Meals of death

In My Humble Opinion
81

I’m not a very fussy eater (hence the username), but there’s one thing that really makes me gag.

Summer Pudding.
For the uninitiated, it is made by lining a bowl with slices of white bread, tipping in some fruit, such as blackberries (but they have to have been stewed to the point where they are now equal quantities of watery juice, fibrous mush and woody pips), covering the top with more white bread and chilling it all in the fridge.

Then you turn it out onto a plate, slice and serve; watch in amusement as your guests squirm, trying to force down the yummy confection of wet bread, filled with inedible fruit waste!

82

Oops… forgot creamed corn. It’s like vomit, only sweeter! ™

83

I’m a really picky eater. I have a lot of problems with smells and textures. My motto: “If it smells bad, don’t eat it.” I used to have a really hard time eating any meat, but I’ve gotten much better in the past few years.
Things I can’t/won’t eat:
Onions, raw or cooked: To me, onions taste like body odor smells.
Mayonnaise: Oh, the nastiness. As a bonus, I married a man who puts mayo on everything (and since he would want me to tell you: Miracle Whip is not real mayonnaise!).
Hamburger: It’s a texture thing. I’ve finally gotten so I can eat a tiny bit of hamburger in a taco or taco salad. And yes, I will eat steak and roast beef. Just can’t handle it ground up. Same goes for any other meat. It’s all about the fat chunks.
Coconut: Again, texture. It’s one of those things you chew and chew until it’s totally tasteless.
Most veggies: Peas, green beans, cooked broccoli (love it raw, with dip), cauliflower (have you smelled that stuff?), and the Great Veggie Impostor, the tomato, unless it’s a tomato sauce or soup (no big chunks though).
Goodies from the Norwegian Grandma’s Kitchen: Lutefisk (how can it be healthy to eat something soaked in lye that smells that terrible?), head cheese, and blood sausage. I’ll take lefse any day though (without sugar, for those of you who want to eat it properly).
I could go on and on …
BTW, I first encountered ketchup-flavored potato chips in England about 10 years ago. Hey, they were better than the prawn-flavored ones. Bleccchh!

84

My meal of death will be anything that includes soy "meat"balls. After eating, the method of execution will be that I’m confined in a very small room, where my own massive flatulence, and the waves of deadly soy gas resulting from that, will quickly asphyxiate me.

85

There are very few natural foods I won’t eat, even durian. The first two or three bites of durian are kind of challenging (but not revolting), but if you keep going, it becomes quite good. The texture is fantastic - creamy, non-fibrous, wonderful.

What I can’t stand are faux-foods like

Velveeta and other “processed” cheese. Bland, yet smelling of vomit with a patently artificial texture.
Marshmallow whip. Gooey, diabetes-inducing cement.
Kool Aid and anything with artificial fruit flavoring. Tastes like chemicals, not food.
Chocolate “glazes” like the leathery plastic that covers Ho Ho’s and Ding Dongs.
Margarine. Who’d want to eat fake fat?
Any shortening-based icing. Like sugary wax.
White sandwich bread. It’s just paste!

86

This is one of the best threads ever!

I like the vast majority of what many people throw up over, but I do have some unfavorites.

1: Olives - never could develop a taste for them

2: Egg Drop Soup: I like eggs but not this conconction!

3: Canned cream of mushroom soup. Is this stuff even supposed to be eaten as a “soup” or just used for casseroles?

4: French’s Yellow mustard - Uck! - but I do like the spicy brown kinds

5: Miracle Whip - Ick- Just ick

6: Kraft Thousand Island Dressing and Kraft Italian Dressing. God these are awful

7: Iceberg lettuce and cardboard tomatoes. I love good lettuce and tomatoes but these two are gag inducing.

8: The white vanilla or chocolate "nougat " in the middle of cheap candies. Just awful. Makes you want to spit the damn thing out.

9: Bland, watery homemade soups made with turkey leftovers (another poster mentioned this). Who stole your taste buds?

10: Non-fried Buffalo Wings slathered with that vile red sauce - disgusting

87

I am an extremely unpicky eater. I will try everything at least once, and most of what I try, I like. Durian? Tripe? Bitter melon? All excellent. I will gorge on boiled cabbage, and follow up with pickled beets and pigs feet, maybe pausing to slurp the marrow out of a boiled mutton bone. I actually like foods with a slimy texture. The following, however, I consider absolutely disgusting and inedible:

-Chocolate ice cream (vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce is ok, though)
-Jello
-Grapefruit (tastes like bile)
-French dressing
-Cranberry sauce (but cranberries themselves are good)
-Raw carrots
-Artificial grape or watermelon. (The preceding foods I merely hate. These two, however, will actually make me recoil in fear.)

