Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, and with all due respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. Please also accept our wishes for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally-accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country, or to infer that the U.S. is the only “AMERICA” in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of cell phone provider, computer platform and/or operating system, or sexual or gender preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is intended, but not warranted, to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. Notwithstanding the foregoing, in no event shall this wish be construed or interpreted as a warranty, and the wishee hereby waives all warrantees, of any kind or nature, express or implied, including, but not limited to, warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose.
I personally find this very offensive.
Same to you.
Well, I don’t own a cell phone. Of course, that means that you are not wishing me a Merry Multicultural Winter Celebration. Shame on you.
Rico,
Can I send your OP to friends? I love it!
Hey! What about us non-lawyers?
You asshole, what about our friends in the southern hemisphere? Don’t they count? are you hemispherist? just because their seasons are different doesn’t mean they’re wrong.
Greed, unfettered capitalistic greed. Doncha know that’s society’s whole damn problem?
I think I want to print that in my cards for next year…
I think that’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever said to me.
Rico, I, uh, I nice you, I happy you. Kind you.
Gee, I hope I didn’t come on too strong or anything.
Like. Like. Happy. Nice you.
Happy Jingly Tinklies!
And to all a good night.
Member FDIC. Batteries not included.
While others have asked, I am not so bound by legal-ese. I am blatantly copying and pasting this as my holiday E-greeting.
Which all by itself demonstrates the depth of my shallow.
Look, for the last time, it’s not “Merry Whatever” it’s “Happy Whatever.” Happy!
Fuck you too!
From
~The Southern Hemisphere
Do I have enough smileys?
I don’t find this thread very funny.
Disclaimer: if you didn’t understand that the above post was my way of kidding around, you seriously do need a life.
And Merry Fucking Christmas, okay?
Merry Fucking Whatever right back atcha PRR.
And your disclaimer applies to this post as well, my friend. 