Let it never be said that math and statistics aren’t useful for real world problems.
Well, I guess I can get on board with that plan. So, in the case of a possible zombie outbreak, where do I requisition a BFG?
Mars base, of course.
Was this from The Mathematical Department of the Obvious?
Fast zombies or slow zombies? IMHO, a slow zombie uprising would be easy to handle. The fast zombie outbreak, however, I don’t think is survivable. There’s just no time to get those headshots off.
Bed Bath and BFG’s, silly. 
I think you mean “*Blood *Bath and BFGs”. Who’s silly now?! Huh? HUH?
It’s good to have these things sorted out.
I’m glad the Canadians figured out how to kill a supposititious thing.
Now, if they can only figure out away to kill Canadian Geese.
A what now?
Who would take advice on Zombie-Killing from math nerds? 
They’re a tad too obsessed with “brains” to be trusted.
No, to do it right you would need to get blind bids from companies to fight the zombies. The private sector can do this much more efficiently than the government but strong government oversight will be necessary. Of course special consideration to Zombie Eradication companies owned by minorities or women would get (what’s that banging noise?) special consideration but the city will be divided into zones where different companies will have the job eliminate (did a window just break?) circulation challenged Americans from the streets with proper oversight from a commission that consists of a panel with three people appointed by the mayor and three appointed by the city council and three people appointed by the governor. They would convene 3 times a montAAAAAAHHHHHHGGGGGGGHH!!!
Cleans sniper rifle
Zebra was a zombie!!!
One of the researchers spells his name with a question mark. WTF?
Basing it on swine flu seems ridiculous. The effectiveness of most contagions is that you’re exposed to a contagious person before they know they’re infected.
You know if it’s a zombie. You don’t let them bite you. In fact, I think in the event of a zombie attack, “nobody bites anybody” would be a good rule.
In real life, a zombie attack would be quelled easily.
The researchers’ models seem lacking.
They first posit three populations, the Human, Zombie, and Reserve. The reserve appears to be where dead people and zombies go before becoming zombies again. Basically, headshot zombies don’t stay dead; they can re-reanimate.
Their more advanced model adds the Infected, who are human, but are going to become zombies. That’s an improvement, but it’s dwarfed by the other issue.