I’ve heard a different argument: “I have automatic headlights on my car, and they don’t turn on when it rains.” Did you drive without headlights at night, too, all those years before you had automatic headlights? :rolleyes: Actually, for some of the people who make this argument: don’t answer that, I don’t think I want to know.
Giant_Spongess, it’s highly ironic that a sponge would pit someone for being spineless. 
What are parking lights for, anyway? Why have a switch position that turns them on without headlights at all?
Username. It’s not a hard concept. If I ask for a username, or a log-in name, then I don’t want your life story, or your home address, or anything else. I want the name you told us you wanted to log in with, when you first set up your internet account. I don’t need your password, and I don’t care what your hotmail email address is.
If you can’t remember your username, and you make me search through your surname, date of birth, postcode, phone number and/or billing information, and then it turns out to be your own full fucking name, then I reserve the right to send an electric shock through the phone line, and blow your ass to kingdom come.
People whom are paid to be on-call support in the middle of the night, and get all indignant when I call them in the middle of the night. Look fucker, it is my job to call you when something goes wrong. And you are paid to receive my call when something goes wrong. If you don’t like it, I’ll take your fucking $80,000 salary and wipe my ass with it and shove it down your fucking throat. Don’t sign up for 24/7 support if your bitch-ass can’t handle it! I’m up and 3 a.m., you can be too!
Nic fits are over with. Now I’m just ranting because I feel like it.
Brain-pickers - I refer to those who call my office and ask me if they can pick my brain for a while. Sometimes I’ve never even met these people, yet they would like to rifle through my collected knowledge and experience like some overzealous student goes through a library card catalog looking for research paper material. And then they get offended when I have to pitch them on paying a fee. You see, we get paid for strategy work and we like to make money. So don’t get all snotty when I’ve never met you before, you ask to pick my brain, and I propose a fee. That’s what I fucking get paid for. As much as I’d like to help you out, I’d like to be able to make my mortgage payments more.
People who don’t use the freight elevator, but should - If you work in an office building, you know the type. Too good for the crummy service elevator, and perfectly willing to put everyone in the building out of their way in order to prove it. “Oh, pardon me while I take these 16 boxes of T-shirts up to 12…” Use the freight elevator! “Do you mind if I stop at every floor on the way down to deliver the mail?” Yes, I fucking do, because I’d like to get to the ground floor before the weekend. Use the freight elevator! That’s what it’s for - Hauling freight up and down so that the people using the passenger elevator (which includes several clients who spend a shitload of money with me) don’t have to be inconvenienced.
More elevator rants:
For the love of God, are you so fucking lazy you have to take the elevator up (or even worse, down) one floor? Everyone knows that the elevators here take forever to come to your floor when you call them, take fice times as lnog for the door to close, are very slow at actually moving, and are usually ten degrees warmer than the rest of the hospital. I routinely have to go from the basement to the 2nd floor. When you count the ground floor, I have to go up three floors. You know what? i wuold LVOE to take the stairs, because peopel like you make the elevator take longer, but, as you can see, I have to push this little carty full of my test equipment and tools. It’s much harder for me to carry that up the stairs than it is for you to walk. But no, because you’re so bitch-ass lazy, you have to taske the elevator from the ground floor to the first floor. You know what that means? I have to stop at every floor.
Point #2: Know what floor you need to get off at. This is not a problem for staff here, but apparantly not a single patient/visitor/rep/vendor can read either the little lighted number above the door telling you what floor it ios, nor can they read the large floor directory greeting you when the elevator door opens. None of the floors look alike, with the exception of the first and second. But, since 99% of the people who do this are coming from the first floor and gonig down, that doesn’t matter. You alwayus have to step off the elevator as soon as the door opens, assuming it HAS to be your fllor, because no one on the other floor could possibly want to go down. Granted, many of them SHOULDN’T be going down one measly floor, but sometimes they have to, like they also have large things that are awkward to carry up stairs, or in a wheelchair, or a paitent in a gurney being moved. But you have to assume your floor is the only one that amstters, abrge out and awlk aroudn for nine seconds, and come racing back right as the door finishes closing, forcing me to hit the door open button so you can get your ass back on and wait for the door to close (and these doors are the SLOWEST closing doors I have ever seen.) Pay attention!
