I saw something called “Maple Creme Syrup” at the store today. From the spelling, you know right away there’s no cream in it, not that anyone asked for maple syrup with cream in it anyway. Then there’s one of those little “bullseye” graphics on the label that says “2% PURE MAPLE!”
Ooooh, 2%?! I don’t know, that much concentrated maple might be dangerous! Don’t they have to put it in a locked cabinet, with the expensive Scotch and the cigarettes? I believe the government now requires a warning label: “Maple In Excess of 1% May Cause A Slight Sensation of Flavor in the Young and Elderly.”
Damn, I could produce something with higher than 2% maple just by singing the Canadian national anthem the next time I take a dump. 2% pure maple.
And “creme” isn’t a dodge like “cheez.” Nobody expects dairy in their creme de menthe – they just expect it to be sweet.
That being said, there is no substitute for 100% pure maple syrup. Maple-flavoured corn syrup is for rubes. Not that it matters, since they’re just going to put it on their Eggo[sup]tm[/sup]s, anyway.
Even “cream” has only a late association with dairy products. The original sense is “ointment,” and the derivation is from “chrisma” (ultimately “krystos”) “the anointed.”
So it would make more sense to complain that Maple Creme contains no olive oil.
I suspect there’s a little artificial syrup in that book, too. I noticed Ms. Hoskins is one of those people with an honorary doctorate who goes around calling herself “Doctor”.
Less than 2% maple syrup is what I grew up on. I’ve since been converted to the goodness that is real NH and/or VT Maple syrup.
We once had a Mother’s day brunch for our families, and in the middle of it, my father paused and said: “This maple syrup is really good! What’s in it???”
I fought hard not to make a smartass reply, but failed…
I replied “Maples”
He wasn’t used to the goodness of real 100% honest to goodness, boiled from sap over a hot fire in a sugarhouse maple syrup. He’d probably never actually had anything that wasn’t 96% corn syrup.
My in-laws still chuckle over that day. My parents give me a funny look when we bring it up.
There really is nothing like the real thing. Maple syrup is one of my most favourite things. One thing I really enjoy about being Canadian is getting to go to the Elmira Maple Syrup Festival every year. It’s like being in the middle of a sweet, brown orgasm everywhere you go.
