If we’re going full Florida novel here, I’d be rooting for Serge Storms to show up and take care of things.
Coleman still wouldn’t get laid.
Here’s an age-of-consent page that may be useful for the statutory rape/abuse of a minor aspect of this. (I haven’t vetted this page.)
That’s a given! 
The thing I find most amusing about the “extortion” angle is that the two businessmen who were trying to scam “Daddy” Dan Gaetz wanted the money because they were being scammed by an intelligence operative who had convinced them Levinson was alive. And that intelligence operative was probably being scammed by a source inside Iran, who in turn was being scammed by someone in the Iranian government.
It’s scams all the way down, a Russian nesting doll of scams. It’s so Republican.
It’s also funny to listen to Gaetz’s outrage after he spent years defending Trump when he engaged in implicit extortion time and again. NO QUID PRO QUO, Butthead!
Circling the drain.
I would prefer this headline;
Gaetz has no Ball
How about
Ball drops for Easter, not New Year’s Eve
And see:
You Nears Eve: Ball drops Gaetz.
I wonder if his girlfriend woke up this morning and walked around the yard collecting Easter eggs.
If we were living in a Starship Troopers universe, this child has already earned her full citizenship rights. Anyone disagree?
?
Didn’t he also recently get a photo op with three girls at some cafeteria table? Or was that way in the past?
So is he doing a “Hey I Ain’t Skeevy School Tour” or something?
If it’s this one, it was a few years ago:
For as long as Shoal River Middle School stands, they will tell of this day 
That’s the one I knew. Though searching he seems to have a few such lunch room pics, not all just with the girls.
What am I, chopped liver? 
Gaetz sent out his “military advisor” to refute the charges against him. The “military advisor” admitted that he hasn’t spoken to Gaetz in months, that he has no information as to whether Gaetz is guilty or not, and preferred trying to explain how he wasn’t involved in Gaetz’s activities.
What a nothingburger. And that’s the first time I ever heard of a Congressman having a military advisor; maybe that’s a thing (at least among the Chickenhawk wing of the GOP).
“Matt Gaetz never took COVID-19 seriously because she was a little too old for him.” – Stephen Colbert
If Matt Gaetz is ousted from Congress, he can always try a career as a televangelist. His hair and morals make him a natural.
Assuming the photo in that tweet is real and not a fake, I would adopt that young lady in a heartbeat. Of course, it’s clearly not necessary, as it is evident that she is already being raised right.