Men: If you were found guilty of intelligence leaking...

In My Humble Opinion
1

Inspired by everyone’s favourite gender-bending intelligence leaker.

So, you’ve been stitched up, caught selling pictures of Obama in his underpants to WikiLeaks. For such a heinous act you’ve been sentenced to 35 years in prison, not a day more and not a day less. You might have heard of the prison, it’s called “Shawshank”. The motto is ‘discipline and the Bible’, although the unofficial motto is ‘beatings, brutality and bumrapes’ and they’ve confiscated all the posters of starlets. If you currently possess your virginity (no, your other virginity!), then you won’t for long.

BUT! There’s a way out. Not out of prison, you’re going to be banged up regardless. However, you could find yourself genderly confused and go instead to a high security woman’s prison. However, you can’t be a man in a woman’s prison! You’ll have to have the surgery - lose your boys, have dumplings added, hormone therapy and all that business. We’ll also tell your family and friends so they know where to find you. The good news is there is 0% chance of you being bumraped in the showers.

Do you go to Shawshank and face The Sisters, or go to the Max Security Woman’s Prison and face the sisters?

2

Considering that the long term result of a brain/body gender mismatch is generally death, I’ll take option III: suicide.

3

Isn’t that the long term result for all of us?

4

Depends on the false assumption that there isn’t regular sexual victimisation in women’s prisons, which there is.

5

:rolleyes: No, death due to emotional instability is not the “long term result” for most people.

6

I guess you never saw Born Innocent.

7

I’ll pump iron and cultivate a really creepy smile DON’T TOUCH MY WAFFLES, MOTHERFUCKER thanks, buddy.

8

Depending on the prison, female inmates are often at high risk of being sexually victimized by male guards.

9

In practice, I’ll end up killing myself one way or another. But as an ideal, I’ll take the full prison sentence.

10

Suicide is the best option, but I would also burn my hands on a hot stove top first, just because.

11

I know this is a hypothetical, but I feel compelled to point out that Chelsea Manning had talked about her gender dysphoria well before sentencing, and will not be transferred to an “easier” women’s prison. She didn’t bring it up to make her sentence easier, and in fact, trans inmates frequently experience worse abuse in prison than cis inmates do. In addition, in American prisons it’s extremely difficult (essentially impossible) to get SRS during your incarceration.

Again, I realize this is a hypothetical, but it’s so opposite to reality I had to mention it.

12

I’m pretty sure you can be sexually assaulted as a woman in a womens prison.

I have no desire to have this assumption tested firsthand.