QFT.
Sounds like you haven’t listened to metal in the last 20 yrs or so.
I have been alive for twenty years. It seems that I just so happen to have not come across much metal that falls outside of the Power Metal genre.
You owe me a new keyboard 
A few months ago I spotted a copy of “Curling 2” in the super discount rack at Fry’s. $0.98, I think it was. As a joke I sent it to a friend of mine (hockey player and video game fan). I just sent him that link to so he can listen to some ass-kicking music while playing.
Because of my fatal attraction to Debbie McCormick, I find a claim of Metal Supremacy by a Canuck band to be bogus.
But that was effing great!
Okay, now I’ve seen everything.
Well, let me help you out with a link to this thread that we did a few months ago. Scroll down to post #12 & 13, and you’ll find some links to other types of metal. I also posted a couple of links in #29.
Hope you enjoy.
Yeah, isn’t the OP mocking “Stairway to Heaven”? Except for the tigers.
I shortened the excerpts of the Dream Theater and Dio songs quoted in the OP. When quoting from song lyrics, please don’t use more than one verse, and link to an outside page if necessary.
Am I the only person who actually likes Dio and Dream Theatre then?
I tend not to be genre specific in my musical tastes these days and listen to what I enjoy, whether it’s popular or not.
It’s also hard to have a go at Dio as he was one of the pioneers of metal, without Sabbath, Led Zep and others much of todays modern metal wouldn’t have exisited.
I’m not a great fan of the Beatles, but I do accept that without them we wouldn’t have had the musical revolution that lead to a lot of bands that I do actually like.
There is a lot of “bad” metal, probably less so now than in the 1980s when there were a lot more cheesy bands than now. But I still prefer the “power metal” where I can understand the vocalist (even if the lyrics are about rainbows and tigers), rather than all this grunting and shouting crap that gets played a lot nowadays.
Agreed. Dio, Bruce Dickinson, Rob Halford…these guys had amazing voices that they showed off well with the “power metal” song structure (more melody, less speed and fuzz). I don’t go for the machine gun pace guttural growling.
throws empty Aquanet bottle at the kids on the lawn
You want to talk about the line between real and parody metal blurring? Then let’s talk Dethklok. Simultaneously a cartoon, parody metal band from a late night show on Adult Swim and a live band that has released two albums and is about to go on tour with acclaimed (and very real) metal band Mastodon.
Jack Black AKA Tenacious D AKA School of Rock AKA Brutal Legend
At least they seem to know what eight-enders are.
Hammerfall: the team with the last rock thrown in an end is considered to have the “hammer”.
That is hysterical! You gotta love it when they don’t take themselves too seriously. All the more enjoyable.
Thank you very much for that.
For the win:
Steel Panther - Death To All But Metal (NSFW)
Sorry, Hal, but Steel Panther is definitely not FTW. They are such a contrived commodity of an act that they have been the butt of jokes since they first came to the stage. Not only are they a manufactured band, they are a manufactured parody of a manufactured parody band.
They are very heavily promoted, tho, I’ll give them that.
Dethklok is win, because they parody the style while paying homage to it. Steel Panther is more like the brainchild of drunken frat boys, IMO.
Exactly - the lyrics may have been a bit on the cheesy side, but it was perfect for its time. All the bands mentioned (are near and dear to my heart) but are also about 20 years past their prime. And I would still listen to this before Kayne west any day.
Sarah Silverman is right. Those guys are butt metal.