Not only do I still have many of my very close female friends, I even have a couple of close female friends that I’ve slept with in the past. Sure, my wife occasionally has a small flash of jealousy, but it’s only once in a while, and she gets over it pretty quickly. Of course, it helps that we’ve got a healthy relationship, and we trust each other.
She has several male friends that I have never worried about, and our circles of friends pretty well meshed so that some of her best girl friends are now some of my best friends and vice-versa.
I’m a married guy, and just like Kilt-wearin’ man, one of my best friends is a former girlfriend. My wife, in fact, likes her a lot. At a party a few months ago, this ex-girlfriend spent maybe half an hour on my lap, giggling and whispering into my ear, while my wife sat a few feet away and chatted with somebody else. Plus, she has male friends, including at least two former boyfriends that I know about. And no, we don’t have an “open” marriage – we’re committed to each other a hundred percent.
And these friendships don’t bother either of us, because we trust one another. We know we’re meant to be together, and neither of us will do anything to endanger that. We’re open with our feelings, and we communicate very effectively. As a consequence, we both know we have nothing to worry about.
If a woman I was considering marrying gave me the indication that she expected me to give up all my close female friends after marriage – well, that would cross the wedding off the to-do list. I’ve put full trust in my wife, and I expect the same in return. Anything less, and what’s the point of being together?
I wouldn’t call any of my friends, male or female, “intimate.” I had what I would call close friendships with men before I got married, and in theory our relationships haven’t changed. But since we moved to a different state the only way I stay in touch with my friends is via the Internet, anyway.
If he seemed to develop what I’d consider an “intimate” friendship with a woman, I think I’d be uncomfortable with that. But a lot depends on how you interpret “intimate.”
To cut to the chase, my relationships with men other than my husband are, in my mind, exactly the same as my friendships with women. I never have been the kind of woman to look for sexual opportunities.