Martinis: WWCGD (What Would Cary Grant Do?)

Last night I ordered a Key Lime Martini. The recipe is vodka, creme-de-cacao, and lime juice. I love citrus juice in general, and it was that which enticed me.

[queue waitress’ voice in the Monty Python “Spam” sketch when a customer asks for a meal without Spam in it] Bleaaahhhh![/queue waitress’ voice in the Monty Python “Spam” sketch when a customer asks for a meal without Spam in it]

It was then I realized: Would Cary Grant have ordered a lime martini? The answer is obvious. When ordering cocktails, one must always ask oneself, WWCGD?
That is all.

Carry on.

Creme de Cacao makes it “key lime”?! Is the barkeep insane? If you wanted a lime martini you should have ordered a gimlet.

None of those things belongs in a martini.

That is all.

Gin or vodka and vermouth.

That’s all the EVER, EVER, EVER goes in a martini.

And that’s what Cary would have said.

Actually, Cary wouldn’t even have considered vodka for a martini. No one would have until James Bond ordered a “vodka martini shaken, not stirred.” in the movie Dr. No.

That is all.

I did ask for Bombay gin instead of the vodka.

Monkey, I think ‘key lime’ is just a kind of lime; ‘key’ presumably is in the sense of a small, offshore island in a warm lattitude.

Ay-men.

This calling all kinds of shit “martinis” is a nasty 1990s aberration that I hoped would be outdated by this point in the new century.

According to this sort of reasoning, you could shake up some rye with a dash of sweet vermouth, pour it into a cocktail glass with a cherry, and call it an “East Hackensack Martini.”

Or mix tomato juice with Worcestershire, tabasco, celery salt, and vodka, stir it with a celery stalk in a tumbler, and call it a “Sunday Brunch Martini.”

Not even a twist or an olive?

I second this suggestion. A well made gimlet is yummy.

I guess that wasn’t all after all. Sorry.

Carry on.

They call that a “Dickens Martini.”

No olive r’twist.

I mixed my wife up a martini the other night. She wanted to know what was in it, so I told her. She replied, “Oh, so it’s a gin manhattan.”

Isn’t cacao a chocolate flavor? Why would key lime themes have chocolate? Is there chocolate in key lime pie and that’s why I crave the damned stuff all the damned time? I GOTS TO KNOW!

I can only recall Cary Grant drinking Scotch. Although to be fair, when I’m watching Cary Grant I’m not usually looking at his hands.

Cary would have responded to the waitress’s rudeness by saying “I’ve suddenly turned gay!”, then would have stalked ex-wife Dyan Cannon dining in the same restaurant, quickly and discreetly held hands with Randolph Scott at a corner table, then filed suit against Chevy Chase for asking “what type of fruit wants lime juice in a martini?” on the way out the door.

Man, that’s just bad.

(And no, I don’t want a twist or an olive in my drink, thanks just the same).

According to the Esquire drink database, what is now known as a “vodka martini” was originally called a “Kangaroo,” so you may be right. I can’t see Bond (James Bond) walking into a bar, lighting a smoke, and saying, “A kangaroo, please.”

The cocktail I have been served under the name of a Key Lime Martini is made with vanilla vodka and Rose’s Lime–basically a genteel kamakazi–and was very good, if a bit too acidic for my tastes. It did taste almost exactly like key Lime pie filling.

I agree that a martini is gin or vodka and dry vermouth (although years and years ago, sweet vermouth was used), and these concoctions–some of them very tasty–although served in a martini glass, are rightfully called cocktails.

It is a chocolate flavor, but it’s white in color. My guess is that it’s included in the drink more fore aesthetic purpose, to give it a pearly green color that makes it look like “trendy”. Or maybe like something you’d see on a Star Trek episode. I wouldn’t be surprised if it glowed in the dark; the finished drink turns out to be that shade of green. It was terribly sweet as well. I expected something more like a standard martini but with a lime touch.