88

Offal=kidneys, brains, livers, etc.
Offal derivatives=head cheese, steak and kidney pie, menudo. Though I love a good pate.
Rodents=rats, rabbit, gerbils…
If I can buy it in a pet store, I ain’t eating it= dogs, cats, turtles…
Oysters=has the same look taste and texture as somebody else’s phlegm. Don’t ask how I know this.
Goat
Venison
"Chocolate" Soup and the like=Blood sausage, Black pudding, etc. Chocolate soup is a Filipino stew consisting of chunks of meat in a thick, brown, blood sauce. It’s given that name in order to trick unsuspecting Pinoy children into eating it. Mom says I loved it as a kid. Thank God I’ve blocked the memory of it.

Love raw cilantro, brussel sprouts, okra dipped in patis (fish sauce/salty fish juice), coconut, beets, creamed corn ice cream and mushrooms.
EvilGhandi, Yes, bagoong is not only a delicious condiment (esp. on sliced, green mangoes mmmmm.) it is an effective White Person Repellenttm. When you see one of us whip out that jar it’s to get all of you round eyes out of the room so we can play Blackjack, drink San Miguel and talk smack in Tagalog. :wink: Oh and Lup Chong is the bomb! I’ve got some in my refrigerator right now.

89

I must be one of the least picky eaters ever. Even if I don’t like something (e.g., brussels sprouts), I go back every few years and try it again to see if my tastes have changed. (The secret to making brussels sprouts edible for me was nutmeg.)

I love tomatoes, asparagus, broccoli, rutabaga (yum!), cabbage, liver and onions, etc. I like to eat cracklins, which is basically deep fried pig fat, with a little bit of skin on it. I can now eat anchovies, though they’re a little too salty for my taste. Cilantro is yummy too, and cinnamon is one of my favorite spices. I don’t drink much milk, but that’s more because it bothers my stomach sometimes than that I don’t like it.

I don’t go out of my way to find black olives, but I’ll eat them if they’re around. I love yams and sweet potatoes.

Grits (like hominy) don’t have much flavor by themselves, but if you put on enough butter and salt/pepper, they’re edible, if not delicious. I don’t eat much lobster, because it seems too rich and sweet for me, and I like crab meat, but I don’t eat crab legs because I can’t stand to look at Giant Bug Legs on my plate. (The one time I ordered them I had to hide them under my napkin before and after eating them. The meat was fine, but… Giant Bug Legs On My Plate… gack.

One thing I can think of that I absolutely will not eat, though: Miracle Whip.
I love mayonnaise. I used to eat mayonnaise sandwiches (two pieces of white bread with mayonnaise spread thickly in the middle.) Mayonnaise on soda crackers is also very good. One day at a friend’s house, I thought I was dipping into mayonnaise for my sandwich.

But it was that spawn of Satan, Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip is something I’ve NEVER been tempted to try again, to see if my tastes have changed.

Though now that I think about it, maybe I’m being close-minded…
Nah.

90

Miracle Whip just happens to be the ambrosia of the gods. While mayonnaise is the devil’s own bodily fluid.

91

Fluffernutters. Food of the gods and staple of any New England child’s diet. You don’t gotta like Marshmallow Fluff, but don’t question those of us who do.

Or we replace your toothpaste with it.

92

Now and as a child I adored most all raw vegetables, but couldn’t stand them cooked. Then I discovered … steaming the veggies so that they are al dente rather than boiling the life, texture, and flavour out of the them for 1/2 hour. I can’t stand canned vegetables … canned corn, peas, or beas are vile but fresh is great (or frozen corn is good too). But keep the corn out of everything else … I hate it mixed with stuff.

Frozen carrots have the texture of something spongy. (And I hate the frozen mixed veg with carrots, cauliflower, and broccoli.

Textures that inspire gag reflex: baked beans and cooked egg whites (but gimme runny yolks any day) and tofu

Any food tainted by the following condiments is inedible: mayo or miracle whip (although a little to bind salmon salad together is okay), mustard (only okay if included in a recipe before cooking), catsup (but I adore tomatoes), relish (and I love pickles)

The very smell of peanut butter disgusts me (but I love peanuts, peanut butter cookies, and peanut butter cups) - and keep peanuts out of my ice cream too! I also hate the smell (and look) of liver (and all other organ meats), and baccala (salt cod - a lovely croatian/italian tradition for Christmas eve - gag!)

