Micromanage-Mania!! (A SDMB Gameshow!)

Hello again contestants and welcom back to Micromanage-Mania!!, the gameshow where YOU decide if it’s real a REAL micro-management regulation or just a silly fake one made up by our panel of washed-up has-been hollywood personalities.

The first contestant to get them all right wins a fabulous dream vacation in El Paradiso Lluvioso![sup]*[/sup] (Yeah! Fun in the sun!!) 2nd place wins a new toy Yoda[sup]**[/sup].

Our first guest is Attrayant. He works for the local baby Bell as a central office technician. Part of his job involves receiving customer reports of major service outages & performing the necessary troubleshooting to isolate the point of failure.

Hands on your buzzers now… ready? GO!


  1. No cell phones allowed on company property. If you need to give out an emergency contact number for family, etc., give your supervisor’s number and he’ll eventually get around to giving you the message.

  2. All technicians must be ready to take calls the second they arrive for work at 07:30. If a customer calls in before your workstation has fully booted up & all network management software has loaded (which takes about 15 minutes), the customer is to be placed on hold during that time.

  3. Tour of duty is 07:30-16:30, and both of the tech’s 15 minute breaks must be taken after 09:30 but before 14:30, however the break must not be taken adjacent to lunch.

  4. All technicians are hereinafter to be referred to as “units”, not “people” or “associates”.

  5. No personal reading material is allowed at workstations. All “units” must sit at their stations waiting for the next incoming customer call. During periods of low call volume (such as on the midnight shift, when an hour or two can pass with no calls), personal reading material may NOT be used to “pass the time” Personal reading material includes but is not limited to: Newspapers, magazines, trivia books, or anything that is unrelated to data networking protocols.

  6. Lunch may NOT be eaten at the Unit’s desk. Eat only in the break room (maximum capacity = 12 seated people … population of building ~ 120 “units”).

  7. Units are not to place their phones in a “not ready” state for more than 2-4 minutes. If a bathroom break is expected to exceed four minutes, please advise your supervisor.

  8. If any unit has left his phone in a “not ready” state for more than 5 minutes, a supervisor will be dispatched to determine what the trouble is.

  9. Units must raise their hands to ask permission to go to the bathroom.

  10. A “call forcing” plan has been put into effect. This means the unit will not have to press the “answer” button on the phone when a call rings into the center. As soon as a customer call reaches the center, it will be connected to the unit without ringing the phone set.

  11. Customer troubleshooting calls are not to exceed 8 minutes.

  12. Units should have no reason to leave their workstations (due to call forcing policy, units must always be ready to receive a call the moment it comes through).

  13. If a customer call is exceeding 8 minutes, place the call on hold, walk away from your workstation (remember rule #12!) and locate a supervisor. The supervisor will handle the call from that point.

  14. Smoke breaks are not permitted. Smoking must be done during either of the unit’s two regular breaks.

So contestants, which are true and which are false?

[sup]*once DDT spraying has been completed.[/sup]
[sup]**While supplies last[/sup]

All but #9! What did I win?

(LOL at #7 and #8, #8a. Supervisors will have to incorporate details of their findings into their daily log.)

** Attrayant ** - I work for AT&T and this is frightfully accurate.

Based on my experiences here, I’ll say #'s 1, 4, and 9 are not true. The rest seem sadly plausible.

Only 1 and 9 are false. The rest are true as is “I know you responded to that customer’s complaint correctly, but I need someone to blame. I’ve selected you, but don’t worry, I won’t let this affect your future”

Go ahead, check my email:o

Geeezus. Is there a guy in the corner banging a drum to pace everyone?

  1. false

  2. false

Well since I work somewhere where no cell phones are allowed, I am going to say all are true. Boy you must have a great bladder to work there.

If any three are actual rules, just run away screaming… it can’t be worth it.

15 wasn’t true and that’s why you deleted it on preview.

WooHoo! Congrats to iampunha and waverly, both of whom I am certain must work in the cubes adjacent from mine.

Now if you’ll excuse me, this unit needs to place you all on hold while my systems fully boot up.

Thanks Attrayant, the Peon class ticket on Aire Sal Paulo is really appreciated.

Hey, my cube height is a full 2.5 inches higher than yours reflecting my 17 months of seniority over you. Also, my coffee cup holds 1.6 more ounces and I have a ‘Team Player’ plaque:p

Good god.

Please tell me the retirement plan is out of this world, or you get full paid dental coverage…

What is a “Quasi-Facist Work Regimen”, Alex?