I’ve done this two or three times. Once it was because we hadn’t used enough lube and it suddenly hurt A LOT RIGHT THERE, and the other time(s) because I’d hit my head on the wall or something, and it hurt more than the sex felt good.
No one I’ve been sleeping with when that happened had any trouble stopping immediately and asking what was wrong.
It was a long time ago. She wanted to pick a fight & had picked that exact moment to do it (she definitely had planned it).
I stopped, got off the bed & then left the room.
Its happened a couple times. I have no problem stopping. She’s a great woman, and I love her. I dont even need to know why, since I know she will more than make up for it.
I would expect a full refund.
Of course I stop. Something is clearly wrong, and to continue, even if greatly frustrating, is irresponsible. I might be causing damage.
I was under the impression (the last I read anything about it) that the Assange charges were related to him continuing with sex after the condom broke, and I think in the other case not putting/keeping the condom on when she thought he had. In those cases, speaking as a woman, I’d be going “stop, and get off me now” if Mr. One Night Stand thought going bareback was A-OK.
With my husband, it’s been intense pain that caused it the few times I’ve had to say that, and he stopped immediately and with great concern.
The details seem a little confusing to me from what I read, but my impression matches yours. The condom broke in one instance and he didn’t stop and in the other instance he didn’t use a condom after she’d told him to use one, and he kept going anyway.
The fun thing about a one night stand is that you know if they don’t want to use protection with you, then they’re probably not using it with anyone else either. Hello, STI.
Yeah, exactly. Oh, and I forgot to add that apparently going non-protected when protection is requested isn’t legal in Sweden, from my vague understanding of the explanation if the charges. So it’s not just that the gals got annoyed with him and told him to dismount, but that he wasn’t using a condom (or an intact one), the women went WTF! and he kept on going.
Ditto.
As the OP, I’ve been thinking about your problem and I have to agree with you. There is a significant difference between “Stop” and “Stop, get off of me”.
I suppose I should have made a provision for that in the poll.
Furthermore, the tone expressed by the terminator has a lot to do with my sense of degree of need to cease and desist.
Noone has challenged my poll on tone.
Having said that, I think we’ve opened up a whole new can of worms that the “no means no” crowd simply does not want to entertain.
.
No, not really.
For a message board that wants to talk about rape on a daily basis, there seems to be a great deal of ignorance here on the topic. There is no new can of worms. The “stop, please get off of me” scenario is something that is discussed quite frequently in rape education circles. I’ve stood in a big crowd of college students during a rape prevention intervention and the organizer called out “If you are in the middle of sex and your partner tells you to stop and you keep going, is that rape?” And several hundred college students yelled back “YES.”
Because it is. Sex is an activity, and one that may need to be stopped. Once penetration has occurred it doesn’t become a free for all, which is something anyone involved in rape education grasps.
It seems as though every day here there is a new thread by some new guy declaring that he has discovered some angle or insight into rape that no one has ever discovered before. Hey, wanting to examine the issues and try to understand things better is great, but the best starting point is education on what is actually out there first.
You know what? Life is easy when you’ve dismissed all the mitigating factors that goe into a decision.
You want a guy to stop fucking you and he continues for several seconds. Have you been violated to the point that Interpol needs to put out an “All Points Bulletin” ?
Its one thing to assert that a man who continues fucking you for one , two , ten or twenty seconds after you ask him to stop is an asshole, and I certainly believe the longer he continues the more of an asshole he really is, but does the offense require the full resources of the international community as in the case of Assange ? And make no mistake, I think the guy is a creep.
Yeah. It’s interesting that the whole new angle seems to be something along the lines of, “What if we didn’t make a big deal out of rape” or “Groundbreaking new idea: sometimes victims’ actions do contribute to rape!” But these all seem to be the same rehashing of fairly traditional ideas.
I’m pretty sure that the women who had to deal with that particular crime, as well as the “no means no community”, had exactly jack shit to do with this turning into an international manhunt. He has allegedly committed what, in Sweden, is a crime - having sex without a condom when condom use was requested. In one of the cases, he apparently lied about even putting one on, according to what I’ve read.
So not only is this not just a “they said ‘stop, get off’ and he took a couple seconds to register” situation, but his level of prosecution wasn’t created by women marching in the streets.
I think my SO would choose #2.
I remember one instance where I froze, wrapped my arms and legs around him and whispered “STOP!” I thought I heard someone enter the apartment (while my roommates were out of town) and momentarily freaked. He stopped for a few seconds, we listened, locked eyes, and started up again.
I’m sad there’s so much coitus interruptus going on though 
It usually goes like This.
Start at :20
*actually, not. The theme of the thread just reminded me of this clip.
Been there, been told that.
Stop and withdraw… to a safe distance.
Which statement is only slightly tongue-in-cheek. 
Once had a lengthy relationship with a woman whom had a history. Most often, she was more sexually aggressive than I, but she was subject to flashbacks and panic attacks related to those flashbacks. Only correct thing to do was to break contact and give her a goodly safety zone until she could climb back down. Then we’d see where things went from there. Sometimes we were right back at it, and sometimes I’d need to sleep on the couch. shrug Whichever was appropriate.
Likewise, I briefly had a relationship with a young lady wom was epileptic. Petit mal seizures about six or seven times a day. Very disconcerting mid-coitus - for both of us - let me tell you! Standard response when she stopped responding was to withdraw, make sure she was safe, then wait.
Based on our usual mode of coitus, he’d be the one stopping, not me. Even so, he’s not in the habit of suddenly stopping, so I’d assume something was really wrong.
Happened to me once with an old friend with benefits. I thought I was gonna die for the couple seconds it took for the sound of the needle scraping across the record to fade. I stopped and pulled out immediately. We talked about what caused her to sudden slam on the brakes, resolved the issue and then went back to a much more satisfying conclusion about 45 minutes later.