Military folks: what are the best hilariously inaccurate military movies / scenes?

[aruvqan]

@Loach

The only other time I know of when you would salute indoors was when reporting for pay. In the olden days there would be a pay officer on pay day. He would have a lock box full of cash and an armed guard. The troops would line up, step up to the pay officer, render a salute and say, “Private Loach reporting for pay.” The pay officer being busy with the cash and paperwork was not obligated to return the salute. The pay officer would hand over the pay and the private would move out to go piss away his money. I’m old enough to have gone through this ritual. Direct deposit was already manditory but this relic remained. You could still get cash from the pay officer instead of going to the bank.

I can remember mrAru getting his check handed to him in person before mandatory direct deposit. I can also remember being in the Exchange at Fort Story and seeing a window still marked ‘Pay Officer’ with hours marked. I can also remember the damned shift from first and fifteenth, to fifteenth and thirtieth, and one year when it was alternate Fridays. Most guys I knew grouched every time they changed, convinced they had been done out of some pay.

[and I recently was looking at the current pay charts. It is depressing that an O5 over 18 makes in retirement pay what mrAru used to make in a month working.]

[aruvqan]

@Sailboat

That’s what jumps out at you? How about the way the SEALs keep turning their backs to doors and windows, through which a bad guy rushes, so that they have to spin and shoot him, then they go into the next room and stand facing each other – their backs to the entrances again – and it happens AGAIN? Don’t they have any ability to learn, let alone training?

Also, as each mission starts, long before reaching their objective, often as soon as they hit the beach, someone notes that they’re “out of time!!!” We just watched them PLAN these missions. If your mission planning repeatedly results in you running out of time before even reaching your objective, you’re Doing It Wrong™.
.

Not being a combat type, I can’t comment on combat situations, I did however live in tidewater as a Navy dependent for 8 years … I can comment at length about Navy wives, situations I observed on base and actions of various types of Navy types [and having lived with a SEAL, I can comment on what the para loft looks like, and what it looks like in the command building, having been inside. Just like I have 20 years experience with subs and submariners having been living in Groton for 20+ years.]

[Boyo_Jim]

I just did a thread a few weeks ago about WWII flying movies. You climb into one kind of plane. You take off in another. Your cruise to your target in still another, and then you attack with two or three different types of planes. Maybe you land in the same kind of plane you took off in.

[nicky]

Soviets could put so many men in the field because they mobilised their women as well.

[RikWriter]

@nicky

Soviets could put so many men in the field because they mobilised their women as well.

Mobilizing Rachel Weisz won the battle of Stalingrad for them.

[Lemur866]

@Cubsfan

Stripes.

The scene that blows my mind is when they all get to basic training and go through to get hair cuts and everyone comes out with the standard #1 all around and Bill Murray and Egon come out with style cuts.

Seriously. Stripes.

That’s a–I say–that’s a JOKE, son.

[bump]

@Sailboat

…including mistakes, bad strategy, infighting, errors in weapon design, and good performance by their foes.

No one is denying that the Germans fielded a formidable military, but far too much is made of how they were swamped by endless enemy resources.

One of the single biggest mistakes they made was not unifying their industrial production down to a minimum number of models like the Allies did.

For example, the Germans at one point in 1943 had the Panzer III, Panzer IV, Panther and Tiger tanks in production, as well as the Sturmgeschutz III assault guns and variants of these.

Same thing for machine guns, fighter planes, rifles, and probably trucks, rail cars and everything else.

[mlees]

@bump

One of the single biggest mistakes they made was not unifying their industrial production down to a minimum number of models like the Allies did.

For example, the Germans at one point in 1943 had the Panzer III, Panzer IV, Panther and Tiger tanks in production, as well as the Sturmgeschutz III assault guns and variants of these.

Same thing for machine guns, fighter planes, rifles, and probably trucks, rail cars and everything else.

I think that’s because they were not willing to accept the time it would take to retool an entire production line, as well as retrain the factory workers.

The Stug III was based on the Panzer III chassis, and the Marder III and Hetzer SP guns were based on the pre-war Pz-38 tank chassis, a Czech factory production.

If Germany didn’t try taking on a lot of the industrialised world [with those darn meddling kids] all at the same time, it might have even paid off, too.

[Morbo]

Sigh. When did my thread about bad military movie scenes turn into a GQ on exactly how and why the Germans failed in Russia in WWII?

[silenus]

Right after Hitler annexed the Sudetenland.

[Lemur866]

You know who else used to hijack movie threads into debates about why the Germans failed?

[Raguleader]

@Lemur866

You know who else used to hijack movie threads into debates about why the Germans failed?

Ghandi? I recall we only went along with it because his thread derails were backed with NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

[Ludovic]

@Raguleader

Ghandi? I recall we only went along with it because his thread derails were backed with NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

I think Churchill would have gotten farther in his diplomacy if he hadn’t kept addressing Hitler as “O most untrustworthy leader of the infidels”.

[detop]

I think it would be hard to top Battle of the Bulge. About the only things they got right were
[ul][li]it involved German and American forces,[/li][li]it happened in World War II,[/li][li]it was a German surprise attack.[/li][/ul]
Beside that…

[ElvisL1ves]

Belgium in winter sure looks like California in summer, doesn’t it?

[detop]

Actually, it was filmed in Spain.

[Bryan_Ekers]

@Morbo

Sigh. When did my thread about bad military movie scenes turn into a GQ on exactly how and why the Germans failed in Russia in WWII?

@silenus

Right after Hitler annexed the Sudetenland.

And invaded Klendathu.

[Lemur866]

@Bryan_Ekers

And invaded Klendathu.

Well there are certain sections of Klendathu, Major, that I wouldn’t advise you to try to invade.

[Ranger_Jeff]

If the Germans had only followed up with a ground invasion after they bombed Pearl Harbor.