Inspired by this thread, where I was surprised to find out that subs can’t dive in two minutes like in the movies…
So military / ex-military folks, can you name some movies and / or scenes that you find hilariously inaccurate about the military, and possibly explain what about them is so hilariously bad based on what would actually happen?
I’m thinking more along the lines of things that are just stupid and wrong. Not necessarily historically inaccurate, like U-571 or Pearl Harbor, but more like “There’s no way Matthew McConaughey and his crew could climb into an empty German sub and get it started and diving with ten guys and only two that spoke German,” or “there’s no way that guy could say that quip to his CO without instantly getting the shit kicked out of him.”
Well, action movies used to constantly get wrong what various special forces like the Rangers or SF or the SEALs actually did. And uniforms are almost always wrong. I think the biggest violator I can think of for both of these was the movie Basic with John Travolta.
To name a few:
[ul]
[li]Officers don’t order sailors on submarines to drop and do push-ups like drill instructors do in basic training.[/li][li]Submarine dolphins aren’t worn on white dress shirts (part of the service dress blue uniform), but on the SDB jacket.[/li][li]Sonar displays do not look like radar scopes.[/li][li]The gist of the plot is contrived and unrealistic.[/li][/ul]
The Hunt for Red October wasn’t nearly as bad, though it had quite a few whoppers of its own. A trivial one is that the submarines seemed to have quite a bit more chrome and neon lights than I remember. Real submarines are much more drab and utilitarian.
Any knowledgeable person is going to see something annoyingly inaccurate about their field in pretty much any movie that features it. For instance, I am constantly grumbling about concert scenes in movies that feature people singing into microphones that didn’t exist at the time. Even more annoying is where they are singing into a microphone entirely wrong! In a Google search of “singer microphone” you will see the classic Shure model 55 microphone (aka the “Potato masher” or Elvis microphone). And MORE THAN HALF of the images they are being sung into wrong. This is like seeing a camera, and the model is looking into the lens rather than the viewfinder, or showing a submarine that can fly.
Note: You sing into the grill, where the logo is, NOT the solid metal top.
Yeah a lot of movies get the uniform wrong you have battle hardened four star Generals that have no deployment or unit patches that are leading a huge military campaign which I have seen Sergeant Majors and high ranking officers that had been in like thirty years and had never deployed but it would be rare for someone in charge of a big campaign having never deployed and a lot of the high ranking that I’ve seen that had never deployed were MOS’s like medical or something, I know I’ve seen a lot of other errors I just can’t think of any at the top of my head right now.
“The Green Berets” was hilarious. From the beginning with a SF COL as old as Wayne to the movie ending with the sun setting in the East, it was a laugh fest.
I remember reading somewhere that **all **military uniforms on TV or in movies were wrong on purpose. But I am not sure why. Something about it making it easier for other people to copy and impersonate personnel?
Not to mention smashing a comrade’s rifle against a tree…made easier by the fact it was a Mattel toy gun.
(That site linked, imfdb.org, is also a detailed, engrossing, and often hilarious listing of firearms in in film—and their mistakes, anachronisms, and occasional substituting of non-guns. )
