Maybe I'll lose weight. Maybe I'll gain inhuman monkey strength. Maybe I'll go nuts.

Maybe I’ll lose weight. Maybe I’ll gain superhuman monkey strength. Maybe I’ll go crazy.

Monkey-like Attributes: monkey stink

Thanks for sharing. That made my morning.

I read this yesterday. It sounds promising if it works, but he should probably supplement it with fresh fruit and vegetables. You know, like monkeys in zoos get to.

First draft of “Hard Candy Christmas”?

Thanks for the heads-up; that was hilarious. And as for the OP, two outta three ain’t bad! :slight_smile:

“Inhuman Monkey Strength” No way can I type that without laughing! I think we have a new catchphrase.

“Bachelor chow.”

hee hee…

That needs to be Weird Earl.

BF and I are waiting for the where the only entry is, “Monkey hate clean”.

I’m laughing so hard at this thing I’m crying.

He says the bag of Monkey Chow specifically says not to do that.

I’m surprised that any zoo would withold fruit from monkeys. Isn’t that what they live for?

Maybe MonkeyBoy needs additional foodstuffs beyond what the chow provides, since he’s not a monkey.

Well apparently all the people who work at zoos who emailed him told him that they fed their monkeys fruit, but he decided to keep to his original plan since he wanted to go “by the book” or rather, “by the bag”.

The bag also says the food is suitable for great apes. Great apes can’t synthesise vitamin C. Vitamin C does not stick around for very long in chow of any kind. The bag is wrong, and any ape that gets fed according to its instructions is going to die of scurvy.

Which explains why, although gorillas may be primates, they make lousy pirates.

[del]Ah, yes, I remember it well.[/del] How odd.

Well based on the monkeys who live on the Monkey Island at the Brookfield Zoo here in Chicago he should be able to supplement his diet with thrown Doritos, the occasional ball point pen, and red licorice ropes.