Menal illness affecting a loved one

Sorry if this isn’t really GQ material, but I really need some help here and feel that to post this under the heading mundane trivialises it.

My girlfriend has had major problems with her mental health for about the last 3 years.

It began before I met her after a particular trauma in her life, the details of which I do not feel comfortable divulging without her express conscent.

She has been diagnosed as suffering from “psychotic episodes and depression” and prescribed antidepresants and antipsychotic meds the names/doses of which I cannot recall at this time.

She is a very inteligent woman, currently working as a trainee soliciter. She has always driven herself very hard and achievement is of paramount importance to her.

Over the last 2 weeks her mental state has taken a severe turn for the worse. The trigger for this seems to have been Mothers day. This is upsetting for her as she is mixed race Brazillian/Scottish and was seperated from her mother as a baby when her father returned to Scotland.

I don’t know a damn thing about psychology but the lack of her natural mother, coupled with resentment towards her stepmother seems to be a major issue for her.

Tonight has been particularly bad for her. She has repeatedly stated that she wants to die. She feels devoid of hope for the future, her achievement trip means that she feels she is a failure in her work where she is not performing to her potential due to her illness.

Horribly she also feels she is failing me in our relationship because her meds make her tired and she often has to goto sleep very early and has little energy whereas I have problems sleeping and often stay up till very late and like to go out often.

Let me make this clear right now. I love her very much, and while I would prefer she did not have this burden to carry I want to help her shoulder it.

She has had very shoddy treatment from those who should be assisting her. I called a bunch of hotline type services for her tonight and intend to make goddamn sure she is seen by someone who can help tommorow (It’s 12:15 am here right now so most of the numbers I called either rang out or were answered by machines)

I just feel useless. I wish I could say some magic words to make her pain go away, she says that being with me helps but she seems so inconsoleable it actually brought me to literal tears tonight.

I guess my General Question is how can I help her?

If any of you have experience of these problems either as the person experiencing the illness or trying to support one who is please reply.

I could really do with a little help right now and hope I may find it here.


Mods please delete one of the threads I have created. I kept getting “remote server timed out” dialogues in Opera 7.0.1. Evidently one of them got through despite reporting otherwise before I got the confirmation page.


I think you’d find some helpful advice in the MPSIMS forum, ** milo minderbinder** – but supporting your girlfriend goes a long, long way toward helping her, believe me.

Try reporting your post to a mod to see if they think it should be moved, and to delete the other thread.