After a year of trying to pester my boyfriend into running with me, he gets into boxing and he’s all about it. Well, fine, but it’s hard to pry him out of his cotton, and I keep telling him that he has got to get some technical fabrics, so yesterday we were at Dick’s and I offered to buy him some good running shorts.
It was like taking a delicate Victorian lady short shopping. I had to ARGUE with him to get him to accept a pair above the knee. JUST above the knee - no thigh. I tried to persuade him into a “medium” pair - not short like mine, not manpri, regular short length. He was Not Having It. He says it grosses him out when he sees guys in short shorts and he won’t wear them if it will gross other people out. I pointed out that these were NOT short shorts and he said they were short to him. I asked him if it wouldn’t be damned annoying having all that fabric waving around, and he said he didn’t care. His bathing suits are similarly modest.
What the fuck, guys? I’m not asking for Thomas Magnum (well, I am, but I am realistic in my expectations), I just want practical shorts and is it so bad to show your legs? He has nice legs! When can we expect the pendulum to swing back to some sort of normalcy?
It’s not all men, it’s just him. For regular shorts just above the knee is perfect for me. For athletic stuff I like something a little shorter. I do have a pair a little too short, though. When my boxers stick out the bottom, there’s a problem.
Im going to take a guess here and say your husband is between 20-30. For men of my generation (myself included), shorts that are far (more than a couple inches) above the knee are very strange feeling. Unless he is doing something where the difference is notable, he’s not going to wear short-shorts.
ETA: Also, that weird strip of tanline between where athletic shorts stop and regular shorts stop is weird. (If you have it.)
Shorts in humid heat make sense. I guess. You won’t catch me in them, cuz, you know, skin cancer and human bot flies :p.
But in all other situations they are contraindicated. Cold weather? Too cold. Brisk weather? Too cold. Nice weather? Never know when it’s going to get cold. Dry, desert heat? You shouldn’t be exposing yourself directly to the sun where your cooling sweat will instantly evaporate - those Bedouin know what they’re doing.
Nope, shorts are bad. Unless you are a nudist, who like stray breezes on your junk. In which case you shouldn’t be wearing anything.
Or women. You know, because they look good in them and unidirectional objectification perpetuates the species ;).
I run and bike a lot and have no problem wearing shorter running shorts (as well as spandex bike shorts and so forth). Doesn’t bother me a bit. Wearing baggy shorts for those activities doesn’t feel good to me.
Something you could have him try is a pair of compression shorts under the running shorts - something like these:
Gives support to the muscles and dangly bits, provides coverage down to above the knee and they’re generally longer than most athletic shorts so he can feel that his modesty is being preserved or whatever the mental issue is. They wick moisture away and help prevent chafing (if you got him out for a long run wearing his baggy cotton shorts he’d probably switch to synthetics as fast as his rubbed-raw thighs would carry him). Watch the NBA and you’ll see plenty of players sporting this look so he can feel it’s a cool fashion statement as well.
Short shorts on men are disgusting. Your husband is right. he doesn’t want to run down the street looking like he just stepped out of a Wham video. He’s showing good sense. I don’t even like to wear anything above the ankle. Anything above the knee makes you gay. This is guy logic. Don’t try to reason with it.
Really? Because I’d say he sounds like a fucking baby. They’re running shorts fer chrissakes, they’re supposed to be that way. You look more retarded running around in that cholo-on-easter getup that he probably prefers. And the hipsters have all adopted the dolphin short look, look at any American Apparel catalogue. So it’s hardly as if this is some unheard of attire for his age group. Or at least among people brave enough to choose not to look like the same generic schlub.
It’s actually hard to find athletic shorts that aren’t secretly culottes. Real shorts are easy to find in a normal length, you just have to know which brands to shop for. But I go to athletic wear stores looking for something inexpensive and they’re all below my knee. It’s very frustrating for men who have some sense about what looks good. Does anyone know a brand of athletic shorts for men that are normal length?
REI’s house brand is fine, or go to any running store. I’ve also had good luck at Target.
If you’re shopping at one of those generic big-box all-purpose “sport mart” type places it can be a crapshoot. Lots of basketball shorts, plenty of stuff for women but the guys’ athletic wear doesn’t always appear to have been chosen with actual athletics in mind, more fashion statement. Of the major name-brand stuff Nike is decent (although it can be a little pricey).
Last I checked, he was boxing. No reason to call him a baby for having preferences. Basketball Players are plenty athletic, probably not babies, and they don’t wear running shorts.