Note: I awknowledge that some people do have trouble going up stairs, but I would say a good 95% of the population can go up one floor with no problem.
About the car lights thing - I realized I needed to turn my lights on more often that I had been doing when I noticed one drizzly day I could hardly distinguish between the silvery grey of the Jeeps hood and the silvery grey of the road. Now I turn my lights on if the sun goes behind a cloud!
People who leave time on the microwave after they’re finished with it. It’s a microwave, not a frickin’ parking meter. There is no advantage for someone coming in later to find a microwave with time left on it. Didn’t they teach you to “leave it the way you found it” in kindergarten?
I pit building designs that make it much more inconvenient to take the stairs than the elevator. My apartment building, for example. To take the elevator, I go out to the elevator and get on. I am under a roof at all times, so I do not care if it is raining. I come out near the parking garage on the ground level. To take the stairs, my only option is to take the stairs that come out outside the building on the ground level. I have to use my passcode to get back into the building, and get wet if it’s raining out. Why couldn’t we have a staircase that starts and ends inside the building? :eek:
I’ll admit to doing this in a building where I used to work. We had to go down to the lobby to pick up the mail, and it was just two flights. I would have prefered to use the stairs, and they were right there at the end of the hall just outside the office. The stairs opened up right at the lobby. To use the elevator, I had to walk down the hall, wait for the elevator, and then walk back to the lobby.
But… the stairs were always dirty and horribly smelly and more often than not, the lights were broken, and the handrails were always sticky. I wasn’t walking down two flights in the dark, on dirty sticky steps, holding a wet, sticky handrail.
I pit the “welcome back to school!” plague that literally hit me overnight. My immune system held out for three weeks, but finally gave way…argh! Stupid humidity for making me wheeze, stupid air conditioning for making me cough, stupid fluorescent lights stabbing my eyes with their vicious flickerings! Stupid nose suddenly running like a faucet, stupid throat for swelling up, and especially stupid lungs for not functioning! Arrrrgh!!
cough, cough
wheeze
Because the idiot architects thought stairs were optional, and only put in a fire stair because they had to. That’s why it ends outside the building: so people fleeing a fire will end up outside where they should be. Be thankful for fire codes, or lots of buildings wouldn’t have stairs at all.
Is it just me, or are the boards unusually slow today?
These would be the same idiot architects who gave us two phone jacks in a two-bedroom apartment: one in the kitchen beside the stove, and one in the master bedroom. In a building that was new when we moved in in 2003. We had to get a wireless network to use the smaller bedroom for an office.
I guess I should just be grateful the faucets turn the right way for hot and cold water. I’ve been in motels where they had that backwards.
The electrical plugs in my house were all installed upside down. I hadn’t really noticed it until I bought a plug-in air freshener, which specifically states “do not plug in upside down”.
Grrrrrrrrrr.
Dear cow-orker: I have only been working here a few months. Therefore, I do not yet recognize all my cow-orkers…especially the ones I haven’t worked with yet. So do not get snippy with me when I politely ask for your ID.
Bitch.
Never work in a hospital. It seems all the outlets are ground plug up.
HGTV just had a show on the National Hardware Show. Someone’s come up with an outlet that rotates.
I once lived in an apartment (in a 15-floor building with about 400 or so units, all of which I assume were wired the same way) in which every light switch was put in upside down. I suspect there is a clan of electricians with upside down faces out there.
My apartment has both upside down and right side up plugs. The upside down ones are the ones controlled by a switch. I thought that was nice.
And now for a really random and petty rant:
Roman Numerals and My Brain
I just can’t seem to get Roman numerals “down” like I have with regular Arabic numerals. I can look at the number 23 and immediately know what it means. But, if you give me XXIII, I have to do the math to figure it out- I don’t know just by looking. I pit my brain for not being able to figure out Roman numerals without translating them.
Why are Roman numerals used so often, anyway?