Merging and the use of Flashers

The BBQ Pit
41

I’ve been doing alot of rural-highway driving this summer, about 500 miles a weekend. I have some stuff I’d like to add here.

  1. It’s a big fucking highway, do you need to be 20 feet behind me, at night, while we are both going 85 through cornfields? I am not a pace car, so find your own piece of road and GET OFF MY ASS!

  2. The left lane is for PASSING. I don’t care if you drive 75, and think no one should drive faster. If you aren’t passing, move the fuck over into the right lane. If you are passing, I will happily slow down behind you and maintain a safe distance while you and I pass the truck/bus/whatever in the right lane. When you are done passing, and an oppertunity presents itself, move the fuck over so I can pass you, whereupon I too will move to the right lane and then we will all be on our merry way. If some Porshe wants to then blow by me doing 110 in the left lane, no problemo.

  3. Use the goddamn turn signal. Hyperelastic’s remonsterations not to the contrary, it does not require a full body workout to extend a single finger and activate the turn signal. It isn’t like you have to climb out on the moving car and light a lamp. Just give me a flash or two so I know what you are doing. I don’t even require a wave.

  4. In stop and go traffic-Stay in your goddamn lane. (Unless you are exiting or there is an accident of course and need to get over). I have watched this for years, you can change lanes all you want, it makes little or no difference. In an hour of true stop and go traffic all those lane changes, if you time them all properly will net you a 1/4 mile, at the most. Once we resume speed you have gained about 12 seconds. 12 SECONDS! towards your destination. So do everyone a favor, and stay in your fucking lane. While we are talking about stop and go stuff, leave some room between you and the car in front. Isn’t it better to creep along at 15 mph without riding the brakes all the time than to zoom up behind the car in front of you and then sit at a complete stop? Observe the truckers young grasshopper, they will often slowly roll along, neither accelerating, nor brakeing, too much. Learn from them, they drive a hell of alot more than you or I do.

  5. Merge properly, like everyone has been saying. Your car is actually capable of accelerating faster than a glacier, and I promise you it won’t hurt the engine to goose it all the way up to 3500 rpm on the ramp. I can also promise you that almost all cars slow down faster at highway speeds than they accelerate, so let Newton help you out here and carry some kinetic energy into your merge. If you need to tap the brakes to slip in, that workes better than mashing the gas, or worse, doing nothing and driving on the shoulder for an extra 1/4 mile like a fucking idiot.

  6. Do not stop on the left shoulder. Barring a total fucking meltdown of every mechanical system in your car, or some obstruction on the right, get on the right side of the road before you pull over to readjust that used mattress you have tied to the roof of the van, ok? And don’t stop on the back of the crest of a hill either.

Wew, I feel better.

42

At rush hour here in Indy sometimes the interstate traffic is not flowing so people trying to merge often have to stop on the ramp. My pet peeve is when people stop and wait way too early instead of using ALL of the merge lane. Then traffic backs up all the way back to the cross street. And what’s with the people who won’t let someone on in front of them? It’s not that difficult to alternate, but there’s always someone who is not going to share the road or others who jump in when it’s not their turn. Oh, to be able to telecommute!

43

I do not understand the reluctance of people to let people driving faster get ahead of you.

I happily let them in front of me.

If there are any cops checking for speeders up ahead then I am safer because the cop will have pulled them over. Don’t laugh. It works that way about once a year for me.

Another point people forget…sometimes people need to be in a hurry. I had to rush someone to a hospital once which was only about 3 miles away. (the guy was a delivery driver and, while his hand was on the back delivery door of his truck, a car clipped it {squirm ouch!}. I watched in disbelief for about 5 sec and realized he was confused and in shock and nobody seemed to be in a rush to help him. In fact, people just walked by him)

I flashed lights, honked the horn and drove aggresively to get around. People still slammed on brakes to ‘teach me a lesson’ and so forth. If I could have punched them hard in the face, I would have, the bastages.

When someone is driving, honking and flashing lights don’t worry about teaching them a lesson. Pull the heck over and let em by.