Manners that are good/polite/acceptable in one place but rude/gross in another?

I kinda like how people can bring their dogs anywhere in France. I think we’re a little too paranoid sometimes in the states about that. Then again, I think in the States it’s more common to have a dog who lives outside because people have big backyards and such that might not be as common here.

Come to think of it, I’ve never met anyone here who has a dog that lives strictly outside. When I was a kid, my dog was only aloud inside when there was a hurricane or freezing weather, and I wouldn’t have taken that dog in a restaurant.

Taiwanese, too. I think China as well.

I won’t dispute your 23 years of experience, but that sure wasn’t the way I was taught to behave. Rudeness, even to a busboy, is rude.

In at least parts of the US and Scandinavia it is typical to remove your shoes when you come inside, and walking around in stocking feet is fine. It’s considered polite to not put extra wear and tear on the carpets. This does not go over well in Spain, where walking around without shoes is very impolite. But could someone just tell me that? Nooooooo. They just had to keep asking me a million times if I wanted slippers, which I didn’t, or if my feet were cold, which they weren’t. Yes, I was a little slow on the uptake.

True (what are you doing with your hand under the table, anyway?). And if you’re well behaved, you’ll put your hands/forearms on the table but not your elbows, for some reason : “ne poses pas tes coudes sur la table!”).

A pregnant cow is indeed “pleine”, by the way.

“Don’t call me Sir! I work for a living!”

There is always the classic left/right hand usage across most of the Middle and Near East. (Your right hand is used for eating, shaking hands, passing things to another person etc. The left hand is used for “dirty” operations, including but not limited to cleaning yourself at a toilet.)

Sometimes, you get the same reaction but for different reasons. My Maori aunt gets upset if anybody puts a comb, hairbrush, hairclip etc on the bench in the kitchen. Not because the comb might contaminate the bench, but because food is common and might contaminate the comb. Anything to do with the head is sacred - actually sacred is not the right word, but the best English equivalent I can come up with. Special, higher class, etc.

Same in German, I believe… “ich bin voll” can also mean “I’m pissed” (ie. drunk)

And you don’t say “Ich bin heiss” - that means you’re horny - better to say “Es ist mir heiss / warm”

There might also have been an element of exasperation with continuous misunderstandings in that - in Germany, in the context of an offer thank you (Danke) generally means no.

E.g.
“Milk with your coffee?” - “Yes, please” = yes | “Thank you, I prefer it black” = no.
“Can I help you with that piano?” - “Yes, please lift at the other side” = yes | “Thank you, I’ll just put it down over there” = no.

A couple of years ago, HSBC Bank had a television ad campaign that went something like: in country A it is polite to do x, while in country B it is polity to do y. We know the difference.

One ad said that in England it is polite to eat all the food on your plate, while in China it is a sign that you are still hungry. The commercial showed an English business man in China trying to be polite by eating everything on his plate and his Chinese hosts keep brining more and more food.

Another commercial said that in England it is polite for wedding guests to bring a gift for the newlyweds, while in Spain (maybe some other country), it is expected for the hosts of the wedding to give gifts a small gift. The commercial then showed a wedding guest leaving the reception and taking a gift away from the stunned bride.

Perhaps it’s just more formal manners here than in the US, but I would never say “I’m stuffed” after a meal either. I was taught it was vulgar too (but then I grew up in a household that thinks putting jam, sauce or milk on a table in its container is vulgar- everything has to go in a little dish, pot or jug, with an accompanying spoon if necessary). “Thankyou, that was absolutely delicious, I couldn’t eat another bite” would be about as close as I come.

**Tyrrell McAllister ** I have a friend who is Chinese Malaysian (i.e. of Chinese ethnicity, living in Malaysia), and several of our mutual friends have stayed with her family in Kuala Lumpar. Before the trip she tells everyone that if they have had enough to eat they should leave a little on their plate, as her parents will continue to press food on people if they see empty plates.

tschild- my German teacher in school used to tell us a story of her first trip to germany, when she was woken up by the sound of trains, very surprised because her hotel was nowhere near a railway. She looked outside to see some builders laying bricks. What she had heard were the builders passing the bricks to each other (“Danke”, “Bitte”, “Danke”, Bitte" etc.).

These must have been some unusually genteel bricklayers, then (a research project by some civil engineering postgraduates, perhaps :smiley: ) - it might have happened, though, “Bitte”-“Danke” would be the usual exchange for polite people passing an object, but in repetition it’d sound slightly ridiculous.

It could also be a safety practice. I was taught when handing a knife, axe or other sharp tool to say ‘thank you’ when I was ready to take it and the other person was to say ‘you’re welcome’ when they were releasing it.

I learned this in Boy Scouts 25 years ago, but I still do it, lord help me.

In Samoa, it’s almost unforgivable to talk while you’re standing up (inside a building). The impression given is that you’re acting superior to the others in the room.

Sure thing, Sarge!

Growing up Southern Texan, I learned from infancy to say things like Yes, Ma’am, Yes, Sir, No, Ma’am, No, Sir, Thank you very much, May I?, Please?, and so on. To everyone, not just my elders. Everyone gets these from me.

In my many moves across the country and extended stays in Yankee Land*, it’s quite common to have people comment on my use of such automatic phrases. Mostly just in jest, but sometimes people actually seem to take offence at them. Weird.

*anywhere north of Kilgore, Texas

Amen to that, brother.

I grew up as an officer’s brat on military bases in the U.S. and Germany. “Yessir”, “Nossir”, “Yes Ma’am”, and “No Ma’am” are irrevocably ingrained into my cerebral circuitry. This has rarely caused a problem since my emergence into the civilian world, aside from the occasional person who complained that my use of such formal terms made them feel “old.”

I have gotten sour looks from some women when I held a door for them, though. At least one remarked to me, under her breath, that she was perfectly capable of opening a door herself.

Heh. I once got a detention for saying “Yes, sir” to a teacher. Then again, I don’t think anyone got through my high school without getting a detention from that particular teacher, so maybe that’s not the best measure.

It’s possible that the teacher being female might have had something to do with it, too :wink:

My brother Fish spent a few weeks in the Far East seventeen or eighteen years ago[sup]1[/sup], and he reported that this was the case. Apparently, when you want seconds, you clean your plate, and when you’re full, you sit back and leave a distinct little pile of whatever to signal you’re done. I wasn’t there myself, and I suppose it’s possible that the locals were having fun with the ignorant Western tourists, but that’s what he said. Maybe he’ll show up and provide more details.
[sup]1[/sup] :eek:

No, that was the other teacher everyone got a detention from. My detention from her was a pretty straightforward late-to-class, though. The “Yes sir” teacher, though… Well, if Br. Bernard was a woman, he was the ugliest woman ever.