McDonald's playland rant

The BBQ Pit
1

Growl.

Hey, you stupid parents with older, aggressive boys and girls, pay some attention from time to time. When your 9 or 10 year old deliberately kicks my 3 year old in the stomach in the tight confines of the plastic tunnels, and she comes crying to me, the least you could do is act like you’re paying attention. Yeah, you’re real good at invisibility - I never did figure out who the fuck you were, but you better have been there, it’s not a supervised drop-off location - and it’s not the responsibility of other parents to protect their kids from your precious bully.

And don’t try to give me the bullshit, glib, trite shrug-off about how kids will be kids and they have to work out their own differences by hurting each other - if somebody as big to me (I’m 4’10"/125lbs) as your kid is to my three-year-old was kicking, hitting and shoving me, it would be called assault or even aggravated assault, and they would go to jail. Why is it that kids are allowed, nay even encouraged, to work out their problems in ways that would land adults in deep shit? Kids are heathens. they have to be guided, taught how to work out differences. You, clearly, forgot to read that line when you got your job description.

And there’s another thing. Not about the parents, but about the structure itself inside the playland. They’re freaking opaque colored plastic two stories high. There are windows, sure, sort of. but they’re filthy and scratched. Useless. So if some big kid is beating up on small kids, nobody can see it, and the damned tunnels are so narrow that no average-sized adult can climb up there to intervene anyway. Nor can a small, pregnant adult.

At least the ball pits used to be cool - dirt, socks, occasional diapers and immortal hoaxes about rattlesnakes aside. Now all they have are those stupid video games, which the smaller kids can’t reach, and the bigger kids won’t share.

I hate it. Why do my children have to love it so?

2

I’ve always wondered how parents can possibly supervise their kids in those things.

But I’m confused – I thought you were in the hospital on complete bed rest until the baby is born. :confused:

3

I am. Actually.

I confess the incident in question occurred a few days before I got stuck here (note I couldn’t climb up into the structure myself due to ponderous belly). But it still irritates me.

4

Oh, OK. I didn’t think they’d let you out for a trip to McDonald’s!

5

Was The Hamburglar involved?

6

Playlands just plain suck anymore anyway. I can remember when I was but a wee lass, they had the giant hamburger monkey bar, where you could climb up inside and play fortress. They had the weird fishy looking characters on giant springs that you could buck back and forth on. They had an honest to god actual merry-go-round so that you could spin your little heart out until you puked up the cheeseburger (with actual melted cheese ) you had just begged your momma to buy. And a slide–a metal slide–that you could really slide down instead of scooching yourself along on it with your feet. And when you got off, you didn’t get a static shock from the first three things you touched.

The new ones may look cool from the big window outside, and the bright colors probably hide the fifteen layers of kid saliva and burger grease they’re slathered in, but underneath the gaudy cosmetic flash they’re just giant habitrails. Bah!

7

I used to have to clean those playlands when I worked at McD’s…suffice it to say I never let my kids go in them. They are disgusting!

8

I was once at McD’s with two friends of mine and their kids, in the room that had the playplace. Some kid, not with us, pushed “Hannah” (3 years old) aside somewhat roughly on his way into the habitrail (LOL, belladonna!). “Jenny” (not Hannah’s mom) got up and said to him, in a reasonable tone, “Hey, hey; don’t do that.”

I don’t know if the kid ran to his mom, or if she just observed this, but shortly afterwards, a woman strode up and demanded, “What did you say to my son?”

Jenny: I just told him he shouldn’t have pushed that little girl.

Woman: Well, excuse me, but I think I know how to discipline my child!

Jenny: Obviously not.

Woman: … [huffs off]

9

Chotii–my very first job was at a place owned by McD’s that was simliar to a now-defunct child-drop off place called Chuck E.Cheese. Our building was FILLED with multiple giant habitrails and believe me…even when I was 16 and a lot smaller than I am now but still nearly full-grown…I had a hard time getting up in there. There is no way a parent could get up in there. Eventually…due to lack of business…the place closed.
IDBB