Bananas are only good if slightly green when then go yellow with a few brown spots, they go into the freezer for banana bread

Mushrooms - they are fungus (and as my husband says ‘we have a deadly psychological allergy to them’). I’ve never understood people saying to me re pizza toppings, but mushrooms have no taste … if they have no taste, then why are you putting them on your pizza?

Processed cheese (kraft singles, velveeta, cheez wiz) smells like stinky feet to me (but give me most other kinds of cheeses!)

And most meals prepared by people who cook by what I call the binary cooking method ie food is not done and then food is done. Since is is binary, there isn’t a concept of ‘overdone’. People who cook using the binary cooking method always like to ensure that food is done so that it is not ‘not done’ so they typically cook it for longer than I deem necessary … cauliflower and broccoli do not need to be boiled for 1/2 hour (I remember being asked ‘they’ve been boiling for 1/2 hour, do you think their done?’ - gag!) I know it is important to make sure poultry is not underdone but when the overcooked turkey sucks all the moisture out of your mouth like saltine crackers (thank heavens for cranberry sauce or gravy) or when the leftovers are crumbly and resemble saw dust - perhaps the cooking time needs to be revisited. (I remember a close family member making a Christmas turkey that was golden brown on the outside but when she went to cut it (after letting it rest), the whole thing collapsed … she still doesn’t understand why it happened or the concept of overdone!)

93

Ahhh fluffernutters… The days they had Triple Decker Fluffernutters on the school lunch menu, no kid brought his own lunch. I think it was rule. :wink:

94

There are a lot of foods I don’t like. I admit, I’m a picky eater. To save time, I’m only going to hit the high points of badness:

Cilantro. This is easily the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted. It stinks, too; there used to be patches of it growing near where I lived and it was awful every time I wanted to go for a walk.

Capsicum/Bell Peppers. These are bad. Bad bad bad. It’s very hard to describe how bad they are. Bitter, acrid…something like that. It makes me wonder if I have tastebuds that other folks don’t have, because I don’t think this is a taste it’s possible to acquire.

Salmon. I don’t like foods that taste like spoiled fish. Call me crazy, but if it tastes like rotting fish I’m not eating it. Yes, I’ve tried, but my gag reflex literally won’t let me swallow it. I can’t eat sushi rolls because the nori tastes fishy.

Papaya. I’m not fond of most tropical fruit and melon for their nasty, perfume-like flavor, but Papaya adds a scent of feces to the mix. I have a sneaking suspicion that papayas start to go bad before they get ripe, and most folks just don’t have sufficently sensitive noses to be able to tell.

Mushrooms. The flavor is pretty bad, but the texture is worse. It’s like rubbery ghoul-flesh.

Doritos. So vile. Pretty much any flavored chip makes me ill. In fact, I’m feeling a bit like puking just thinking about it. Must…clear…mind…

95

Well, every man’s trash is another man’s treasure. For the most part. I would love salmon with cilantro and a bowl of sauteed mushrooms, with dorito fondue for desert. Mmmmmm…

Everybody’s bagging on cilantro. Time for a cilantro defense from another picky eater. I just love the way it smells. To me it’s a bit like spiced rain.

I used to think salmon tasted spoiled, too. Maybe all that cilantro destroyed taste buds or brain cells, but now I think it’s pretty good.
But I’m sick of sushi. Fact is I groan any time the group I’m with suggests we go out for Japanese. Japanese food is just so bland and inoffensive - what’s there to hate? But there’s nothing to love about it either.

Papayas and mangos do seem to have that odd shit smell to them, don’t they? When I was cutting up a mango, it smelled like somebody loosed an SBD. Cleared the room in a hurry.

Gotta stand up for the mushrooms, too. Such a range of flavors you can get out of those little guys. Meaty, nutty, fishy… mmmmm. Give em to me raw or cooked, I’ll eat them on just about anything. Even peppermint stick ice cream.

Ah, Doritos. I love anything with artificial-flavored orange powder on it.
Well, almost anything.
I doubt you can redeem a stuffed pepper with orange doritos dust.

96

I don’t think I dislike any food as much as some of you.

I’d rather not eat licorice or anything with a gummy texture.

I love the smell of coffee but dislike the taste.

Oh and I got sick as a child eating Thin Mints, so the idea of mint makes me ill, but it’s nothing inherent in the flavor.

97

chicken? people hate chicken?! blasphemy!!

the king of fruits in this here region is the durian. it smells like gas. a popular delicacy from hong kong is the smelly tofu. someone described it as similar to the smell of a dead rat left to rot in the drains for days.

i don’t like to eat stuff that smells like vomit - certain type of cheese or preparations of mushroom.