Meditaion: How is it done and does it work?

Factual Questions
1

Wow, I think this is my first GQ ever. Unfortunatly my wife has left after 4 years of marriage and I am having a tough go of it. I was wanting to possibly try yoga or meditation to “cleanse” my mind of the issues and pain. My questions are as follows:

  1. Can anyone do it? The reason I ask is I am by nature a VERY pessimistic person and am unsure if this plays a role in the success or failure of mediation.

  2. Does it work? What are its general effects?

  3. Are there any websites that you could recommend that would provide basic instruction as to how to actually accomplish the meditation.

  4. Finally, are there any other “self-help” techniques for clearing your mind and keeping a level head? I am sure I am not the only doper to be going thru this difficult life change and you probably understand why I want to clear the noggin. I dont drink a whole lot so that is not an option.

Thanks in advance for your help gang.

2

Cold Fingers Suck.

Could a mod correct the spelling in my thread title please?

Thanks

3

Absolutely anyone can mediate. There are dozens of techniques and thousands of books that will teach you. The most important thing is to get into a comfortable position; one you can stay in for some time, and allow yourself let go of the little things. I like to find a dark, quiet room away from distractions, light a candle, close my eyes and start by concentrating on a small pool of water in an idyllic, natural setting. I slowly allow myself to become more and more relaxed, I watch ripples in the pool steadily grow fainter, until the water is perfectly still, like a sheet of glass. When I get to this point I’m ready to start gently contemplating my life. I’m a very rational person so I talk to myself in a logical way when I mediate. I have a friend who is just the opposite, she likes to think about warm, fuzzy feelings like love, hope, and joy and other beautiful things in the world. I prefer cold, hard facts. If I have a problem I try and think about it as objectively as I can to find the best solution, and when I do I take comfort in having resolved the issue in theory. I can’t move onto the warm and fuzzy feelings until I’ve done this, but I do get there eventually, and its truly a wonderful feeling to let yourself stop thinking about the pain and hardship you have suffered and just take pleasure in knowing that beautiful things like love and hope exists at all. I finish up by returning to the pool and letting myself feel soothed by its peacefulness, often I like to picture trees swaying lightly in the wind as well. By the time I’m done I feel refreshed, relaxed, and in control of my life. If you put your heart and soul (and mind) into meditation it can be immeasurably therapeutic.

The hardest part of meditation is to not allow yourself to become bored with your routine, every few weeks or months I have to change things up because I’ve become too accustomed to my routine. Meditation takes discipline and concentration, work hard at it and the rewards will become apparent.

“Peace comes from within, do not seek it without.”
-Buddah

4

Anyone with a reasonable ability to focus on a single task should be capable of meditation. It takes regular practice like any ability before one can achive any proficiency at it. Don’t expect to notice results the first couple times you try it.

I’m not sure what exactly you want it to do so this is sort of difficult to answer. It works in the sense that you can gain some internal peace
and a more relaxed outlook from meditation. You won’t gain psychic powers like, levitation.
A good bout of physical work will achieve almost the same effect though so if the mediation doesn’t work, I suggest a punching bag.
Meditation has helped me relieve headaches, go to sleep, calm down when I am very angry or frustrated and relieve pain from minor injuries.
It hasn’t worked too well on migraines but that’s usually because at that point, I can’t focus well enough get anywhere.
I don’t practice very often though.

A quick Google search on “meditation techniques” pulled up a lot os sites but I don’t have any personal experience with any of them. Just ignore the obviously new agey sites and you’ll still have plenty of reputable resources.
http://stress.about.com/cs/relaxation/ seems like a decent choice.

The above site discusses several different methods. I don’t recommend drinking and it will surely interfere with your attempts to meditate.

Make sure you have or can create a place you can go to that is with minimal distractions and spend about 10-15 minutes you on your first few attempts. Unless you are already a patient person, 10-15 minutes will be hard enough. Try to do this everyday or as frequently as your schedule allows.
Sorry to hear about your troubles. I am currently going through a divorce. It helps to have a hobby or other interest you can enjoy. Playing pool has helped me maintain much sanity.

5

Picture yourself in a cool mountain stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from the outside world.

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear…You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding underwater!

LOOK!–It’s the person who caused you all this stress in the first place! What a pleasant surprise.

You let them up, just for a quick breath, and PLOOP! Back under they go!

Allow yourself as many, deep, soothing breaths as you wish. There now…feeling better?

