Timothy Huffman’s penis was denied a right to free speech on cable TV by the Michigan Supreme Court in their letting stand a lower court ruling. Huffman claimed his penis was “a stand-up comic.” 
A stand-up penis act? Were they all one-liners?
[sub]I have no idea what that means, and yet, it had to be said.[/sub]
Well, at least they avoided a potential cock-up. It’s a pity the comedian got shafted, though.
It took balls for Huffman to do this, but unfortunately he’s just all nuts. The idea was half-cocked from the get go. But I disagree with the ruling; if this type of programming doesn’t belong on Pubic Access TV, what does?
In late ‘04, Huffman’s Penis’ stand-up career really took a nose-dive when people felt he was resorting to prop-comedy during his bit on airline peanuts; in reality, it was just shoddy camera work when the camera man accidentally panned down to his balls.
Late in Huffman’s Penis’ career, substance abuse took an adverse effect on his performances; he had trouble remaining erect at a show in Tulsa. Also, his timing was off; he would often ejaculte the punchlines pre-maturely, other times they never came at all. Once, in an cocaine-induced rage, Huffman set his penis on fire; this would later become part of the act: “When your running down the street and your penis is on fire, people get out of your way.”
Huffman’s Penis reportedly turned down a $10 million dollar offer to take over the title role on Seinfeld, after Jerry Seinfeld decided to walk away from the hit NBC show. Huffman’s Penis was foolishly holding out for more money, arguing that Ted Danson got paid more. The network never countered.
Always interesting when unsettled legal questions get brought to a head.
However, I must take issue with this:
He’s wrong. Nudity as part of a performance is a First Amendment issue. The Supreme Court has repeatedly ruled that nude dancing is entitled to some constitutional protection. It is hardly a stretch to find that a performance piece using one’s genitals as a character is entitled to similar constitutional protections.
I’d see it more as the straight man.
He’s just hoping to get a hand from the audience.
Word is, all the other public access performers subbitted friend-of-the-court briefs opposing Huffman. Said it was a hard act to follow.
Daniel
That’s where he made his mistake. Instead of claiming his penis was a comedian (does he really want people to see it and laugh?) he should have claimed to be a Puppetry of the Penis imitator. Speaking of stretch…
IANAL, but Tim McMorrow is wrong. The First Amendment protects the expression of opinions, not the mere holding of them without expressing them. And if Timothy Huffmann is expressing an opinion by appearing naked on TV, then that’s protected – or at least, it ought to be.
So Penises have no right to Free Speech. They also can’t vote, can’t drive, can’t own property, and have to be completely covered if they go out in public.
When are we going to stop treating them like second-class citizens?
[old joke]
It’s a rough life being a penis. You live with two nuts, your neighbor’s an asshole, your best friend’s a pussy, and everytime you get excited you throw up.
[/old joke]