Bunting: I’m here with Dr. Grendel Crotchwell, Chief Technology Officer of Infornication Corp. Infornication is the world’s greatest company, and Dr. Crotchwell is the smartest man in the universe. Could you tell us what it is your company does?
Crotchwell: We have moved beyond binary code and leveraged a fundamental paradigm shift outside the box.
Bunting: scratches nuts and looks confused And what’s really neat about this is the Brits. The less of them, the better, I’ve always said.
Crotchell: Yes, the bits. Well, using our patented Unitary Code, we now transmit only zeros. All information can be sent in a single bit.
Bunting: That’s fantastic. One day, we may even be able to send no bits at all, and we’ll do it without wires. Let’s talk a bit about what this technology does for an IT specialist. Fellatia Goodwood is the Information Manager at Coprolyte Technologies Inc., the other greatest company in the world.
Goodwood: furtively slipping bunting an envelope full of money Um… well I think it has something to do with our computers or something. We don’t have files and stuff anymore, because, well we just keep sending around a single bit of information. It’s been great. Really.
Bunting: counting on fingers Unitary Code, single bit transfer, simplification of files. has 5 fingers showing Companies like Coprolyte Technologies seize the future through the awe inspiring contributions of Infornication Corp. For more information, visit me on the web at www.vilethechnoslut.com.
Look Bunting, you want to sell; you want to advertise? Fine. Fair enough, I’ll give a quick listen. But don’t corner me on a plane where I can’t even turn your ugly mug off and pretend to be reporting valuable information. This is the worst type of infomercial. Bar none.