I had no idea illegal immigrants were tunneling under the fence at the border and emerging in Iowa. Maybe they’re being smuggled into the country by Bugs Bunny.
You’ll know why the first time you change the wood shavings.
No, he always takes a left turn at Albuquerque.
This is just Phase One. Phase Two is when we start having them spayed and neutered before release.
You mean cutting their nuts off, but are afraid to say it! Let’s call a spayed a spayed, OK?
No, but he should have.
What about simple practicality? Surely microchipping all illegal aliens involves first catching all the illegal aliens? Wouldn’t we then, you know, deport them, like we do now, instead of this bizarre catch and release program?
Their site is keyword-searchable. Searching in “microchip,” I found no threads on the chip-the-illegals idea. But, see the following:
Va. Lawmakers Oppose Forced Microchip Implantation, and the Antichrist
Will Your ID Soon Be a Microchip Under Your Skin?
Saudi Arab Files for Patent for ‘Killer’ Microchip
Enjoy. 
There’s no disconnect in the chipping world - we’re only chipping illegals - American’s don’t have to worry about it.
No, no, no, what are you, retarded? We just chip *everyone *who isn’t an American citizen!
Jesus christ, this isn’t rocket surgery.
Why chip them? Use a long iron or wood.
Shh! **Hearing their thoughts **is step #2 in the microchip plot!
All this talk of chips is giving me nacho cravings.
No, microchip the people when they get their green cards, The chip matches the ID on the green card. Chip doesn’t match, then you ship the guy out of the country because he has an illegal green card.
Actually, to be perfectly honest, I wouldn’t mind a microchip, if I could get my medical records burned onto it, and if it matched up to my passport or military ID.
So if we round up a stray illegal, we scan him for a chip, and that lets us return him to his owner. Great idea.
Can I adopt an alien from the pound to do my laundry?
I guess the theory is that before deporting people, we stick a chip in them, right? Then we’ll be able to catch them the instant they slip back across the border?
Did you think about this for even two seconds?
What, precisely, while your stereotypical low-skill Mexican is on his way to his coyote to get smuggled back into the US, is going to stop him from stopping by a low-rent surgery to get the chip taken straight back out? (And if they don’t exist now, how long will it take them to come into existence if this proposal is enacted?)
No, because you won’t clean up after it and will forget to feed it! Remember that poor Canadian tourist you found and tried to keep in a terrarium?
Sure, but first you really need to research what breed to get. You don’t want an illegal from a tropical/warm climate because they just wear loincloths and thus have very little experience doing laundry.
You’d want to pick an illegal from a cold climate like Canada because of the cold they wear lots of cloths and thus have lots of experience doing laundry.
Oh, oops. I see we already tried this with a Canadain. Maybe someone from Russia then.
I still say it would have worked if he’d have worn the damned green paint.
It’s not *that *hard. Really, I can point to the marks they should set the dials to and everything. Plus, if they’re especially primitive, I can tell them that I’ve trapped souls inside the machines to do the washing, and that if they don’t get it just right, they’ll be next. I find that fear is a great motivator when it comes to getting really sharp creases in my pants.
I don’t like Russians. Too grim. My washcloset should be a *cheerful *place.