“If you can pull it off act like you’re carrying on a little conversation with the shotgun even”
This literally had me shooting soda through my nose.
This. I used to have a neighbor who’s dog would try to leap over the fence and bite me. I like dogs, but that one would scare the crap out of me everytime I went into my back yard. I talked to the neighbor who said her dog wouldn’t ever bite anyone. I called Animal Control who said that I should build a taller fence.:smack:
I bought one of the hand held things that was supposed to keep wolves at bay…not that I would have trusted it for that…then everytime I saw the dog, I used it. After about a week, the dog would whimper and run when he saw me.
I’ve read good reviews about people who mount automatic bark stoppers in their yards as well. Happily, all of my neighbors are considerate now, so I have no advice.
Who said it was for the dogs?
Well it would solve the problem, wouldn’t it?
[Moderating]
We don’t need this sort of “advice” posted on the boards. Don’t do this again.
[/Moderating]
If the mods will permit a GQ-ish answer; It won’t work. I’ve tried this when dealing with a dangerous animal problem. It’s almost impossible to get the required amount into a large dog. Also, when rats get sick from poison, no one takes them to the vet. When your neighbor’s dog gets sick from poison, suspicion is likely to fall on you.
Speaking from my own experience with a neighbor’s barking dog*, the only way to solve it is through the authorities. In my case, the continual calls to police and animal control made her life miserable enough that she finally quieted the dog.
Dog bark = Police & animal control called. Every time. Eventually the authorities get tired of dealing with it. The large fines levied by the city helped my neighbor see the light.
*Not the same dog as the first paragraph. 'Nuther place, 'nuther time.
Don’t try to out-crazy the crazy. If this guy is behaving violently towards you already when you’ve done nothing buy slightly annoy him there is a chance that if he thinks you are threatening his life he might see that as a reason to try and kill you on his own or set your car on fire or something. If he is just a bully you might be able to threaten him like this but if he really does have a severe anger management problem or is actually mentally ill you will lose this battle.
Perhaps carry pepper spray with you when you leave and set up an alarm system on your property for when you are gone, and then report, report, report. Document everything. Set up a camera to tape everything that goes on in your yard. You might also end up deciding that your place isn’t worth all of this effort and move somewhere better. Whatever you end up doing make sure it is legal and doesn’t physically threaten your neighbor or his property/family/pets/etc. or you could end up losing a court case in the future.
Ohhh, I know those folks!
Thanks everyone for all your creative replys. I too love the conversation with the shotgun idea.
We own this condo…and have HOA’s. The CC&R’s have “no teeth” and little has been done from that front.
I own a dog (quite breed) and think the no bark devices may hurt him?
I have been video taping when I enter or leave my home or when I am on my patio.
I have a splendid and radical idea. Because of the decline in property values, we now do not have any equity in our home. Walking from this property and doing a short sale is the ultimate revenge. Lowers their property value. They paid top dollar for their place. How could we sell this place anyway? We would have to disclose this situation which could result in someone backing out of an offer or no offers at all.
We have excellent credit and this ding will not hurt us much. It is very freeing to entertain this idea.
Still love the crazy shotgun lady idea:D
Oh, this is not going to end well at all.
A bark stopper would be a heck of a lot cheaper and easier than walking away from your own property
If the “ding” will not hurt you much, move out and rent it to a gang member. Or a cop or code enforcement officer. Or a convicted pedophile that is listed on all those websites. Is your neighbor a racist? If yes, rent to a large family of his preferred target of ignorance.
I’m sorry for your woe, but comforted that you didn’t spell it “The Douche Bag’s.”
And lands you in jail for animal cruelty, where apparently, you belong.
We have a member here who has some of the worst neighbours, too - I believe they were the constant weed-smokers. Maybe they need a new place to live. 
But seriously, we’ve had insane neighbours in the past, and “You can’t outcrazy the crazy” is probably the best advice in this thread. Either go the legal route and take it to the wall that way, or sell your house and leave.
ETA: There’s no shame in admitting defeat - winning against crazy people usually leaves people wondering if it was worth it, as everyone stands in smoking rubble.
LOL This board absolutely cracks me up with the recommendations.
Or maybe a professional MMA badass.
let him assault you and get it on video. nothing gets rid of troublesome neighbors quicker than an agg-assault charge
oh yeah, pocket sized digital voice recorders are CHEAP. forget the video camera. too obvious. just tape him threatening you and head over to the cops. I don’t know about where you live, but ‘terroristic threat’ is a class C felony where I live.
I haven’t had much success with bullies in particular but I have watched a lot of TV over the years. Various strategies that have worked:
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Have a sit in next to his property with a few of your closest friends and sing in locked arms until he sees the error of his ways.
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See if there is a maintenance man in your your complex who can teach you some form of martial arts. Challenge your neighbor to a match some time in the future provided he leaves you alone long enough to train properly.
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Befriend a really big tough guy and keep him hidden out of sight. Wait until the neighbor starts something, challenge him to a fight, and then switch places.
Do people put their names on mailboxes anymore?
Spend the money to buy the letters to spell out “The Douches” and in the dark of night, apply them to his mailbox.