Living here in Western PA is like living in the 1950’s and I hate it when the real world encroaches on our corner of the boonies: our area has had two robberies in the past few days. A crime wave right at Christmas.
On Sunday someone broke into my co-worker’s neighbor’s home, while they were at church, and took their two shotguns and a safe with all their family’s important documents. These folks are Amish, just married in their early 20’s with little kids, have no money (or electronics or drugs or jewelry).
This morning someone broke into anther family’s home, took all the Christmas presents, took all the electronics – Xbox, Wii, games – and then tore apart the bathrooms looking for prescription drugs. Thankfully the kids were at school and the parents at work.
News travels fast here, especially when everyone has unlimited texting, so now the town is in an uproar. We’re being warned that people are watching your routine and are waiting to rob you blind. It doesn’t help that we have police protection only right in town: if you live in one of the townships you have to call the State Police and they are 20 miles away.
So Merry Christmas you fucking thieves. Just because you are thieving out here in the country doesn’t mean you won’t get caught. People here have lots of time on their hands and they pay attention to what’s going on at their neighbor’s house and they like to talk to the cops. The cops have lots of time on their hands to track your asses down. Plus, do it again and you’ll find out lots of people have guns they are not afraid to use. You know there are a lot of deer around here and I hope one jumps out at you when you’re taking your haul. Also, watch for the turkeys they’ll fly right into your windshield. Every other person who thinks they can come here and be a lowlife has either gone to jail, hung themselves, or been run out of town, so stay the fuck away. Rural retribution is a bitch.
What makes you so certain the thief isn’t a local? I’ve lived in country towns, and i went to school with lots of people who lived in small country towns, and for all their down-home friendliness, plenty of small towns have their share of petty crooks.
All true, but I’d think that if the criminals were local, there’d have been some indications previsouly - Small, less bold burglaries. Plus, a local would know that there’s not typically a whole lot of fungible goods in an Amish home.
Blech. I know (on a smaller scale) how it feels to be robbed near xmas since someone ganked 50 bucks from my checking account through paypal and I STILL have no idea how they got my password. If I was big into holidays (I’m not) I’d be really depressed this week. sigh.
Thankfully it was immediately flagged as fraudulent and I’m only a couple days away from having Paypal put the money back into my bank account. But robbery the week before Christmas, what a shitcunt thing to do.
Nitpick: If nobody was home, it’s a “burglary” which is a crime against property. A “robbery” is a crime against a person by taking stuff using force or fear against the victim.