After many years of trying to fufill one of my dreams and after looking in the Philadelphia area for one I have finally found “the beast”
A Mechanical bull…
In Philly…
For one night…
Guess what I’m doing tonight…
Getting drunk and riding the bull, or most likely it will be the other way around. But seeing how I don’t want to look like a complete fool (Hah!) I’m just wondering if anyone has rode a mechanical bull and if so any tips?
After tonight I shall be pursuing my next dream which is to drive a steam roller.
Tip the guy who controls the mechanical bull before you get on.
He will be in complete control of your destiny.
Stretch your legs down and forward and keep them there. Resist the urge hike a leg up if you feel you are falling. Stretch down.
Lean back slightly and keep one arm out straight to the side for balance.
Move your hips like you were having sex in motion with the bull. This will keep your balance, make your ride smoother and hopefully stop you from compressing all the discs in your back to the point of rupture.
You need thigh-high leather boots with spurs, a microminiskirt, and a leather push-up, studded bra. If you’re male, then stuff the bra and add some makeup and a wig. (Which will be sure to comically fly off, I’m sure…)