-src: unknown

6

Sorry to hear about your current situation; good thoughts are coming your way. I do meditation as part of yoga, which doesn’t involve any spiritual or religious dedication. I concentrate on breathing and the feelings inside my body after stretching, bending, etc; I haven’t done any visualization techniques like cainxinth talks about, although when I have done them they’ve had about 50% effectiveness. I personally (and that’s the key; I’d say try a few different ways and see what works best for you; those websites might be helpful in gathering an array of meditation techniques) like the concentration on my breathing, deep breaths holding in for a brief count and then exhaling completely. I didn’t expect it to work at first, but it has a remarkable soothing and calming effect, and I feel and breathe much different now than before.

7

Sorry about your situation, Phlip.

I used to teach meditation in my intro psychology classes. Some pointers:

  1. A dark, quiet, peaceful setting is essential. Pick somewhere you won’t be distracted by other people, ringing phones, or thoughts and associations that might distract you.

  2. I gave my students a choice: either pick a monosyllabic, nonsense word (how about “gry”? :D) or focus on your breathing. Most students went with the classic “Omm”. That’s fine, but you don’t have to choose that. Choose what you feel comfortable with. That’s the whole point of the exercise. If you choose to repeat a syllable, you’ll be doing this quietly, in your head.

The temptation is to count the number of breaths or times you say the syllable to yourself. Try not to do this. You want to focus on the sound and sensation of the syllable or your breathing.

Pace yourself, or rather, don’t care about your pace. Breathe naturally.

Though you may be tempted to “clear your mind completely”, don’t try to. It is impossible to completely clear your mind. You need something to think about. That’s why we offer the choice; focusing on the breathing or repetition of the syllable gives your mind something to play with, so to speak.

  1. Should thoughts pop into your head (“Oh, I have lunch with Doug tomorrow!” “I left my wallet on the hamper again!”), let them drift out slowly. Imagine that your mind is a room with opposite doors at each end. Just as one thought drifted through one door in your head, let it drift out the other. Tell yourself to make note of the thought, but that you’ll attend to it later. (Assuming, of course, that it’s not something really, really urgent.)

  2. The point of meditation is to relax. Thinking about anything that causes you stress or excitement might therefore be a bad idea. However, some people feel they can think about their current problem or situation better this way, so you may want to consider giving it a try.

I don’t tell my students what to think about. If they wind up thinking about the sights and sounds and smells of a peaceful rainforest, then they do. But I never give them explicit directions. I think it’s more important that the person come up with whatever mental images are most relaxing to them, and these things vary from person to person.

  1. How long it takes for a person to feel relaxed depends on a lot of things. If it’s the first time meditating, you might be worried that you’re not doing it “right”, or that it’s silly, or you might just not be into it. Don’t worry about it. Like anything else you do, meditating takes time, trial and error, and practice. I realize that that makes it sound like work. Hopefully, it won’t be. The point, as I said, is to come away feeling relaxed and peaceful inside. Hopefully, it won’t cause you further stress.

It may be difficult to get yourself relaxed enough to be able to meditate properly. We allow the students to meditate for five to ten minutes; to really be effective, we’d prefer twenty to thirty minutes, especially since it’s likely to be their first time doing it.

You may find yourself so relaxed that you fall asleep. :slight_smile: There’s nothing wrong with that. It’ll help you if you’ve gotten enough sleep, of course, as you’ll obtain the relaxation benefit without having snoozed the time away (you’ll have relaxed in a way that doesn’t involve sleeping). Try not to let it happen too often, though.
Does it work? It depends on what you want from it. It’ll relax you. But you can’t go into it expecting some tangible result. It’s more about the process than the outcome.

Your attitude towards meditation will indeed have an effect on it. I can’t tell you to be optimistic. I can’t tell you that meditation will definitely help you. That’s up to you. If you want to try this, you have to be willing to give it a shot and be patient. You won’t feel meditation’s effects the first time, or maybe even second or third time. You just have to keep trying it.
I recommend starting meditating say, twice a week. Find a good room, find a comfortable position, and close your eyes and relax. Take as long as you need to feel truly relaxed; don’t mind the time. When you’re done, make note of roughly how long it took you to become truly relaxed. You’ll know for future reference how long a block of time to set aside for meditation.

With time, this time may become shorter. You’ll gradually be able to become relaxed quicker as you become accustomed to meditating. Still, don’t rush things. Take your time. And enjoy your time.