Re: What can stores that are (see Virginia law courtesy of Bricker) immune to some charges do…
As Bricker said, I’m sure their immunity goes only so far as to the reasonable execution of their duties. If they say “I suspect you may have stolen something” then that would likely be okay, to proclaim loudly “Aha! You are a shoplifter, I have proof” would likely not, if they didn’t have such proof.
I also imagine their rights would apply only if they had reason to suspect you. If they tried to detain every 500th ‘X’ where ‘X’ is a group deemed likely to shoplift, I’d imagine their rights would be significantly (ie, totally) lessened. Also, if they detained you without telling you why.
Similarly, if they touch your shoulder and tell you they saw you steal something and that the law allows them to hold you, and asked you to come, that touch, though potentially assault in some cases, would be allowed. If they clubbed you with a can of beans and dragged you off, it wouldn’t. Much like self defense is a defense against assault charges, provided it was provably self defense and the actions taken are appropriate (ie, no .44 magnum, as mentioned).
These rights actually seem similar to what I recall as being citizen’s arrest laws. If you are right, and you detain with a minimum of force, someone fleeing a crime, you can’t be held (and this is all ‘I think’) liable, but if you’re wrong, wow, you’re in for a world of legal hurt.
But, on the general rights of the stores… If they don’t stop you going in, they can’t do anything except ask you to leave, with the possible exception of laws that let them detain you when they have proof of shoplifting. Behaving in a suspicious manner is not proof. They’d have to actually have seen you pocket something, preferably on camera.
As for your specific case, once you bought the items, you can do anything, or place them anywhere. (With due regard to public decency laws.) They could ask you to leave the store and not return if you don’t comply with their voluntary (ie, no legal force) measures, but they can’t search you or detain you just for refusing…
Allowable force would, IMHO, be any necessary to remove yourself from the area, or any force comparable to what they used. If he grabbed you, moving his hand forcibly would be okay, breaking his arm would not. If he struck you, striking back would be okay, etc. At this point it’s basically standard self defense rules. (Assuming you don’t fall under a specific law, like the ones Bricker quoted. But, even so, they would likely have to inform you of the law, just hauling you off, even with proof, and holding you, without telling you why, would likely go far beyond any exemption they might have.)
But, the best way, that I’ve seen, of dealing with these people, is to demand that they search the bags of everyone. This works for me because I am in a target area (young males) and I’m often asked to check my bag, or to show the contents, when they’ve just let an older woman with a purse walk through without being searched. I point out that small items are valuable and a purse could conceal a large ammount of stolen goods, and that I’ll make a big deal out of the discrimination angle (“Why are you letting her through, you didn’t search her. Are you saying only young men steal? I want to talk with a manager, NOW”) and basically make it not worth their time, without actually refusing. That makes it hard for them to kick me out, because I haven’t actually refused to comply, and also makes enough of a scene that they usually drop it. Without needing to resort to any legalities. Just shame them into being quiet.
Yes, it is a pet peeve of mine when I’m searched and other people aren’t, just because my shoulder bag isn’t standard, yet a purse is.