it was a raccoon. Argh.

Well, even though wallabies and roos infest every main road I go down, there is little splatterage. They are incredibly tough big creatures and you’re more likely to have the front end ripped off your car than you are to damage them enough to cause a splatter. A road train on the other hand would cause significant damage, more than enuff splatterage, but road trains aren’t all that common down in Melbourne.

I have been in a car that hit a roo, asleep in the passenger seat, I was shunted almost through the window, the radiator dropped out of the car, dented a wheel rim and the roo hopped over the bloody fence and on its merry way. They are not animals you want to hit too often. Again, no splatterage.


I can beat that - on a couple of levels…

Once, I was travelling from Carratha to Geraldton (Both towns in Western Australia about 600Kms apart) at aprox. 1.30am. It was the end of winter and thusly the roadside was green. It was a full moon also (que the spooky music :slight_smile: ) I hit a “Big red” kangaroo in my Landcruiser Troopcarrier, while travelling at about 110Km/hr - the animal was at least 6 feet tall, before I hit it. Once I stopped the car and went to see if the thing was still alive - which it wasn’t - I had to step over various parts of it’s anatomy and when I checked the front of my vehical, well… let’s just say it wasn’t pretty at all… I did $7000AUD damage to my car… :eek:

The other one I can think of, I was on my way to another town out in the country and I came upon a splattery mess. A emu had been hit by a semi trailer and the splatter went on for about 200 meters. It was not pleasant driving thru the aftermath from that, let me tell you!!

mmmmm splatter…


You don’t. You hit the beaver, killing it, and leaving the body about halfway into the usual tire path. Then the next twenty cars hit the end in the roadway, spreading that half over several square yards.


Hey, Ripple – call your health department, pronto. I’m looking at our animal control protocol, and here’s what it says about exposure to rabies:

Getting splattered by the entrails of a wild animal seems like a high-risk activity to me, expecially if there’s any chance that any of its blood hit a mucus membrane (e.g., got in your eyes or mouth) or hit any abrasion on your skin.

But your health department can tell you whether there are rabies cases in your area, and can recommend whether you need to get vaccinated.

Take this shit seriously!

So there I was, one fine sunny morning, waiting for my bus. Tenth Avenue, upon which I stood, was largely empty. Empty, that is, except for this pigeon, which was in the street just a few feet away from me. It looked like it had been rolled in Crisco and then dragged across the floor of an auto body shop. This thing was filthy.

The pigeon kept flapping up into the air and then crashing back down to the ground. It was clearly not a well pigeon. Flapflapflap…flop. Flapflapflap…flop.


A delivery truck comes barrelling up the avenue and crushes the pigeon. Feathers and goo everywhere. I will never forget that sound.

Lemme tell you, that was a sucky way to start a day. For the pigeon and me both.

A friend of mine works for the DPS. He responded to the scene of a rural highway accident once where a driver told him this story…

He’d been doing about 85 when he came over a hill and a large lady on crutches wearing a sweater with little duckies on it was right in the middle of the road. He didn’t have time to brake but did swerve and clipped her with his rear bumper, catching her ankle and dragging her about 120 yards before her leg tore off.

She was still alive but a 3 truck convoy was behind him and hit her seconds later. She’d stood to try and hobble away and the first one grilled her at about 75 mph, sending her flying and then bouncing another 90 yards down the gravel pavement.

The second one got her caught underneather his tires and when he slammed on his brakes the entire cab and trailer bounced repeatedly up and down on what was left of her, pulling her into large chunks in the process. Oooh.

The third semi braked early and skidded across her but by now she was kinda a large spot and it sent him into a jacknife across what was left of her. The doggie she’d been trying to rescue from the middle of the road started crying at this point, pawing at where she’d been just seconds before.

Now here’s the bizarre part. There were four street sweepers behind them going to a Zamboni convention. They passed over her with washers and brooms going and by the time all the original impacters had run down to the scene, there was nothing left.

All of them were pretty sure it had happened but they could only shake their heads and walk away.

Wierd, huh?