I am curious about one thing. I had thought that Timothy Dalton had a reputation for being an obnoxious drunk. Was it so when he and Oksana were together? I guess I’m out of the Hollywood gossip loop.
I think it is a fair question as well. This isn’t a situation where she would have to move back in with mom and dad or have to go to a DV shelter. This woman is set for life financially by virtue of having Mel Gibson’s child.
She could go get a restraining order, get the house, a monthly stipend, and a child support payment that probably exceeds most of our annual incomes. Even in California, she could probably qualify for a concealed pistol permit due to the nature of the threats.
She doesn’t have a long history with Gibson and walking away would seem like the sensible thing to do. Why stay in his house and only report this six months later?
I know, battered woman syndrome. I just don’t understand it.
Thing is, I DO understand “battered woman syndrome”. I just question if she, given the situation, has the characteristics of it. 
And I resent being told, when I dare to ask those questions, that I am ignorant or blaming the “victim”.
I am not a huge Gibson fan, ftr. I’ve liked some of his work over the years, but shaken my head at some of his ideas even before he started spewing wildly (like his opinion that his wife WAS going to Hell despite being such a great person, because she didn’t share his specific religious beliefs :eek:), but dammit, I am not going to automatically assume that HE is 100% at fault based on 1. these tapes 2. his gender 3. my own pre-formed biases.
Perhaps his ex-wife suffers from battered woman syndrome OR, just maybe, he has changed dramatically recently and she still loves him for the man he IS/used to be, all bigotry aside, and is honestly seeking to help him through this crisis. What possible incentive, mental illness/BWS aside, could she possibly have for denying abuse which occured or otherwise supporting him now?
As I said, I heard PAIN and sickness in those tapes and regardless of my view of him or his work, I hope he gets help. For his sake and the sake of those around him.
Child support is a right of the CHILD, people, not the mother. She isn’t going to get anything “for life.” She might get a settlement for the assult, but she isn’t going to get any kind of palimony or personal suoort.
Where did people get the idea that child support is for the mothers, or that a father being expected to take responsibility for his children equates to the woman “getting” something?
Also, boo fucking hoo for his pain and sickness. Give me a fucking break. She’s a “gold digger,” and he’s “in a lot of pain,” but nobody’s justifying anything. Bullshit.
I’m beginning to think your dislike of Gibson is less for DV issues than for basing Passion on your self image. Get off the cross. The ONLY people who equate “gold digger” with “people who are okay to batter and abuse” are from those bashing those who suggest that maybe money was a reason this woman had unprotected sex with a very rich married grandfather who had known mental and anger management problems.
Robert Blake’s wife, Bonnie Lee Bakley, WAS a gold digger and starfucker- of this there is absolutely no doubt and she in fact admitted as much. She was so determined to marry a celebrity- ANY celebrity- that she claimed her first child belonged to Jerry Lee Lewis (it didn’t) and took the surname Lewis for a while herself, she supported herself by conning lonely old men out of money and selling nude pictures of herself, she later stalked a list that included Porter Wagoner, Chad Everett, James “Roscoe Lee Coltrane” Best (how D list can you get?) and others when she found their addresses, she was banging Christian Brando at the same time she was banging Blake and initially thought her last baby was with him, and used when she learned her daughter was in fact Blake’s she used it as leverage to get him to marry her. Okay- that’s about as gold digging/starfucking as you get, neh?
SHE DID NOT DESERVE TO BE KILLED. If he killed her- and whether he did or didn’t there’s sure as hell no better suspect- he should be in prison; he never should have shtooped her without protection in the first place and brought the situation on herself. Neither did she deserve to be beaten. For her particular case due to her known criminal activities and sociopathic personality I’d have to hear the circumstances before I’d come down hard for verbal abuse, but I would defend her right to safety.
