MC 300 Pound Jesus vs. Axe-Wielding Hitchhiker

And the hitchhiker is the good guy.

Axe-Wielding Hitchhiker Dude Saves Lady From Fake Jesus

Truth is stupider than fiction.

He had to specify it was a fake Jesus?

I want to PARTY with Kai!

Looks like Buddha’s advice about meeting the founders of religions on the road applies to more than just him.

“You hit that fake Jesus with a hatchet!”

“Fake?! Drat.”

Watching that clip, I guess you have to allow for a degree of exaggeration by the hitchhiker, given that “Jesus” lived to tell the tale. I don’t care if you do weigh 300 pounds, if you get hit over the head three times at full swing with a hatchet, you die or at least have serious life threatening injuries.

If you hit someone with the flat or back, they’ll be a lot more likely to survive.

Yeah I’m guessing it wasn’t the pointy end of the hatchet.

I want to use “Cool story, bro!” un-ironically for the first time ever!

Rescues PG&E worker from psycho

Rescues sister from rapist

Separated at birth?

That guy is awesome.

“If you’re Jesus Christ, man, fuck it, I’ll be the anti-Christ!”

Here’s the full unbleeped interview.

The only way to stop these tragedies is if there is a homeless man with a hatchet.

Apparently he did open the guys head. But the guy going over and masturbating in front of a school after running into the worker and being hit with a hatchet is just so, so very wow.

Smash. Smash. Sa-mash. Que the amber lamps.

This is what I came to post.

Fuck it.

“SMASH! SMASH! SMAAASH!”

¿Que?

Usually it would be the homeless hitchhiker that did something bad. Nice reading a story where its the driver thats crazy and the hitchhiker saves the day. No telling what would have happened otherwise. Those two ladies probably wouldn’t be alive.

My favorite explanation for his survival from another forum: “He has the impervious skull of a fundamentalist”.