Mean Mr. Mustard’s List of Original (I believe) Cinematic Sure Things

Ahem.

When a woman is sitting on a comfy chair or couch and drinking a cup of coffee or tea, she will cradle the cup with both hands.

Especially if she is sitting cross-legged.

mmm
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If a character, especially an expendable character, sees a danger approaching fast (e.g. avalanche, toppling building, giant monster) they will usually freeze in terror rather than trying to flee to safety. If they do flee, they will run in the same direction as the approaching danger, which will be traveling faster than the character.

Sorry, I did do a cursory scan of the thread to see if it had been posted already, but overlooked that.

No problem. Great minds, and all that.

Any weary GI who sits down to “finally write a letter home” will invariably be sniped before pen touches paper.

Corollary: The only GI missing at Mail Call when a “letter from home” finally arrives will be the one lost in the latest engagement.

Whenever someone whose head is completely obscured by a helmet does something awesome on their motorcycle, they will remove it revealing they are (GASP!) a woman with long flowing hair that spills down (slow motion is optional).

The dowdiest of secretaries will be revealed as incredibly gorgeous when she removes her glasses and lets down her hair.

I thought those were all librarians…

Unless it’s the protagonist / main character, in which case they will easily be able to outrun whatever natural disaster is barreling down on them, such as Chris Pratt outrunning the pyroclastic flow in that Jurassic World movie or whatshisname outrunning the sandstorm in Hidalgo.

I thought that the Black Guy always died first in a horror movie, but that’s been disproven.

It’s only 45% of the time.

Have we forgotten wearing a red shirt* on Star Trek means you’re not coming back from the planet.

*Odd man out, extraneous character, not important to the plot. Extra(don’t quit your day job, just yet)
I know you all know what the red shirt means. But I know 5 people are gonna cite Episode?? Season?? when it happened to be a green shirt or an alien with fur or scales.

Which is why Scotty is always up on the ship getting the engines running instead of in the landing party. :wink:

Do I know my Dopers? Yes, yes I do.:blush:

2 minutes, amazing.

Unless it’s a true crime show, in which case it’s arsenic poisoning.

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Did they smoke after sex? :face_with_raised_eyebrow:
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Proper lubrication is the key to prevention for that.

If the character is Native American, there’s a 96% chance they will be steeped in mysticism or grew up on ‘the rez.’

Usually both.

Any character (especially a cop) who’s days or weeks away from retirement will be dead by the end of the movie.

Anyone riding a motorcycle will put their helmet on, but not do up the strap.

If you call your friend and say, “I’m on to something. I’ll meet you at …” then you will die before you make that meeting.

The motorcycle is optional