Regardless, all of them are devoid of humanity. They’re Empty Nestors.
Notable that almost no Republicans are speaking up in support of Gaetz – except for Marjorie Taylor Greene, of course. The word is he’s below even Ted Cruz’ level of popularity with his colleagues and nobody wants to step up saying kind things about a possible sex trafficker (except for Marjorie Taylor Greene, of course).
Jim Jordan has announced his support for him. Of course.
Another great comment (sorry, I can’t remember where):
Matt Gaetz (forehead - par 6)
Beavis!
I’m just waiting for this fucknut to go full Councilman Dexhart. If it worked in Pawnee, it will work in the Florida panhandle.
To be fair, it was his birthday.
Here’s the scoop on the extortion scheme.
In 2007, a CIA agent named Robert Levinson went missing while on a mission in Iran. The mission may have been authorized or Levinson may have been acting as a rogue operative. Most sources think Levinson is probably dead at this point but some people apparently disagree and they think they have proof he’s alive. More background if anyone is interested
All of this, believe it or not, is related to Matt Gaetz getting in trouble for fucking teenagers.
Gaetz’s father is an extremely wealthy Florida politician. He was approached by people who wanted to mount some sort of extra-legal Soldier of Fortune mission to rescue and repatriate Levinson, which apparently carried a price tag of 25 million dollars.
These individuals that approached Gaetz Sr. were aware of the investigation into Gaetz the younger, which, according to documents released to the very conservative media outlet Washington Examiner, involves photographs and/or videos of Gaetz Jr. fucking teenaged girls.
The hucksters were peddling a bizarre fantasy - if Gaetz Sr gave them 25 million for this private military operation, Gaetz Jr. would become the public face of the Levinson rescue, making him the biggest hero in the history of heroism. There would be parades held in his honor and our divided nation would be unified by Butthead’s heroics. This would cause the American people to believe that punishing the hero Gaetz for the minor offense of fucking children would be a petty political move and the President would bow to public pressure and pardon him. Oh, and the government would issue a massive cash reward, giving Big Daddy Gaetz his 25 million back.
WINNING!
Yes, this was the brilliant extortion scheme. Only in Florida, no wonder the Trump family decided to call that dick shaped patch of swampland home,
Here are the documents from the Washington Examiner, I believe they were released by the Gaetz family who actually thinks it helps their cause. This is delicious.
More on the years of efforts to free Levinson, or, more accurately, to get rich people (like Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska) to fork over money to finance freeing Levinson. It sounds like these Floridian hucksters have made this into quite the cottage industry.
And once again, The Onion shows how blurred the line between reality and satire is.
“Sex bracelet” ?
I’m not believing pretty much anything from the Washington Examiner.
“Sex bracelets” are a thing/legend/whatever from the early 2000s. Reading the story I was like, oh yeah, I forgot about that whole thing.
I know they’re a lousy source and I hesitated to link to them just on principle.
But do you really think they forged the documents they published? The documents ARE the story, not the reporting behind them, and they speak for themselves and go a long way towards cutting through the vague bullshit that’s been thrown around.
And if someone else forged the documents and gave them to The Washington Examiner, that makes the story even juicier.
What I found particularly amusing was that the Gaetz’s thinks this helps them, but it actually hints that the case against Matt might be more lascivious than previous reporting hinted. I was thinking he just dated an underage girl, but this hints at sex tapes.
If WE publishes anything hitting liberals we’re (rightly) quick to discount the story without collaboration from a trusted source. I won’t mind seeing Gaetz get taken down by a tawdry scandal but I want to see the story collaborated before I put any stock in it.
The WE putting out a hit piece on a Democrat is different from them doing it to a Trump loyalist. It’s certainly reasonable to still be skeptical of them, but the fact that they’re turning fire on Gaetz at all is noteworthy, even if the allegations turn out to be bullshit.
My take on it is that The Washington Examiner didn’t intend for this to be a hit piece on Gaetz.
I reads like something that was given to them by a source that thinks this exonerates Gaetz. I think they think it exonerates Gaetz. This is an attempt by Gaetz or his surrogates to play the “This is a political hit job” card, even though no one is even claiming that the investigation itself was politically motivated. They’re just claiming that some con artists got wind of the investigation and decided to make a buck off it.
I don’t see a scenario where this story isn’t a significant development in a case we know very little about. If the documents attached to the story are genuine, it’s significant. If they are forged, it’s significant in a different way. Either way, if you are interested in what Gaetz is blathering about when he talks about being extorted, this provides clarification.
This aspect of the story really has very little to do with whether or not Matt Gaetz fucked one or more 17 year old girls. (I noticed he keeps saying it’s absolutely false that he had a relationship with a 17 year olds so I’m thinking she may be 15 or 16.) It’s a distraction.
I know I’m speculating a lot, but I love financial crime stories. I love unwinding the intricacies and I love analyzing the mistakes that make the plots unravel. A story like this is like a puzzle to me, and I like putting together the pieces and trying to fill in the blanks.
Which is perhaps even more reason to discount WE. I’m just uncomfortable giving them any kind of platform just because it’s making a politician I don’t like look even more stupid. Likely nobody (justifiably) gives a rats ass about what makes me uncomfortable but I’d like to see a more reputable source before I start speculating.