Reading this thread, I’m starting to get the feeling we may not need all the booze after all.
I also believe in Kermit underpants.
On yourself? On the small of a woman’s back? Or perhaps on Lee Harvey Oswald?
You shut your filthy noisehole.
Never! By the way, I conducted a deeply scientific experiment with Chaser last night, and the shit works.
I admire your commitment and ask you to share the fruits your noble pursuit of knowledge.
Noble it was. I believe, above all, in helping my fellow man.
I think I should conduct the next experiment with the Swedish Fish Martini: equal parts BlackHaus (blackberry schnapps), sour mix, cranberry juice, and the Swedish Fish garnish. In further honor of your heritage, I also suggest the Sweaty Mexican, which is basically a Prairie Fire but in a shot glass and not poured directly into the mouth.
Your Majesty, Your Royal Highness, Your Excellencies, Ladies and Gentlemen, and prior Nobel Laureates…
It is a great honor for me personally, and for the entire world, to be able to present this year’s Nobel Peace Prize, to Judith Prietht. As the famous poet Gundy once said:
Fuck you all, and get me another drink, asshole.
No wait, I’m sorry, I meant her other poem:
I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Nope, not that one either. I think it went something like:
I drank too effin much last night
My head and stomach aren’t feeling right.
My mouth is dry, and my eyes are red.
My God, I wish I was really dead.
Echoing Gundy’s thoughts, and the thoughts and dreams of all Dopers, I am pleased to present this award for going above and beyond the call of duty, for sacraficing yourself so that others may drink without pain, and for all you’ve done from drunk people everywhere. Ladies and Gentlemen:
Judith Priestht, this year’s Nobel Peace Prize winner.
No vodka? And what the hell is a fish garnish?
It is the hour to be drunken! To escape being the martyred slaves of time, be ceaselessly drunk. On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish.
Baudelaire
Hamlet, you fucking moron, the poem that made me Poet Laureate of Illinois is quoted on this very board. It starts, “Here I sit broken hearted…” And it blew UB’s pantywaist Baudelaire out of the goddamned water. NOW you can get me another drink, asshole. Hop to it!
Judith, if the Sweaty Mexican is not poured directly into the mouth, then how is it consumed? IV?
PS – I still maintain the Swedish Fish garnish is GENIUS, regardless of what that twit Random says.
A “Swedish fish” is kind of like a gummy bear, but, well, fish shaped. They’re red in color, and have the mass of probably 3-4 gummy bears.
And sorry about the bar, but there ought to be enough non-21+ events at the regular ChiDope, being held in April or May, which is better driving anyway. If they’re holding it at the bar I’m suspecting, I got carded there last time, and it’s been a while since I’ve been underage. I did tell Gundy how sweet it was of them to ask, though.
The dance re-mix is phenomenal.
I will take my prize money and fund further research efforts, to sow the seeds of knowledge for generations to come.
The website with the Sweaty Mexican lists one (1) ice cube as one of the ingredients. I have no idea. Perhaps you wring it out of a bar rag or something. I just typoed “bar rage” there. It’s the latest threat to the American way of life: Bar Rage.
Chicago Police Department Blotter:
Aggravated Battery
Chicago Police were called to the Black Rock Tavern on report of a drunk and disorderly patron. Upon arrival, officers found Charles Baudelaire, poet, translator, and art critic, unconscious, with a severe head wound and several Swedish Fish crammed in his mouth. After interviewing witnesses, officers arrested a woman, identified only as Gundy, after she was found reciting poetry with a pair of Kermit underwear on her head. Judith Prietht was treated and released for acute alcohol poisoning.
Shhhhhcrew you guysh anyway!
I have been instructed by the missus (jeevwoman) to advise all and sundry that we will apparently be attending this event, with the proviso that it has to be in the evening, as we have theataw tickets earlier in the day.
As we live in Bucktown, we would cast our vote for the event being held in Bucktown or Wicker Park so that we can simply walk or stagger home. However, Eva Luna advises us that the preferred venue must (a) serve something other than beer so that non-beer drinkers like Eva Luna have options; (b) not be too loud so that loud conversation between the Dopers is facilitated; © not be too smoky; (d) serve food so that people don’t drink on empty stomachs; and (e) not be a restaurant-type place where they want you to vacate your table when you’re done eating.
I’m not sure there is a bar in Chicago that meets all these criteria, but here are some names I could toss out for general dissection:
(1) Lottie’s (1925 W. Cortland)
(2) Northside Cafe (1635 N. Damen)
(3) Cans (1640 N. Damen)
(4) Silver Cloud (1700 N. Damen)
See you wherever!
jeevmon, it’ll definitely be in the evening - maybe around 8. As far as where, I’ll let you city folks figure it out - we’re coming in from the 'burbs so we have to drive no matter where it is.
Cans is a great place, although it gets REAL crowded and very loud – not conducive to conversation at all. I’ve not been to any of the others. Another suggestion may be Big Chick’s (which the esteemable Judith Prietht has heartily recommended in the past.
Some good choices may well be the old standbys of Black Rock (Damen just north of Addison) and the Grafton, where we had last year’s ChiDope. (Plus, the Grafton’s got awesome curry fries.) Both places are comfy, have good drink selections and are relatively quiet and good for chatting. As for smokiness… that may be unavoidable, as bars and smoking do tend to go together for many folks.
Big Chick’s? So we get our drinks and a large-print religious tract? I call dibs on “Dark Dungeons.”