Oksana, worst case scenario, is a far less sleazy personality than Bonnie Lee Bakley. As with Robert Blake, Gibson knows where babies come from- he’s had bunches of them- and that unprotected sex with a woman of childbearing age is way up there, so he’s as much to blame for a surprise baby that hooks him to a woman he’s only known a short time for the rest of his life as she is, there’s no arguing that he’s an asshole. But the equation of “saying she’s a golddigger” with “blaming the victim” is ludicrous and ridiculous and simultaneously holier-than-thou and assholier-than-thou as is claiming that not only are you an expert on abusive relationships because you’ve known one BUT that you’re more of an expert than others who have endured them and have different opinions AND you’re so absolutely brilliant a psychiatric diagnostician that you can say with absolute clarity that she fits the profile perfectly and so does he while hearing only one side of the story and that through tapes that one expert has already claimed are doctored and that Gibson claims were released after he refused to pay her $10 million, claims which have absolutely no possibility of proof or relevance because… uh… he was mean to her…
So out of curiosity, IF his allegation that she demanded $10 million from him were proven, would you concede she was a gold digger?
I don’t dislike Mel Gibson. I actually don’t feel any anger for him at all. I recognize an abuser, but I don’t hate him. What I’m angry about is the relentless attempts to dehumanize the victim and deny her victimhood. There is more sympathy for Gibson in this thread than there is for the woman he beat the shit out of. You and others keep saying he wasn’t justified, and she didn’t deserve it, but in the same breath you call a a “gold digger” (with NO fucking evidence). It’s backhanded. It steps on any sympathetic sentiment, invalidates it and make it sound hollow. Why the hell is it so important to you to trash this woman? Why do you hold onto that contempt so tenaciously? Why do you need to call her names in every single post?
It’s also disingenuous to cast those kinds of sanctimonious, moral pronouncements on the women you mentioned, and then accuse somebody else of being “holier-than-thou.”
I hope family guy some a skit with Mel Gibson, Christian Bale and Alec Baldwin in it.
One thing, as a 40-something, intelligent, self-supporting woman and mother, I don’t
automatically assume that any similar woman is a “victim”. BullSHIT. She had money. She had friends. She had a very brief relationship with an abuser, not a long-time codependent relationship.
She could have left at ANY fucking time, imo.
My saying this in NO way absolves Gibson of HIS behavior. It just acknowledges that it is possible the situation is more complex than just “he’s a horrible monster and she is a completely innocent victim”.
I am not attacking her. I don’t KNOW her. Neither do I know Mel. Nor do you. But so many here seem so ready to attack Mel Gibson and anyone who in any way suggests he might have ANY standing in this (“fuck his pain”) and defend her automatically.
I call sexism, religious bias, and “P.C.” dogma re’ “victimhood” and domestic abuse.
Again, like the Sheen, Baldwin and Blake situations, the REAL victims are the children. Jesus God, to have to have shit like this in your background…
(
She’s a victim by definition because she was abused, not because of any presumptions about her gender. And I never said he was a monster, so don’t make shit up. That he is an abuser is beyond question. That she is a victim of an abuser is beyond question. Trying to denigrate either one of those unquestionable facts as “PC” is fucking stupid. They are not opinions. They are are not a result of any ideology. He is an abuser. She is a victim. Nothing else is relevant.
I just gotta comment on this. Yes, he seems fixated on this in his out of control/furious/intoxicated moments she captured on tape. I have long been of the opinion, as woman, that “blow jobs” are actually a much more intimate form of sexual activity in the minds of many women than fucking.
I know that I LOVED giving oral sex to my DH, but would fuck a stranger before I would suck him. Maybe odd, but JMHO, and that of many women according to studies and my personal experience.
And many men really LIKE oral sex, same as many women do. Duh!
It speaks to a power dynamic on one level, and it also speaks to a refusal of one party to do something that is widely considered a given…a deal breaker if not forthcoming…in contemporary relationships.
I hear his raging about this issue as an expression of his frustration and anger re’ her (according to him) refusal to support and love him and be intimate with him. He is fixated on this manifestation of a much larger issue, imo. (and yeah, he probably loves getting blown, who doesn’t?).
It’s probably unfair to use this against him, all things considered. In what we assumed was a private argument/conversation, how many of US might raise some recurring sexual dispute and how often might it be an indication of much larger issues, not the specific act involced???
As I said, he’s fucking off his nut, obviously, but being upset because your lover won’t perform oral sex or is distant or emotionally unavailable is a perfectly legit. complaint shared by many perfectly sane, non-abusive people of both sexes. ’
Oh, excuse me, I forgot that you are always RIGHT, based on FACTS (according to YOU), and anyone else’s experience or opinion which contradicts yours is, therefore, always WRONG. :rolleyes:
And FTR, get over yourself already (everyone else has); I was not addressing YOU when I used the term “monster” (not quoting you or even referencing you, just a word I used in MY post re’ someone I knew personally, thank you very fucking MUCH :mad:) Wasn’t addressing you at ALL, in particular, ftr; maybe someone has delusions of grandeur? (hey, YOU feel qualified to diagnose others you don’t know with absolute certitude…I claim that qualification for myself as well. Cool! 
:rolleyes:)
Poor Robyn. I bet she thinks she’s going to get her husband back because he’s finally realized that the younger model isn’t a replacement for their love. My bet is that she’s just a convenient accessory to help him look innocent and victimized. I fear for her - I don’t think she’ll be safe with him.
Thank God he’s leaving the country though. Oksana can breathe for a while, and get back to caring for her child. I ope she’ll be able to enjoy some of this time.
Come on now, Dio. I’ve seen the size of some of these “child support” awards. Are you telling me that it takes 30 grand a month to support a child? The child support award is based solely on a percentage of income and has absolutely zero to do with the expenses incurred in raising the child. It’s backdoor alimony in a lot of cases.
I don’t mean to hijack the thread, but go to some online child support calculators, put in an income of 10 million per year and see how much “child support” that you would pay.
You are right, that the payments won’t be for life, but they will be for the next 18 to 22 years, and a prudent person could easily be set for life with that money.
I think he’ll do alright back in Australia.
Perhaps he recognizes that his career is effectively over, that there is no recovery to make. He clearly loved Robyn and their family, for many years. It’s pretty easy to think that the homeland might be a tad more forgiving, seeing him as a victim of the Hollywood lifestyle and a gold digging, conniving, loose woman. He may well find respite back in the arms of his first wife, the embrace of his first family, his devout religion, and his homeland. Hell, it might even be healing for him, who can say?
The question will be how powerful is the lure of fame? Will he be able to go back and have a quiet life, or does he ‘need’ to be in the papers, the limelight?
Who she really is, should become clear in the coming years. Will she fall off the radar, quietly raise her child in obscurity? Or will she parlay this into some sort of celebrity?
And what if he lays low, disappears off everyone’s radar, never has another outburst of bad behaviour? Will he have access to his daughter? Will the courts make her share custody? It could still get quite messy, I think. He will have to make a financial settlement, it’s true. (She hardly needs his money though, so I’m not seeing that accusation. Plus I see no reason why his child shouldn’t be given support in direct ratio to his income, pretty standard, thus $30,000 a month.)
And what about when the kid gets to be of age? Will they read about it, hear the tapes? Yikes!
It’s the Daily Mail. If they said the sky was blue, i’d look up to check.
I know that it is pretty standard, but it is also ridiculous. Has the price of diapers and formula gone up recently? Don’t you think that Mom is using most of that $30k/month for herself?
Yes, abused spouses usually do not up and leave the relationship immediately upon the abuse, regardless of income. It usually takes some time, and usually takes more than one attempt at leaving. Some abused spouses never leave despite repeated attmepts, and some abused spouses never attempt to leave. BTW, I am a divorce lawyer.
It’s not a child, it’s his child. HIS child is entitled to support concordant with his income. It’s not a fucking dog, you’re talking about, it is a father’s OWN CHILD, and it’s the CHILD who has the right to the money, not the mother.
As it happens, I pay child support. My child may be the one who has the right to the money, but it is my ex who gets and spends the check. The same ex who makes more than I do, who is married to a guy who also makes more than I do, and who constantly nags at me for money over and above my support check. Funnily enough, my daughter spends the summers with me and I take care of all her needs during those months while still paying support to my ex. The cost of raising my daughter is far less than my monthly support payments. It is exactly a form of back door alimony.
But don’t let me interrupt you after you got all done up in your shining armor to do your Sir Dio, champion of women and children schtick…as you do in all these threads.
You may have a history of abuse, but that isn’t why you are a putz.
I fail to see any point in any of that. If you don’t want to support your children, don’t have them. I don’t see why you think the income of your ex’s new husband is relevant at all. Why should he be responsible for supporting your child? You owe your kid that money. Your ex-wife doesn’t owe it. Her husband doesn’t owe. It’s your own debt, your own responsibility.